to expect there to be a service in between caring for my sick child at home or phoning for an ambulance?

[beesonmummyshead]

dd is 2.7. For 48 hours she has vomited everything she has eaten or drunk. She now has diarrhoea and is crying/sleeping a lot. I phoned my doctors to speak to the doctor as I'm worried about dehydration.

The duty doctor called back and after a couple of questions sid he'd like to see my dd to ensure she is not dehydrated and asked I take her to the surgery. I have no transport and am about 20 mins walk away, and besides dd is not well enough to be moved, so I requested a home visit. Doctor refused on the grounds that I should get a taxi. I have never had a home visit before btw.

My mum intervenes and complains. Doctor gets told to attend asap, which he does. He walks in, tells me to strip dd to her nappy (which she doesnt have as she is toilet trained) then pinches her toes, fingers and ribs, then, without asking her, tries to prise open her mouth . He doesn't check her for a rash, check her breathing or tell me how to treat her. He told me to bring her down to the surgery if she is the same tomorrow

TBH I am minded never to use the home visit service again . If dd stays the same, I can care for her, if she is worse I will call for an ambulance. Why is there no service available for worried mothers with small children who shouldn't be dragged across town to sit and wait to see a doctor?

but why would you tailor your manners and attitude depending on which discussion the topic is posted in? Manners are manners are they not? And people are people and therefore deserve a little bit of courtesy.

NHS walk in centres are great and I have often rang the out of hours doctors and been down there. With my 1st, she was ill and screaming/vomitting, I had no car and she screamed when I moved her. I had no clue what to do so asked for home visit. I had a home visit but the doctor told me off!! YANBU as there should be clearer guidelines and more 24 hr walk in centres and maybe help with transport if needed.

beesonhead you need bupa

'people are people and therefore deserve a little bit of courtesy.' - oh please - that would be why you've complained at length about the professionalism of the doctor who squeezed you in to their round today? Because he deserved a bit of courtesy too.

I don't think anybody has been particularly rude to you bees, but if you post in AIBU, then there will be people who come on and say the YABU.

who was rude? just read through and can't see???

Riven - I don't think BUPA do emergencies. They can hold your hand very nicely though I believe

Your GP asking about you getting to them isn't personal iykwim - they will ask everybody and if I was working in your practice I would probably ask you then put the phone down and clobber myself on the head because I would instantly remember and know you can't get there but it's hard to put all that info together when you're talking to someone at the same time.

no, i'm being sarcastic...sorry Riven. she seems to have been given good service (albeit brusquely as she percieves) - its virtually impossible to get home visits round here, unless you are extremely sick. i do hate it when the NHS gets a bashing when it's not deserved.

sorry your DD is under the weather, OP. However YABU - you were fortunate to have received a home visit in these circumstances.

pixie - I think you would have been fully justified in calling an ambulance, given your DD was so poorly, and needed care from your DH en route, sorry she had such a nasty attack.

Just to put a word in the GPs defence - I am a GP and had over 100 phone calls this morning. If I had had to leave the surgery to do a home visit, I may have been a bit stressed and grumpy too.... (though normally am not, I promise!). Sometimes you only need a quick look at a child to see if it is well or ill, which is probably what the GP this morning wanted. A visit can easily take 20 minutes ++

I haven't said anyone was rude. I was just a bit surprised by the way some posts were worded. Of course I expect a difference of opinion, hence why I posted in AIBU. If you look further up the post, you will see that I accepted quite a few differing opinions and accepted that perhaps I was being unreasonable.

I am not however going to name names and say who I thought was less than polite, because that would be rude.

And I really don't want to get involved in minor discussions about what I said, but apart from having a moan on here, I have not complained about the doctor.

and what exactly would you ahve complained about? that he wasnt blooming Dr Doug Ross?

So it's not rude to just make vague insinuations? Or rhetorical questions?

A fair proportion of Mumsnetters will either work for the NHS in some shape or form, or be regular users of the NHS (for themselves or DCs)...so I actually think many posters have been restrained and patient

I would have spent some time looking on the internet for the symptoms of dehydration etc. That way you could have assessed your child and then determined if you needed to speak to the doctor.

NHS24 are also there to give advice and I think it's a bit unreasonable to ask the doctor to give advice on the phone as no doubt you would have be (quite rightly) upset if he gave a wrong diagnosis.

When my DS has been sick like this I have always phoned NHS24 in the first instance.

tootles I really, really wish I had. Instead I looked on the internet to get the phone number for the doctors. We really don't use them that much, and dd has NEVER been serously ill so I admit I panicked a bit and phoned the doctor rather than NHS direct.

The info on my surgery website says "We will visit you at home if you are too ill to come to the surgery. If a doctor is asked to visit, please try to ring the surgery between 9.00 am and 10.30 am and please give some indication of the nature of the problem. Please come to the surgery if possible as home visits are time consuming and it is easier to carry out investigations and treatments at the surgery."

Please remember however I didn't request a home visit, I asked for advice, and then explained to the doctor I could not attend the surgery. I accept perhaps I should have, but I made a decision based on my daughter who was lethargic and throwing up/on the potty every 20 mins or so, and didn't think it was fair, or necessary to have her seen by a doctor, but if the doctor was insiting, that he could come to us.

In future I shall know. And I consider myself suitably told off

YABU
You could have walked

You say you asked for a home visit

Personally I really think it is beyond the remit of the NHS to help with transport (outside of emergencies and maybe some highlands and islands type stuff)

The point I think everyone is trying to make is that you could visit the surgery

it wasn't you with D&V it was your young child who could easily have been wrapped up and put in a buggy or taxi and taken to the surgery

easily

so the fact that you and your mother chose to do otherwise is your choice

it's just a choice most people would not make

pixie I never demanded a home visit, and as I had also said my mum wasn't with me, I had no idea she had complained until after the event. I didn't see the point in mentioning this earlier because the fact is the practice manager agreed and said that if a doctor wants to see a sick child who it would be difficult to move because of her illness then a home visit should be offered.

I asked for a home visit when the doctor wouldn't help me with how to assess my own daughter. I should have used NHS direct or the internet.

I agree with the poster who said that if NHS don't offer home visit, or there are restrictions on them then this should be clearly explained.

activate I do realise that. I have agreed that perhaps I was in the wrong. I made the mistake in reacting to a doctor who was unhelpful by being equally as unhelpful.