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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in being so upset at losing an emerald necklace?

39 replies

hippopo · 07/04/2010 07:37

I have lost a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace that my husband bought for me when we were backpacking around Brazil for my 30th birthday. I also wore it to our wedding a year later and the whole wedding took on an emerald theme with emerald bridesmaid dresses ect. We dont own many expensive things and this is the most expensive thing we own and there is no way we can afford to replace it. Also due to long story it has not been insured since Oct/Nov time.

I last wore it in August to a wedding and now cannot find it although I do remember bringing it home. I have absolutley no idea what I have done with it although I have a habit of hiding it in strange places.

Since Aug I have had a major clearout of each room and seriously decluttered everywhere. Turned house upside down yesterday and cannot find it. Will be going to my locla charity shope today to see on off chance I have donated it (accidentally in a handbag or something) and also thinking of trying hypnothearpy to jog my memory.

I have been so upset about this and am trying to put it in perspective as it is at the end of day only an object. I am 27 weeks pregnant with 1st child and it doesn't help me or baby being so upset and after trying for 2 years would have happily swapped necklace for ability to conceive back then.

Any tips on how to find or how to get over this upset quickly would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
x

OP posts:
butadream · 07/04/2010 07:44

I bet you find it at 39 weeks when the nesting instinct kicks in! If you are at home I am sure it will turn up, we lost a wedding ring behind the bed for 3 years but found it eventually.

Haggisfish · 07/04/2010 07:47

Oh no! YANBU - I would accept you will be gutted for a while, but then just keep repeating 'it's only a necklace, it's only an object' to yourself over and over again. presumably you have lots of lovely photos of it if you wore it to your wedding?

No tips on finding it unfortunately - I would just make sure you double check any boxes/bags before you throw them away from the loft/spare room/storage area.
Be heartened that you remember bringing it home - i'm sure it will turn up somewhere.

Lizzylou · 07/04/2010 07:48

I hope you find it.

I lost the sapphire out of the ring my DH got me for my 30th, it was in the freezer .

I am sure it will turn up, I hide things in ridiculous places as well.

CwtchyMama · 07/04/2010 07:49

Have you checked all your old handbags?

Your dhs suit pockets, in case you gave it to him to look after at the wedding?

In your sheets/duvets in your airing cupboard in case it fell off whilst you were in bed?

In the pipe of your washing machine?

Good luck & i am sure you will find it.

ZZZenAgain · 07/04/2010 07:50

If you definitely remember bringing it home, it will be there somewhere. You did not give it to a chartiy shop by accident. I'm sure of that.

So you have a habit of hiding it rather than placing it in a jewellery box. Think now where have you hid it/other valuable things before

ZZZenAgain · 07/04/2010 07:52

HOw bulky is it? Is it a pendant on a chain or a necklace that is quite thick all round? Have you stuffed it in a pair of tights/socks? Is it packed away in a suitcase with your summer clothes? I don't know where you tend to leave it - under your mattress, at the back of a kitchen shelf? In the linen cupboard inside a folded tablecloth?

SimonCowellIsSatan · 07/04/2010 07:52

I completely understand your situation! Mine bought me some beautiful silver and opal earrings and necklace for my 30th and although I'm wearing the necklace I simply can not for the life of me find them anywhere. I last wore them to a wedding in March last year but have been looking ever since. We've even moved house so I've had the chance to go through absolutely everywhere an I still can't find them.

At least if you remember last seeing it at home then it's likely to be there and as little use to you as it is now, it WILL turn up eventually.

Does your husband know? I've not told mine!

essenceofSES · 07/04/2010 07:55

YANBU
I'd be gutted
You are right though, it is an object and I think you need to try and focus on those thoughts and the exciting arrival of DC1.
St Anthony is the patron saint of lost things and many believe he can help find things that have been lost. (Appreciate this isn't everyone's cup of tea though!)

ZZZenAgain · 07/04/2010 07:58

I was thinking of St. Anthony.

The washing machine pipe is a good idea really. Ditto vacuum cleaner but may well have been emptied if you sucked it up by accident.

You didn't leave it in a hotel safe when you went to that wedding now, are you sure about that?

ZZZenAgain · 07/04/2010 08:00

Do you leave things like that in the toe of shoes - maybe evening shoes you don't wear much?

So many places you could hide things in a house when you think about it. What a pain losing it now when it is no longer insured on top of everything else.

gtamom · 07/04/2010 08:01

Yanbu. It is very special to you, you are not being materialistic in the least. I hope you find it, did you look in your make up cases, all handbags, on top of cupboards in little jars and things? I used to stick a ring in small bowl thing on top of my stove, it got knocked back behind it once and I didn't notice for ages.

PavlovtheCat · 07/04/2010 08:01

Stop looking for it. Seriously. Once you stop, it is more likely to show up.

