To Even Think About A New Kitten?

[charley24]

Hello, don't post much but read everyday.

Our cat was killed on Wednesday, the day before his 1st birthday.

He was gorgeous and very much a part of our family.

We are all very sad and prone to bursting into tears, husband included.

He was killed by a car, left to die on the road (which I hope was instant), a neighbour found him and wrapped him up for us.

FIL identified him and put him in shed. Hubby was away that night and I wasn't sure what to do.

Had to tell DD's aged 10 and 5, our 10 year old distraught as he was 'her' cat and she has some issues and he was her little friend, she would spend hours with him, talking, playing etc.

This was made harder by the fact that the girls had bought gifts for his birthday.

Anyways we buried him on his birthday, we have made a patch and have placed some flowers, girls put in a letter and photos, all really distressing. We all keep having tears throughout these past few days, silly things can bring this on. Seeing a little paw print on the window, expecting him to circle round our feet in kitchen and of course no one coming in/out when we open door. It is difficult as our neighbour has a cat who looked just like him and he sits on their windowsill as our cat did. So you look and think it's our cat.

I feel the house is empty, We can't give our cat that love in the same way, so is it acceptable to take a new kitten ? Will this help us ? We know we can give a new kitten a nice home and lots of love.

I feel guilty like he was just a pet we could replace, but I wonder if a new pet can help the healing process for us all ?

I mentioned this to my eldest who seemed to brighten a little and asked if Figs (our cat) would mind, I said no as he would want her to be smiling again and not be sad.

Sorry if this makes no sense, I am usually a person of not many words and I have probably babbled....I blame the sadness - sorry !

AIBU To get a new kitten ?

I am scared of becoming so attached again and losing another, and of course the girls going through it too. I know death is part of life, but God it hurts !

Any pet owners comments really welcomed.

xxxx

Just wanted to add, the issue of the car driver is another issue I am dealing with. I was informed his injuries were severe, so I imagine the driving knew what he or she had done and drove off.

Perhaps this is part of my problem, I don't know if it was quick, if he lay for an hour in pain etc.

There is nothing I can do but hope that if the person did realise, they go to bed at night thinking of what they have done, and think about how they would feel if they had a loved pet, or if they could imagine telling a child.

I think the distraction of a kitten would certainly help - and maybe the sooner the better from your DDs' POV. Sorry about your cat - have been there, and know how horrible it is.

I am so sorry for you all. I know I will be in bits if mine dies.

YANBU at all and I would pop along to the local rescue place to see the staff there.

Our hamster died 8 days ago and the next day I was in the pet shop but it was too soon tbh for me and I am not getting another one now. If my cat died I would be looking to have a couple of kittens as soon as I could tbh.

Thank you Hassled, I go from feeling let's do it, to no, it's too soon but I would be thinking a few weeks/months away.

I just feel so down, I don't even know if he could have been saved ???

FIL was very brief (he cried too) and said it was him, blood from mouth and ears, no idea what the rest of hom was like, can't bar thinking about.

I have had pets in the past but never felt like this and now understand what people have gone thru, I never really overly sympathised other then saying I am sorry etc, I never imagined that if you give your heart to an animal it can feel like this.

I appreciate your post x

Get another cat ASAP. It will help you and the kids. Despite the pain it is the best thing you can do.
To reassure you most road traffic accidents cause instant death, you shouldn't torture yourself about that.

Thanks Fab, sorry to hear about your Hamster.

I am just looking online for any kittens who need a home, we just had a gem with figs, loved the girls, was almost human and hubby's alpha male in a mostly female household.

DD1 has said she would like one different, maybe a girl of a different colour, she said not a cat who looks like Figs, I guess so she can start afresh and think of her as a new pet and not a replacement x

Charley- he was probably untouched except for the blood from his head.

Sorry you have lost him and would second a new kitten helping the healing process.

Thanks Samvet, I know it's silly to think about the what if's and I should be thankful for the fact that I didn't have to see him in a bad way.

Our neighbours cat has been missing for months, so he could have been killed but they won't have the chance to bury him and say goodbye like we did. I think I just needed some advice from people who have lost pets/got another.

I hope I can love another cat the way we loved him x

SO sorry about your cat.
I know nothing can stop you missing and grieving for him but the other posters are right I think, a new kitten would at least be a distraction.
You're not replacing him, you just have enough love in your home for another cat.

Thanks Different, thats what I tell myself, my neighbour who found him said that he probably died from the shock, which maybe would make sense that he didn't look bad.

FIL told us not to look, but maybe that was more for our feelings, to see him dead.

Thanks for your post x

Oh you can love another cat the same way. My wonderful old cat had to be put down, aged 17, a few years ago and I never thought there'd be a cat as great. But there is - new boy is as mad as a box of frogs, but lovely .

thanks arse, I think I am just looking for reassurance that it is ok to go ahead and we don't seem unthoughtful, or that he was easily replaced by another kitten.

Get another kitty asap - all those feelings of loss and pain ( I know I've lost 2 old friends in the past) can be transformed into love for your new pet.Time does help of course with the grieving but this will give you a new happy focus.Good luck xx

I lost a cat, probably through eating a poisoned mouse, and it took me 2 years to get another one.

