AIBU to not cook a proper dinner for the children when they've already had a hot meal in school?

[helyg]

My second AIBU of the day, I must be suffering from hidden insecurities

The youngest of my 3 DC starts primary school full time next week. All 3 of them have school dinners, which they love and frequently have seconds (or thirds) of.

I know that DD will be tired when she gets home, and DS2 always is too. They won't want to wait until DH gets back from work to eat supper. I don't really want to cook twice (much as I enjoy cooking, I don't want to do two meals in two hours!)

So, AIBU to give the children, or at least the younger two, something like homemade soup or welsh rarebit for tea when they get back from school, and cook a proper supper for us later?

No - why would they need two cooked meals in a day? Mine ususally only want something simple in the evenings having eaten well at lunchtime....beans on toast etc. If they are hungry I make pasta with cheese. Simple and quick.

YANBU.

No yanbu. I don't either.

Oh god yes, don't bother cooking proper dinners for them if they've had school ones. I often do picnic food for supper, ie. a sandwich or crackers with a selection of cheese or ham, plus cucumber, tomatoes, carrot sticks etc. Hummus good also, or falafels, or even crisps very occasionally. Plus fruit or yoghurt.

Another don't worry here.

My ds1 would be ravenous if I tried that. he NEEDS two cooked meals or at least a hefty packed lunch and a cooked meal. Snack dinner doesn't cut it for him and never has. He wakes up in the night hungry (or simply grazes all evening)

homemade soup and welsh rarebit would count as cooked dinners here.

If you are sure they are eating properly at school (and it sounds like you are sure) then YANBU. Nobody needs 2 hot meals a day. I would be giving them sandwiches or like you suggest, soup or a toastie. Nothing major.

Absolutely fine as long as they actually are getting a good meal and eating it at lunchtime that is.

I always do a proper dinner for DD, and me even though she has a school meal but then as it's only the two of us, and the evening meal is my main meal it's no hassle.

I don't think you are BU, though I don't like the concept of children and adults eating separately (and think it can contribute to eating issues), if it works for you for now, then go for it.

YANBU at all. Especially if you know they do actually eat their main meal at school. My dc don't need 2 cooked meals either.

And come to think of it my mum didn't give us a big hot cooked meal on school evenings when she knew we'd been served but not eaten cos it tasted like shite a hot meal at lunchtime. And we survived fine

I don't like the idea of children and adults eating seperately, which is why we've always eaten together. But often DS2 (who is 5) struggles to eat when DH gets home as he is too tired really, and I can see this being an even bigger problem for DD as she still naps in the afternoon some days after nursery school. So I would rather they ate seperately from us than not at all. DS1 (who is 7) will probably still eat with DH and I, in fact he has specifically asked to, as he tends to need two cooked dinners as he plays a lot of sport etc and is always ravenous. But I think it may be a short term solution for DS2 and DD until they are old enough to keep their eyes open at the dinner table!

my DS has 2 hot meals a day now and hes only 2.3 yrs old! :S am i setting myself up for hard work lol.
he has 3 cooked meals on the weekends as he has cooked brekkie aswell!

I love cooking though so i don't mind, and my son needs a lot to maintain his weight.

If the kids arn't bothered then i wouldn't feel bad so long as its something good and not a sandwich or cereal like i used to get offerd

Thinking about it logically it is only the same as DD eats now, but the other way around... she eats soup or a boiled egg or a toastie for lunch and then a proper cooked dinner at night. This way she will just be having her "lunch" at tea time!

I do cook a hot meal at night for dd1 and ds even though theyb have school dinners.

They often choose to have a sandwich at school if they don't fancy whats on offer and also because they are very hungry when it comes to tea time that a snack meal wouldn't fill them at all.

Also dd2, myself and dp have to eat too and I refuse to do tw0 different dinners for us all and so although the eldest two have a hot meal at night.

My kids are like sticks as well and dd2 slighly underweight

Mine don't have the choice at school, there is only one option (which is a proper cooked meal, eg roast dinner, pasta bake etc followed by a pudding). They are like sticks too, and DS2 is borderline for growth hormone defficiency and also anaemic, but I figure I can probably get more calories/nutrients into them with a bowl of soup and a roll and cheese straight after school than with a "proper" dinner later on when they are too tired to eat much of it.

I was so pleased when DS1 started getting school dinners at Junior school, thinking I wouldn't have to cook for him.

But, not only does he have 2 or 3 helpings at school, but is really hungry when he gets home and eats loads more than he did before.

I think he's on a growth spurt or maybe at age 8 they all eat everything they can see?

He's not overweight either, not an ounce of fat on him.

We all eat together at about 6 cos I wouldn't bother to cook just for myself later on.

YANBU- as long as you are sure they eat healthily at school and all the veg hasn't been stewed so that no vitmains are left in it.

Personally, I wouldn't rely on school dinners as a source of nourishment unless I knew what they were eating, if they were eating it adn how well it was cooked. I also know that school kitchens use the cheapest ingredients possible and it's not always healthy stuff.

However, nutritious does not mean hot - so they can still get a good meal at home in other ways.

lol Dollytwat, that sounds like my eldest.

But DD and DS2 are too tired to eat properly at 5.30/6pm (when the rest of us eat). DH likes his dinner quite early, but he's not home at 4.30pm which is when they seem to eat best!

We are very lucky with our school dinners, everything is sourced locally (so for example the meat comes from the same butcher in town which I use, he has his own farm and slaughters his own animals so it really is local). Looking at their menus everything is pretty healthy, and there is lots of fresh fruit and veg (which is supplied by a local greengrocer). Everything is cooked from scratch on the premises, and I know the cook. So I'm pretty confident that they are getting good food at lunchtime.

Your school dinners sound brilliant Helyg The 5yo I look after gets away with just choosing a chunk of bread and a piece of the meat that day

I don't give mine another cooked dinner
I got flamed on here once though for saying I didn't think it was necessary and was a waste of money to buy sch dinners to only cook for them again when they got home
I still think I'm right
I only ever had one hot meal a day grwoing up
i guess you follow what you know and are used to

they are allowed seconds at school? really? how do they find the time to allow them seconds let alone thirds

as for post - god know do what feels best to you

Don't worry about it seriously - it's a ridiculous british belief that certain meals have to be a certain way.

Mine have a bloody ham sandwich or pasta and cheese at school for their dinner, drives me potty they arrive home starving and expecting a full roast