to feel like SHITE because the DCs are going to have a SHITE school holiday!!

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

Am almost 6 months pregnant and SPD just started, DH works 12 hour days and is only off on weekends, we are moving on Saturday so still have ALL the packing to do (always do everything at the last minute!) and have no money left due to aforementioned move. The DCs are going to have such a shite time off school and I feel terrible because of it .

Normally we would have gone to stay with family but can't because of the above. Normally I would have done fun things with them like going for bike rides and for days out but can't because of the above (obviously can't ride while this pregnant and am very peed off about it!). Normally I would put them in some sporting activities but can't because of no money! We have no family nearby (nearest is two hours away and I can't stand them!) and we do not see the DSs (age 8) friends during the holidays as I have never really got friendly enough with the other mums to arrange something. DD is 13 and will not bugger off out to play with her mates and only wants to go on bloody facebook (apparently all her friends are staying at home on facebook too, no one is doing anything over the holidays ).

So they are going to be home most of the time glued to the TV/computer, eating chocolate and being pretty bored. Why, oh why do I feel so sorry for them and like I'm letting them down??

aw, course you're not letting them down. It's just circumstances.

Bumming about on the computer, watching tv and eating chocolate - what makes you think they won't enjoy that?

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Get on your local mn and find some helpers

Know how you feel. I am very pg, OH has MS so neither of us has any energy (or money) to do anything with the younger boys.

They are doing our heads in already and its not their fault!

So as well as the poor buggers being bored they have a grumpy mother snapping at them.

What can we do? Its not for ever and we can always make it up to them another time

You don't have to lay on entertainment for them! I would get the 13yo girl roped into helping you pack and the boys will just enjoy not being at school and make their own games.

Why can't you ride your bike? As long as you are careful getting on and off it's quite a good thing to do with SPD because the pelvis is supported. Much better than walking anyway. I rode my bike up to 39 weeks plus with dd3.Baby is well protected and you're no more likely to fall off than when you're not pregnant.

why don't you get them involved in the packing process? I did this with my DS1 when we moved and he loved it.

I would definately link internet time to amount of help given by 13 year old!

Don't feel so guilty. I had SPD in all my pregnancies too and when I was pregnant with DS3, DSs 1 & 2 were aged 2 and 4 and I felt incredibly guilty most of the time that I couldn't get out and about enough with them.

The fact is it's for a relatively short time and is all forgotten now.

Just do what it takes to get through the next couple of weeks. Your DC will be fine -no one ever died from boredom, they can help you if they need something to do! Give them boxes and packing tape and let them join in.

You will get there in the end, just keep going!

(We moved in December, was stressful but worth it, good luck )

Poor you... it's rubbish when you feel tired, have lots to do, are in pain & then of top of that feel you are letting the kids down - not to mention moving house as well!!

TBH I am suprised that your DH is letting you do all of this, this week!! He really should have been doing the packing while he was off work

So, you are moving Saturday - are the kids looking forward to it?

It goes without saying that they need to pack their own rooms up.

Then they need to help you pack the rest of the house.

Then maybe try to do fun things in the evenings - cook dinner together (make pizzas/lasagne etc) and watch a DVD, play a board game etc - spend time together.

& as others have said - if DD isn't too willing to be helpful, link 'Helping time' to 'Facebook time'.

That takes care of this week - next week they can help you with the unpacking! Sort their rooms out etc.

OH I also meant to say - some of my best memories of growing up were doing the 'normal things' in life - not just holidays/days out etc

I have great memories of moving house, 'helping' to decorate, 'helping' Dad to build the furniture for my room etc

Have lots of 'Tea & Biscuit' breaks

I had to be helpful at your DD's age - I did much of the housework, preparing tea, ironing etc - my Mum worked and I did stuff after school before she got in (bitched like mad about it at the time, but it didn't do me too much harm!!).

I don't really understand the current mindset that says children have to be entertained all the time or have to be involved in organised activities of some sort to be happy.

As someone who grew up in the 1970s I had to fit in with what my mum and dad did and, as they didn't have a lot of money, we rarely went on trips out or had holidays. As I never knew any different it didn't bother me in the slightest and I spent most of my time reading or making my own entertainment with my siblings or friends that lived nearby. I think it helped me a lot to learn how to entertain myself and ward off boredom - in adulthood life can be very boring and it is an important skill to learn how to deal with it and amuse yourself.

Surely your children will just be glad to be off school and spending time with you?

Get 13 year old to take 8 year old swimming or to the cinema a couple of times.

Get them both - but particularly the 13 year old-to help with the packing.

Get them both to cook dinner for everyone a couple of times.

Get them to bake a cake to eat one afternoon in front of a family film.

Send them out together on their bikes a couple of times.

Let therm both spend one entire day on the tv/computer eating chocolate.

Arrange ONE day out for all of you for near the end of the holidays that you can all look forweard to you as you pack yet another box.

Oh, and sit over 13 year old while sha actually rings a couple of her friends and talks to them in real time and arranges to go out one afternoon.

Ditto 8 year old - you don't have to know the parents - just get him to ring up and invite someone over. They can sit and play computer games together!Q

I'm still riding my bike and I'm 6 months - just check with your doctor that its okay for you personally.

I prefer sailing about on my bike to waddling about like a fat duck

Good luck with your move - the children will understand its a one-off.

