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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy DS a first birthday present

76 replies

girlylala0807 · 06/04/2010 18:20

My Ds will be 1 on Thursday

I could not love him more if I tried. However, this love I have for him has been questioned at work when I said I was not buying him any presents.

We buy him clothes and stuff now and again. I just dont see the point in spending a fortune. I dont hink he is going to care that much. We are going to the zoo but thats mostly because me and dh want to go!

Also he is the first grandchild on both sides and will be spoilt rotten!

So AIBU not to buy him anything?

OP posts:
Squitten · 06/04/2010 19:44

YANBU - he won't have the first clue what it's all about anyway.

My DS's first Xmas was when he was only 3 months old and we didn't buy him anything at all! For his first birthday, I think we got him something small (I can't actually remember ) but he was so overloaded with gifts that he couldn't really take it all in!

NonnoMum · 06/04/2010 19:45

No - not at all, get away with it whilst you can! A day out IS a present, but I always get them a card and keep them to look back on.
And, like you say, the GPs will be spoiling him rotten.

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/04/2010 19:46

Yabu. You need to have a heart of stone not to get a present for your pfb on his first birthday! For all that it symbolises at least. Come on, you don't need to spend a fortune. Couple of pounds. But wrap it up and take photos of him opening it! Good gracious.

MumInBeds · 06/04/2010 19:53

I agree that a day out is a present and actually there is evidence that experiences give much more long term happiness than possessions.

Sandymag · 06/04/2010 19:58

How about a book? We're in the habit of getting an appropriate hardback (new or charity shop) and writing a little message inside to mark dds' birthdays or other milestones. Useful, fun and they love to look back on them afterwards. I bet you chould get something lovely at the zoo. Hhave a great time!

pranma · 06/04/2010 20:00

A book is a great present and you can write in it so that it can be kept as a reminder of his birthday-has he got Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell?

MrsForHowLong · 06/04/2010 20:00

It's entirely up to you. We bought each of our dcs a keepsake for their first birthday.

damnedchilblains · 06/04/2010 20:14

YANBU at all, it's not exactly like he's going to be upset about it is it. Besides I can't even remember what I bought dc's for their first birthday's. quite pointless I'm sure he's happy enough having loving parents.

Nightshoe · 06/04/2010 20:22

YABU, I would at least have to get a book. He won't know what the hell is going on at the zoo or remember that either, but you are still going.

ilovespinach · 06/04/2010 20:23

We didn't get DS2 a first birthday present either. His birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas and he just didn't need anything. (Was a completely different story for ds1 and TBH when they are so young a big pile of presemts is too much).

I think it's a really nice idea to have a family day out for birthdays. Your DS will really enjoy spending some quality time with you at the zoo. This is of far more benefit to him then a pile of presents. As others have suggested, a balloon or a small cuddly toy at the zoo if he takes a shine to something would be more than enough

Hope you have a great day!!!

StarExpat · 06/04/2010 20:35

yanbu. when babies turn 1 they do not know it's their birthday... they have a great day, regardless of what you do. It has nothing to do with how much you spend or any material thing that he gets or doesn't get.

Even if gps didn't give him any presents, I still don't think it would be anything bad... he isn't going to know and as long as he's happy, all is well. Not sure why people feel the need to "buy" stuff... no need to worry about getting a "small token" or a balloon or such either... he won't care. If he's anything like my ds, he'll think the leaf or rock that he picks up on the way to the zoo is waybetter than any toy, clothing, or piece of plastic.

wastwinsetandpearls · 06/04/2010 20:40

YANBU, I don't think I have ever bought my dd a birthday present and she is 8.

They get more than enough IMO without you adding to it,.

KAEKAE · 06/04/2010 20:43

YANBU...each to their own. We did go way over the top for DS first birthday and he got so much from our families...DS did love the car he got but TBH he didn't know what was going on. I guess I wanted to do it for the photos!!!! We took him to a farm too and he had a good day. My sister on the overhand didn't bother buying her son any Christmas gifts, he was only a few days old and she said he wouldn't know, he got loads of friends and family so didn't go without.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 06/04/2010 20:47

Thanks everyone,

good to hear all your views. I like the idea of a book. I may make him a wee memory one for when he is older.

I know he wont remember the day out, but like i said before, the day is more for me and dh and the grandparents!

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 06/04/2010 21:00

Buy yourself a present. Well done you, a year ago you had a baby. You will appreciate it more.

ToastieLover · 06/04/2010 21:03

Oh, of course YANBU! All the outrage on here is laughable!

I made a huge fuss of DS's first birthday. Presents a-go-go, cake in the shape of a 1, endless video stream ... yadayada. What a waste of time and money that was - he liked the balloon and the badge best.

I made far less fuss of DD's first birthday. I can't remember what we got her - oh, yes I do. Some clothes. Some nice clothes, that were better than the hand-me-downs she gets as the 5th of 5 grandchildren. And a M&S cake that she merrily mushed up and threw over herself. I took some photos of that.

I enjoyed DD's far more.

Your day sounds lovely. Enjoy it x

Mouseface · 06/04/2010 21:08

Ellebing what a lovely idea! My DS is 1 in May and very lucky to be here due to a mound of health issues. A tree, yes, that's what we'll do to mark the big day!

ToastieLover · 06/04/2010 21:15

Oh, the tree reminds me: we did a time capsule for them both. Asked our friends around and they all put something (low value and silly, mainly) in a big chest for the children to open on their 18th brithday.

So I did make some fuss of DD's first birthday .

ElleBing · 06/04/2010 21:19

OMG a time capsule! I can't believe I haven't thought of doing one for LO yet!

ToastieLover · 06/04/2010 21:28

Yeah, it's one of my better ideas! Stolen from someone more creative, no doubt.

We specifically didn't want to make anyone feel they had to spend vast amounts of cash, so encouraged silly and low cost options. Examples were: an Argos catalogue, hair/fashion mags, download of charts, a computer/gadget mag, as well as some truly lovely stuff from those who took it far more seriously than we'd intended. Oh, a birth horoscope! Terrific idea, that was.

CrankyTwanky · 06/04/2010 21:30

I got DS a bowl for his first birthday. From Tesco. On the way home from work the night before.
He dosen't care!

The photos you take at the zoo will last forever though!(Hopefully!)

You wait 'till he's six and wants a console/hover-bike, whatever's in vougue.

mummytowillow · 06/04/2010 21:31

YANBU, I didn't buy my daughter a 1st birthday present either, she didn't know any different, but I did spoil her for her 2nd!!

pregnantpeppa · 06/04/2010 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kingbeat23 · 06/04/2010 21:50

It was my daughters 1st birthday last week and we bought her a token toy and a new outfit to wear on the day. Friends over to mine on the Friday before (which was Good Friday so people were off) which was held at the bequest of others and a family tea on her actual birthday.

When I told people I was buying her a token present colleagues told me I must buy her a big present for her birthday...what the heck for, them?? Is it them tidying up all the crap all day long...no???

My DD loved her pressies and tearing the paper, but most of enjoyed having her little friends playing with her and her family around her on the day....your DS will love his birthday and will not grow up mentally scarred for life if you do not bow down to the great toy god in the shops....

Happy birthday to him BTW..

Pozzled · 06/04/2010 22:01

YANBU as long as he has plenty of toys etc. We bought DD a few toys for her 1st b'day, but that was because she needed them (we didn't buy many at all before she was born, and she'd outgrown most of them). We also knew that she wouldn't be getting huge amounts from friends/relatives. If a young child has everything they need, why buy more? Especially when they don't know what is going on anyway.