to expect there to be a service in between caring for my sick child at home or phoning for an ambulance?

[beesonmummyshead]

dd is 2.7. For 48 hours she has vomited everything she has eaten or drunk. She now has diarrhoea and is crying/sleeping a lot. I phoned my doctors to speak to the doctor as I'm worried about dehydration.

The duty doctor called back and after a couple of questions sid he'd like to see my dd to ensure she is not dehydrated and asked I take her to the surgery. I have no transport and am about 20 mins walk away, and besides dd is not well enough to be moved, so I requested a home visit. Doctor refused on the grounds that I should get a taxi. I have never had a home visit before btw.

My mum intervenes and complains. Doctor gets told to attend asap, which he does. He walks in, tells me to strip dd to her nappy (which she doesnt have as she is toilet trained) then pinches her toes, fingers and ribs, then, without asking her, tries to prise open her mouth . He doesn't check her for a rash, check her breathing or tell me how to treat her. He told me to bring her down to the surgery if she is the same tomorrow

TBH I am minded never to use the home visit service again . If dd stays the same, I can care for her, if she is worse I will call for an ambulance. Why is there no service available for worried mothers with small children who shouldn't be dragged across town to sit and wait to see a doctor?

I'm sorry your child is unwell and that the doctor wasn't as friendly as he might have been.

However, I do think we are INCREDIBLY lucky in this country - the film clip from Sport Relief where parents had walked for 3 DAYS with their child with malaria to get them to a hospital sticks in my mind - the child miraculously survived, but many don't. And I think we do get a bit precious about 'moving sick children' etc.

Having said that, (sorry), I really hope your child is better soon. It is really horrid when they are ill.

Sorry, but I still maintain that you would be wrong to call an ambulance if it was possible to take your dd to hospital in any other way. Because that might mean someone who is having a heart attack or choking has to wait their turn. Ambulances are for when you suddenly find yourself in a hurry because a situation cannot wait. Not for when you think it would be inconvenient to use a taxi.

And it's nothing to do with whether you have ever called an ambulance in the past: it's not the case that we all have a ration of ambulances visits that we can use for anything less than a dire emergency just because we've never called one in the past.

I repeat, a 30 minute journey to the hospital with toddler bundled onto your lap is not insurmountable. I've done similar things many times. Ambulances are for urgent cases.

Sorry, but I remember how awful it was when my FIL had a heart attack and we waited for the ambulance. If it had been delayed because someone didn't like to use a taxi for something less urgent, I would have been upset.

oh fair enough, actually, what you were after was advice rather than more 'care' as I assumed. No yanbu.

it is awful when they are that sick isn't it? dd (2.10) was in a very similar way last month and we were told to take her down to the out of hours dr at our local hospital. I was beside myself. She was checked over and we were sent home with a "keep an eye on her, keep her cool, try and give her fluids" - bedside manner was lovely and very reassuring and I think that's what is lacking here. Dr's are just people and some are nicer than others - hopefully your daughter will be fine and that's the main thing.

trinity I agree, I hadnt thought of it as an option until the doctor said he wanted to see dd, but I wasn't prepared to put her in a taxi in her state. When I say too ill to move I mean she cries when moved, is dressed in her jammies but cries when they have to be moved for her to wee etc, and has little to no control over her (waterlike) diarrhoea, as well as seemingly constant stomachache.

Lilybolero you are right. We are an incedibly lucky country.

lifeas3plus1 Tue 06-Apr-10 17:12:08

"As a side note, It's all very well saying "You should've got a taxi" but what happens if you don't have money for a taxi and don't drive?"

If you don't drive and have young children, it makes sense to have a secret drawer with the taxi money to the nearest hospital. You might as well say, 'what if you do drive but you haven't got the petrol?'. Noone would think a car driver excused from having to use their initiative.

I think the phone call went something like this

"Hi, I'd like some advice about my sick DD"
"No, you'll have to bring her in"
"That's not really an option, I'd just like to talk to the doctor please"
"No, not an option, bring her in"
etc

Correct me if I'm wrong OP

So the OP didn't desperately want the visit, she just wanted advice.

