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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to say 'Serves you f*cking right!'...

67 replies

PersonalClown · 06/04/2010 17:38

to my DP's father and his girlfriend??

She is being done for £18,000 in benefit fraud.
She was claiming HB, CTB and I think Incapacity whilst working and having DP's father living there.

And now they are on the phone bleating about how hard done by they are.
No more holidays to Florida, no more top of the range laptops and having to watch every penny.
My heart fucking bleeds!

And now they reckon that she will just be made bankrupt and everything will be hunkydory again.

I'm practically chewing my tongue off trying not to shout that They are partly the reason why Carer's are paid a pittance and there are more deserving people than them who NEED this money!

GGRRRRRR!! Rant over and breatheeeeeeeeeee.....

OP posts:

tethersend · 06/04/2010 21:31

I just think we are getting angry at the wrong people.

Benefit fraudsters, no matter how reprehensible, are not responsible for the difficulties we have making ends meet.

StrawberriesAndCherries · 06/04/2010 23:25

No of course they aren't, my point was we could all be into defrauding and breaking the law to make our lives easier - but we don't, precisely because IT IS the law and most people respect it otherwise what is the point of having them? And to see others seeming to get away with it makes us annoyed and offends our sense of justice. Rightly so.
So when they are eventually caught then justice is done.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 06/04/2010 23:45

I personally feel better to think that people aren't getting away with taking the piss out of a system set up to help those with genuine need. If the did (and many do) get away with it, and brag about it, it disheartens people who do play by the rules. I am a very fair person, and I hate things that are unfair- some people struggle with work and benefits while others just take what they can get, by immoral means

So I am glad they got caught. I'm not rubbing my hands with glee, rather just feel glad that justice has been done. I can't feel sympathy, as they surely knew the risks when they decided to claim fraudulently.

pigletmania · 06/04/2010 23:56

YANBU totally agree yes what goes round comes around. They totally deserve what they got.

LadyBrioche · 07/04/2010 00:06

God you are totally NBU

Great they have to pay it back...

But get this

Because they f8cked up out housing benefit, we have had this momths withdrawn....we get nada, so we are totally fucked.

Basically they over paid us, so they are claining it back this month, which means no housing benefit for us...which menas no rent.

Pisses me off that people such as the above mentioned get to pay it off £2 a week. |We'll be getting an eviction notice this time next month........Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

wastwinsetandpearls · 07/04/2010 00:06

I think it can be quite easy when you are quite comfortable to have sympathy for people who commit benefit fraud. I have always been one of those people. The thing is there are many more people living on a lot less who do the right thing and it pisses them off.

We have had a couple of very tough financial years as I said above and have struggled to pay off every single penny that we owe in order to do the right thing. I have been really pissed off to watch people around me deliberately run up bills they have no intention of paying off, claiming things they should not, fiddling the CSA, commiting fraud and mocking families like my own who just want to be honest. I am not normally a bitter or angry person but when life is difficult it is an easy trap to fall into.

MathsMadMummy · 07/04/2010 08:54

LadyBrioche, that really sucks! hope it can get sorted out somehow.

I think it's bad to tar all fraudsters with the same brush. There are some who are just doing what they can, even if it's immoral/illegal, to get a bit of extra cash to pay the bills and feed their kids. I wouldn't feel happy if they got caught. But there's a world of difference between them and the people mentioned in the OP who are using the money to buy holidays, laptops etc. Nobody needs a plasma TV!

wastwinsetandpearls · 07/04/2010 12:20

I agree mathsmad/

tethersend · 07/04/2010 12:41

I don't have sympathy for those who commit benefit fraud- each case should be judged on its merits, as MMM rightly points out- and although I am nearing comfortable now, I've not always been. My views on this remain the same.

I'm not suggesting those doing the right thing shouldn't be pissed off that they can't make ends meet, quite the opposite! They should be angry. It's just that getting angry with Mrs-so-and-so down the road who just got a new plasma and came back from Bognor suspiciously tanned is a waste of anger.

Where is the higher minimum wage and subsidised childcare to make working the better option? Where is the affordable housing so people can work and pay their own rent instead of relying on HB? People should be angry about this!

But no. The government knows these people are angry and actively devises 'benefit fraud' campaigns in order to deflect the anger from them and on to a neighbour down the road who is working on the side and buying some nice things. I can't believe people buy into it without even questioning the bigger picture.

Where is the government campaign encouraging those entitled to benefit to claim it? Billions go unclaimed every year- far more money than gets lost to benefit fraud.

This thread just mirrors the ethos of that benefit fraud campaign and it makes me feel decidedly queasy.

tethersend · 07/04/2010 12:42

And LadyBrioche, that is fucking terrible.

wastwinsetandpearls · 07/04/2010 12:58

I agree tether and I agree that the anger is a waste of emotion but it is quite natural.

tethersend · 07/04/2010 13:11

Oh, I'm not saying anger is a wasted emotion, wastwinset- anger is powerful and positive; just aim it at the right people!

tethersend · 07/04/2010 13:12

In other words, it is 'wasted anger' if not directed at the source/cause of the anger IYSWIM

wastwinsetandpearls · 07/04/2010 13:20

It is wasted in my case, being quite egocentric I am making this all about me

I spent years being angry with my parents for abusing me, then one day I just let it go. I am so much happier now not carrying it around. I also spent years angry with my ex husband for not helping me to support my dd properly and keep her safe. In a similar manner one day I just stopped being angry and said to myself you have to do this on your own and your energy needs to go into that not being angry with him. I now have a lovely life.

But yes I agree with you it is wasted if it is at the wrong person.

But then again I see nothing wrong with being angry with people who do things wrong, especially if they are not commiting benefit fraud out of desperation. Perhaps if we were publically angry to them they would feel some shame and not do it in the first place.

God I sound like a tory.

tethersend · 07/04/2010 13:22

Ooooer

wastwinsetandpearls · 07/04/2010 13:27

I don't know if it is age, attending Church of England services or moving down south. I hear myself saying things all the time that just do not sound like me.

tethersend · 07/04/2010 13:29

Get thee to a union, at once!

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