DH lost his tag watch and wedding cufflinks. For probably about a year. He searched High and Low, turfing out cupboards, going through trouser pockets etc etc. He could not have looked anywhere else.

Then, cleaning out our loft in prep for conversion, we went through some ornaments we had put away. In the box there was an old wooden box of mine. There they were. And then, i remember DH putting them in it for 'safekeeping' ! We had long given up hope of finding them and had completely forgotten about the box.

Also, i have found things by stopping the search and giving up, then waking at 3am on some random day in the future remembering where it is!

PavlovtheCat · 07/04/2010 08:02

sorry, should have said that i feel your pain. I lost the amber from my mothers ring (passed away) on a beach, never to be found again. I felt sick with sadness.

MaMight · 07/04/2010 08:03

I bet it turns up. My gold bracelet was lost for nearly a year and then turned up in the back of my wardrobe. I'd been rummaging right next to it for all that time and never found it.

bruffin · 07/04/2010 08:05

A friend of ours bought an emerald ring back from brazil as well. She went on holiday and hid ring in the pocket of a coat up in the loft while they were away and left it there when she came back. Her DH didn't know where she had left if and donated the coat to a charity shop. Not sure of the timeline but they were certain it was lost as the coat was gone.

Months later they were going through clothing stored up there and they found the ring in the pocket of another coat.

Hope it turns up- I lost an earring that DH bought me last night. I wear them all the time so I know how upsetting losing a special piece of jewellerty is.

OrmRenewed · 07/04/2010 08:06

YANBU.

May I suggest that you simply stop looking. It's making you miserable and I'd put any money on it just turning up one day - probably 6m down the line. I lost hundreds of things when I was pregnant - common sense and short-term memory were in short supply

Madascheese · 07/04/2010 08:31

YANBU

But...I generally find things I'm really upset/worried about having lost just after I've told the person I'm most worried about telling.

If your DH doesn't know yet, mention it.

Good luck finding it, I feel your pain!

JackRabbitBauer · 07/04/2010 08:35

YANBU at all, I'd be gutted too.
If you have a habit of hiding it in weird places and you are pregnant then it could veyr well be anywhere, I regularly put things 'away' in odd places when pregnant.

The more you check the more stressed you wil get, I get a bit obsessive about looking for things at times so I know this. It really is going to be hard but you have to trust that you will NOT have given it away or chucked it, really, you would have checked.
I have foudn things down the back of radiators, in the (ripped) lining of suitcases and trapped under carpets/behind furniture it could never have got behind.

taffetacat · 07/04/2010 08:44

YANBU

When you are least bothered and not thinking about it, it will turn up.

I lost my watch whilst we were having building work done on the house. I was convinced it was in the garden somewhere. I gave it up as trashed, but a few months later I found it in the bottom of a toy box of DD's in her room.....

Objects that hold significant memories are important, but as you know its the people and the actual memories that are key.

carolondon · 07/04/2010 10:14

Double check the linings of bags. I have just found my wedding earrings that i thought i had lost. They had got through the smallest hole imaginable in the lining of a handbag.
Try not to be too sad if you don't find it. My DH lost his wedding ring on holiday last year and we still haven't replaced it. However we have a very happy marriage!

muddleduck · 07/04/2010 10:21

Do you have a good photo of you wearing it? From the wedding perhaps?

Get a lovely framed picture and put it somewhere prominent to remind you that you still have the great memories IYKWIM.

Original poster
hippopo · 07/04/2010 10:23

Thank you so much for all your replies they are both helpful and comforting.

Yes DH does know and has been helping me search, he is being very reasonable and understanding bless him.

I think I will have to trust that it will turn up in the strangest of places in its own time. It is in a medium sized velvet box that it came in when DH bought it so it is not too small.

I just have a horrible feeling I hid it somewhere very stupid a week after the wedding just as we were about to leave for holiday and the rubbish bin in the bathroom keeps popping into my mind. (which has been emptied hundreds of times since). But if I did hide it somewhere stupid like that surely I would now remember rather than it being very vaugue memory.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
BigRedTomato · 07/04/2010 10:39

I lost my wedding ring recently, hunted high and low, posted an appeal on MN as a cry for help, and found it last week wedged in the bottom of a gardening glove.

Had been out in February planting a tree when it was freezing and snowing, and must have worked it's way off my finger. Found it last week when I was planting some bits. The whole of the neighbourhood heard me shriek with glee! I'm still claiming it had nothing to do with pregnancy brain though..

I'd all but given up hope, but It's not just an object when it means so much to you, I really hope you find it - however far down the road

wahwahwah · 07/04/2010 10:42

You will NOT have thrown it out. How dozy would you have to be to do this? (That's what I say to myself when I misplace things!). It will turn up. Probably somewhere weird (especially if you are used to hiding it!). try the freezer!

babybarrister · 07/04/2010 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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