To think 'judging' is not in and of itself an intrinsically 'bad thing'?

[Bigmouthstrikesagain]

I see so many threads where judgements are made by posters (whether asked for or not), about the actions or opinions of another and invariably someone will pipe up with 'how very dare you judge this person when you don't know them etc.'.

It irks me, not necessarily because I think the person/s who made the judgement is right, they may well be talking a load of arse, but merely that I value the right to make judgements and voice opinions. If they are wrong they can be disproved by reasoned arguement, sometimes there is no clear right and wrong.

Pussyfooting around blandly stating that it s wrong to judge the actions of others does not make the world a better place. I am pretty tolerant, but that does not prevent me from judging behaviours and opinions expressed around me, my husband is postively old testament in his ability to make cold hard judgements of others (all people who like classical music are nobs etc.!). Which is irritating and entertaining in equal measure but at least he isn't bland,he cares deeply about things, you can have a heated discussion with him. The people who make my heart sink are those whom profess to have no opinions 'i like all types of music' ...

So go on disagree with me - make my day!

Unfortunately, such is life. I accept free speech, no matter how distasteful it is for me, doesn't mean of course that I need to agree with them. Now that would be fucking weird - if we were all indoctrined with the same message!

Opinions are only that.

I like judging, it makes me feel better about myself

I think it is natural to judge, or to phrase it another way to make assumptions or 'first impressions'. It's how we interact with the world, we like to associate things with things we already know, it's easier and quicker that way. However, it is a problem when your judgements are unerring in the face of contradiction, or when you use blanket judgements to treat individuals a certain way before you know more about them.

Judging is often harmless, cathartic, and can be, not sure of the right word, but it can bring people together. But it can be damaging, hurtful and just inaccurate.

I say Judge, but be measured in your judgement

Judging is good - if it stops people hurting others in order to further their aims. I can't bear blandness of the "it's not for me to judge....when you're wrecking someone's life" variety. Sometimes we've all got to get off the fence and condemn something as wrong.

I actually want to shoot posters who wade in for example, on an infidelity thread, and tell other respondents off for "judging". I also cannot bear that phrase "walk a mile in her shoes"...

I'm also irritated when posters lay bare a load of personal information, ask for an opinion and then go off in a huff when anyone has the temerity to suggest they are being a tad unreasonable.

Golden mean, golden mean. No society could survive where no judgment took place, but otoh societies with very strict judging tend not to be terribly functional either.

This is funny 'cos i was going to post about judgeyness and i was going to make the point that many MNetters don't like being judged but are quite happy to judge toddlers who are newly discovering that it's difficult to control their feelings!! sometimes there's very little understanding given to their own DCs.

I wonder if the "supernanny" programme has anything to do with it?