Last Easter hols I was 7m pg with SPD, so ended up doing next to nothing. Nothing anyone says is going to make it better for you, but at least you can explain to your DC's why your limited.

The weather looks like its going to be shite to so its not just you who'll be stuck in.

It's a good lesson for your DCs about entertaining themselves...people who have everything scheduled for them all the time for every holiday end up not being able to figure out what to do when they have downtime. I think it will be great for them to be bored, and figure how to change that!

Packing, and labelling the boxes with contents.
Wrapping things up in newspaper.
Cooking stuff
Cleaning.
They can all do that if they're bored.

Don't feel guilty, in the holidays mine love to just slob out and do nothing in particular if they can, rather than the usual frenzy of school, homework and extras.

Sounds like a great holiday to me!

When I was a kid, we never went any where during school holidays. And had a great time in our own backyard.

Too much scheduling these days. Boredom leads to creativity!

good game for packing flat objects: a letter on each piece of newspaper to spell out (rude) words for unpacking. just give them lots of responsibility instead, will probably prefer that. order in some tester paint pots from dulux. v. cheap - lots of quiet time for you while they experiment on their bedroom walls. if you're moving some distance, get them to research the new area online and at libraries. if not, get them to think about plans like how to lay out a garden or balcony?

some things will get broke, some things will get messy, they will learn more, get more confident and feel more refreshed than some make-do pack 'em away activity.

at end of holiday, take them out or make in a special 'thank you for your grown up help' meal. tell them exactly what they were brilliant at and laugh with them at the problems you all encoutered.

now i'm kind of envying you tbh, could be a great family time if you switch your mindset about it!

Lots of great ideas here, particularly seeker's.

Remember that moving house is exciting for kids (however much ennui they seem to show about it, inside they are quite excited!) I still remember the excitement of when we moved house when I was 9! I particularly loved cleaning the grouting in the bathroom, believe it or not... And trying out tester pots on my walls and drawing plans for my new bedroom was so much fun! Make a list of things that need to be done each day, give them each the chance to choose whichever chore they want from that list, and then reward them with lots of cake and laughter. Let them choose whatever music they want, and put it on very loudly while they do it.

My then 21 month old helped unpack when we moved house just before Christmas - he unpacked his toys and books and put them away and also unpacked all the pans and baking stuff in the kitchen. Of course I had to redo most of it later, but it kept him quiet for 10 mins at a time while I did some of my own unpacking so it was worth it, and your older DCs shouldn't be quite so incompetent at working out where things should go! DS also has 'helped' with building furniture etc. by hanging out with daddy and being given pieces of wood to hold etc. My DH actually enjoyed doing the flatpack more with a little helper than he ever would have alone, even if it was slower - so it could actually be real bonding time with your DCs.

But yes, agree with everyone saying you should plan one big treat for the end of the holidays to thank them for their help and for them to look forward to.

Good luck with it all!

Thanks all. I feel better now! I have always been the sort of parent who feels that the DCs have to do exciting things and have fun all the time - drives DH mad.

He has not left me with the packing btw. I told him to leave it as I wanted to do it myself. Imagined myself pottering around doing it slowly for the last few weeks but have not found the motivation yet. It's only really clothes, books, photos and kitchen cupboard stuff that I will be doing. I will not be touching any furniture - DH and a mate will be doing that. The DCs have already got their stuff packed in boxes in their rooms. I just need to empty their wardrobes and drawers.

Re; the cycling, I read somewhere that apparently pregnant women's centre of gravity shifts as the bump grows and could make us fall off! But as others have continued, I will give it a try tomorrow as walking anywhere is not much fun what with the breathlessness and constant bloating!!

Very good ideas to try. I will get them making dinner later - only going to be sweet & sour chicken with rice from a jar so that should'nt be too hard. Will go to cinema tomorrow to see Nanny McPhee as can use Orange wednesday voucher so only pay for 3 of us! Just worked out that we should have enough money for a day trip to a London museum early next week after the move (we are an hour outside) and a day at the zoo or ice skating (not me!) at the end of next week when DH off so they can get excited about that and I can bribe them with it!!

Better get off my backside, get them off the Wii and chuck them outside in the sunshine (finally) on the trampoline .

Don't feel guilty it is just one school holiday. I am 39+2 and I can hardly walk at the moment, I don't plan to do hardly anything until the baby arrives. We will mainly stay at home and watch dvds and do crafty things. I feel a bit guilty but in the grand scheme of things it is no big deal it will be half term before we know it and hopefully we will have energy to get out and about then.

Where did this idea come from that we have to do stuff with our kids all of the time or else we're shite parents?

I spent my whole childhood being bored (although we were wheeled round stately homes at regular intervals). Gave us the incentive to make our own entertainment. Mind you, we didn't have the temptation of facebook or Wiis...

Agree with Clam, why do people put so much pressure on themselves re school hols. My DD has had a shite easter break, tonsilitus, bad weather, tired and cranky mother...thats just life sometimes. She is perfectly fine about it, and to my knowledge doesn't think i'm a shite mum. Give yourself a break!!

I don't think laying on entertainment for each day of the hols does DCs any favours at all tbh. In fact I think it's doing them a disservice - as clam says they need to learn to entertain themselves. There's nothing wrong with being bored sometimes anyway.

Think back to your own youth - did your DPs build an intricate itinerary for every waking hour of your holidays? Of course not!