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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not buy DS a first birthday present

76 replies

girlylala0807 · 06/04/2010 18:20

My Ds will be 1 on Thursday

I could not love him more if I tried. However, this love I have for him has been questioned at work when I said I was not buying him any presents.

We buy him clothes and stuff now and again. I just dont see the point in spending a fortune. I dont hink he is going to care that much. We are going to the zoo but thats mostly because me and dh want to go!

Also he is the first grandchild on both sides and will be spoilt rotten!

So AIBU not to buy him anything?

OP posts:

seaturtle · 07/04/2010 15:54

YANBU I'm struggling to think of something to buy DS for his 2nd birthday next month. I did buy him an ELC garage for his 1st birthday last year which he really likes. He already has heaps of toys and books. I'm not going to spend a lot of money on him this year as his favorite, most played with toys are the cheap second hand ones I buy from charity shops! DS doesn't really understand the whole birthday and birthday present thing yet. And I think going to the zoo is a lovely present, wether he remembers it or not.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 07/04/2010 19:13

I suspect, I'll trawl a few charity shops for a nice toy for DD's first birthday - more because I love doing that. She'll be spoilt rotten by the GPs so I think we might do a day out too. Some lovely photos would be a fab reminder.

MumNWLondon · 07/04/2010 19:19

YANBU he's too small and as you say is spoiled by others.

Even at 2 or 3 (or more) kids have no appreciation of money so don't realise that stickers cost less than a bigger toy.

piscesmoon · 07/04/2010 19:32

YANBU. There is no point if he has plenty. He will like the wrapping paper more anyway.

monkeyjoe · 04/09/2010 10:40

I totally agree with the wrapping paper comment. They haven't a clue what's going on and the milestone is more for the parents than the baby. But I have found some cute memory type gifts on www.babysfirstbirthday.co.uk - I got a lovely photo frame for my niece.

MyBoysHaveDogsNames · 04/09/2010 11:49

YANBU. I bought DS1 a present for his first birthday - stairgates!

maddylou · 04/09/2010 11:57

make sure you take a photo on the day

maybe buy a frame with space for pictures over the next 5 years--you`ll love it

you could buy him a present he`ll grow into like a hardback book e.g.Winnie the Pooh and write a lovely message in as a first birthday is special

have a lovely time

maddylou · 04/09/2010 12:01

Also you could buy a cheap "Grandma`s Boasting Book" which holds photos ,put in ones of your day out at the zoo with captions on alternate pages in simple words -will make great 1st reading book."Here is Granny and a giraffe" etc

Curiousmama · 04/09/2010 12:02

YANBU and sound very wise. Just ignore those who scoff they're the ones who like BAFE said confuse money with love. Probably best not to tell ignorant people in the future though to save stress and finger pointing from the silly sods

Curiousmama · 04/09/2010 12:04

at stairgates!

That book's a great idea maddylou

dustycups · 04/09/2010 12:29

save your money till he 18month when you go shopping and wont put a peticular toy down in elc! that way you can buy it and know he will enjoy it!

SweetnessAndShite · 04/09/2010 12:34

We did what lifeas3plus1 is going to do. At that age they don't really understand presents anyway and certainly won't be aware of who they're from. Some money in account for when he's older will be much more useful... he can put it towards his first car or something :-)

ThatDamnDog · 04/09/2010 12:39

YANBU. My mum gave us money for his first birthday and we used it to buy a carseat.

He was 3 this year and we got him a couple of colouring books, some playdoh, a water pistol and a bag of Jelly Babies. The rest of the family went mental with presents so he didn't exactly miss out, and when they're wee they're only interested in it for a nanosecond anyway.

Waste of money spending a fortune on a baby IMO.

differentnameforthis · 04/09/2010 13:04

I don't see the argument that he won't understand as he is only 1. It isn't about now, is it?

I don't have any childhood memories. I have 1 soft toy that I got age 5. I have no photos, I have no keepsakes. Sometimes, I wish I had more. I wonder what I got for my first birthday!

Journey · 04/09/2010 13:19

I think it is greedy and selfish. The op can't be bothered spending money on her own child but happily expects relatives to part with their money and buy gifts for her child.

If you can't be bothered spending money on your own child then tell the relatives not to buy your child anything either and all follow the same principle!

FlyingInTheCLouds · 04/09/2010 13:36

of course yanbu. we have 4 dc and have never bought a pressie for first b-days or xmas total waste

ThatDamnDog · 04/09/2010 17:00

Journey, that's ridiculous. We've repeatedly asked family not to go mad, mainly because we've no room in the house and can't afford to return the favour. For his first birthday from family DS got a trike - has only just mastered this now, at 3 - an electric trike, a quad bike, a sit-on digger thing, and a ball pool. And I'm supposed to feel guilty for spending money on visiting these relatives so he can spend time with them, instead of buying some more plastic tat to add to the pile? What a load of crap.

nattiecake · 04/09/2010 17:06

I'm having this same discussion with DH now regarding xmas presents for baba. Who is due in 4 weeks...

PurpleCrazyHorse · 04/09/2010 19:04

We bought DD a secondhand Happyland barge on eBay (which she had a few weeks early) and then we went to Folly Farm the day before her birthday. She had a mini milk ice lolly as a treat.

We did do a little family 'party' as the grandparents wanted to see her and so she had a cake at the party and a little cake on her birthday.

We have some lovely photos (and would have done even if we didn't have a party and it was just me & DH with her at Folly Farm), but it seems a waste to buy a big gift when she's just as happy with her barge.

TBH we purposely chose a day out because the grandparents were planning to buy big gifts (first DGD on both sides). She had a sand and water pit, a smart trike, some other toys and some more Happyland things. There's now a smart trike in our lounge as it won't fit in the shed!!

NonnoMum · 04/09/2010 19:15

I didn't even buy anything for DD's 5th birthday. She had a party with loads of kids from her class (easily cost £100) and then a present from each one of the guests, along with grandparents etc.
After unwrapping the presents and sending thank yous, we put the presents away and brought out one each week to play with (or to "do" as most of them were craft-type activities)

woofie · 04/09/2010 19:25

For ds's first bday, we bought a bike seat so he could ride on our bikes with us. Would've bought it anyway, but still got him excited! 1 is too young to get presents and I'm sure he'll be inundated anyway, so no, YAdefNBU.

woofie · 04/09/2010 19:26

(meant 'get' as in understand, not receive... Sleep deprivation affecting comprehensibility)

DuelingFanjo · 04/09/2010 19:32

YANBU. He won't remember.

EvaLongoria · 04/09/2010 19:35

Did anyone realise this is a very old post

DuelingFanjo · 04/09/2010 19:41

Oh eva just noticed. Bumped by Monkeyjoe. Hmmmm.

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