Hope your dd feels better soon, beesonmummy. It is hard when they're little and ill.

OP I hope your dd feels better soon

When my dd1 had a bug like this at a similar age I put her back in pull-ups for the first day or two as she got very distressed when she didn't make it to the bathroom in time.

I was lucky to have a few pull-ups left from before she was trained.

Would she tolerate wearing a pull-up now? It might give both of you a bit of a break.

cory I would never call an ambulance because I didn't want to get a taxi. NEVER. I really am not that kind of person. So sorry if I cam across like that. What I was trying to say (badly) is that I felt it was a shame that the doctor needed to see dd but would make no arrangements for it when I couldn't get to him (or perhaps wouldn't get to him is a better description).

However, if dd is ill enough for me to consider hospitalisation (and for me that would have to be extremely serious indeed) then I would call an ambulance, becuase just like not calling an ambulance if you don't need it, I would not take dd to A&E just because I didn't get the service I wanted at the doctors.

There is an unofficial half-way service, though.

It's called Mumsnet.

I'm not being flippant. If you had posted here listing your dd's symptoms and asking advice, withing minutes you would have had more information and support than you received from your dr.

stealth yes the conversation went a little like that, I asked how I would know when a child was very ill or dehydrated, as opposed to just fighting off a nasty bug. Doctor asked if she had a rash (no) or if she was pasing water (infrequently, every 4 hours or so, though she is going). Doctor said "I need to see her, she sounds like she could be dehydrated"

I asked how I could check and he insisted on seeing her. Then the palava ensued about getting a taxi to him etc.

prettycandles I wish I had!! and in future I certainly will before calling a health professional. I still think it is a shame tha our health service has come to this though

We are incredibly lucky in this country. My mum lives in Scotland and last night had to call NHS24,as both my brother and step dad had D&V bug . My brother is diabetic, and his blood sugars dropped very low. NHS24 immediately called out the on call doctor and an ambulance, which arrived first. he was on the verge of a diabetic coma by then. They were there for 3 hours trying to stabilise his blood sugars - and the doc turned up in the middle to treat him and my step dad, who was so dehydrated he was hallucinating. Stepdad is now in hospital, brother was taken in overnight and his blood sugars stabilised.

Hope your dd is better soon - in these circs i generally ring nhs direct then the nurse rings me back and advises blah blah or gets duty doc to ring who does same. I would be tempted to complain about the attitude and point out you did not ask for a call out but then if its your local practise and not the random nhs hotline i would be worried they might note me as a nast pasty for complaining and as im never out of my surgery id rather be known as a nice patient.

Ok I know i's a differnet scenario as both are adults, but I was trying to get the point across about how lucky we are to have an NHS like we did - in some countries they wouldn't have crossed the door without payment!

Hope DD is better soon. The NHS choices website is really good for advice about childhood ilnesses in future.

I am constantly dragging my vomiting child out as she is susceptible to illness - just wrap her in a blanket and take in the buggy with a bucket and some tissues

Sorry but if a child is really ill it is impractical to take them out of the house. My ds recently had really bad diarrhoea and it would have been horrific to take him anywhere. He was being hosed down about once every hour at one point. Our GP does alot of phone consultations as a prefernce but before I phoned them up I knew that if they wanted to see him they would have to come to me. As it happens our doctor just gave advice over the phone which is what I wanted.

In my case it had nothing to do with home comforts and a simple case of not wanting my ds to have to sit in a pool of poo for 30 mintues until I got home.

NHS direct, HV ? Sorry but I would n't have considered it an emergency warranting a home visit. Your lack of transport was an unfortunate coincidence.

was under the impression a dehydrated child was fairly serious

So the surgery is 20 minutes walk away-that's what 5 minutes drive?
YABU -nappy,bucket,tissues,blanket and 5 minute taxi ride.

but I didn't want to see the doctor! He wanted to see dd. I simply wanted advice

Had I been worried I would of course have taken her to the doctors. I wish I had phoned NHS direct. At least they would have been polite

oh and I don't have nappies.