Then the next one died of natural causes on the first May Bank Hol, and we had a new one by the second May BH.

I felt just as bad about both cats, wept just the same. But I now know I wouldn't be without a cat for any length of time above a month or two.

It's pointless to wait - you've got a cat (or possibly 2 cat) sized hole in your home now, and you need to repair it. You're never going to forget this one, I can assure you, whether you get a new one now or 2 years down the line.

Really sorry about your poor cat.

Absolutely go for it!!! Figs would want you to give another pussy cat the loving home had enjoyed with you. My dog died many years ago and although I wasn't keen initially, we got another soon after and it was the best thing we could have done. It is not a replacement of the pet you had, they are all individual and it is just another chapter in your life, we still talk about our last dog most days and she died over 7 years ago!!If you feel ready then I would definately recommend it, good luck!!!

I've never felt like I've replaced a cat who has died. I've lost Ebony and Paris to cars and we've only ever added a new cat to the family- never replaced the former occupant.

If you are all up for it, then do it. When our beloved old cat died at almost 20 years old, we decided that we weren't ready for a new one and never have had another one. We have had an array of small pets since though!

I really think that Figs would have been killed instantly, cars are such big, powerful objects and when they come into contact with cats and dogs, they are lethal. It is also entirely possible that the driver did not realise. My Dh once killed a cat on a dual carriageway. He only knew about it because he saw it in his rearview mirror. He turned off the road and went round again to try to help, but in those few minutes the cat had died and because of the location of the road, ( No houses within 500 yards) he had no way of knowing where it had come from. all he could do was to lay it on the grass at the side of the road and hope that the owners would find it. Of course, it may have been feral and had no owners.

for you and your family. We have lost a much loved pet in the last few days and it is hard, even when you are all adults!

So sorry about your poor cat. There are so many cats in resuce centres needing new homes, and you have a loving home for a cat so getting a new one seems the right thing today. Your new cat will be different from the old one, and have new character traits, so won't be replacing, but I'm sure you'll come to love the new one in the same way. I recently rehomed an 11 year old girl cat who's had trouble being rehomed due to her age, she's absolutely lovely and such a joy to have around!

Hi Charley, had exactly same happen to us 2.5 wks ago... our gorgeous little cat was hit by a car, found by a neighbour & taken to the vets... who put her to sleep before I managed to track her down

DD particularly devastated & we wondered whether we could bear getting another one, only for the same thing to possibly happen. We buried the cat with pictures & poems, planted pretty flowers on her grave & bought a plaque with her name/picture on it. We still have random tears now.

But, we decided that we will definitely have another cat and have chosen a kitten who will be ready to leave her mother in a few weeks time. We've also decided that the cat flap will be locked at night to minimise the risk of being hit by a car at night. Can't wait to bring our kitten home now... am so missing having a cat around the house. Definitely get another one...

People who love cats should have cats. Especially when so many of them are in need of a loving home.

Fluffy grew up with me. Even the vet bawled when she died at 17.

Malibu and Todge were my college cats and would sit on my books when I was trying to study.

Tiggi and Blosom were rescue cats and terrorized the mouse population.

Sushi and Pixie were the city cats who toyed with the idea of chasing and catching cars.

My brother is leaving the country and we are about to adopt his cat Billy. No cat was ever a replacement for another and they all had great lives. Go to the rescue center and let your next furry friend adopt you. And don't torture yourself about Fig. A quick car death is less trauma than an illness or poisoning.

[sad so sorry about your cat x

my dog was run down by a motorbike when i was 11yrs old , it broke my heart as he was my best friend used to walk up to the top of our road to meet me coming home from school . when he died i stopped eating for three days & my parents were so worried they bought me a pup , well it really was the best thing to do , so i say yes get another kitten as soon as you are ready , it will help to heal all of you , figs will never be forgotten xxx

Hello, thank you all so much, you have given me the courage to start looking for a new kitten.

I really appreciate that you have told your stories and helped me see that a new pet isn't a replacement, it is giving love to another kitten and remembering Figs (His name was Figaro - he looked just like Gepeto's cat in pinocchio).

You have really brightened my spirits xxxxx

Charley, so sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved cat. Just wanted to add my agreement that getting another kitten will probably really help to distract you all from the death of Figs. There are so many unwanted cats around that it is only kind to give a home to one if you can do.

One thing I would say, though, is that a lot of cat experts recommend that you get two kittens rather than one. This is because they keep each other occupied and out of trouble and having a second kitten is hardly any extra work. Plus it might be nice for your DDs to have a kitten each that they can love and care for. Personally, I would always have two cats just because my two are such a comfort to one another when they are stressed (such as on a visit to the vets) or when they are left alone or we go on holiday.

Good luck whatever you decide to do. I'm sure any cat you take in will be very lucky to have such a loving home.

Charley, so sorry to hear about your cat. Your story has actually had me close to tears because we had a cat called Mr Figs (figaro) after the cat in pinnochio too . We think he was hit by a car too. He went missing and we heard about a week later from a local farmer that his son had found a black and White cat on the road and had buried him. We didn't even live that close to the road but we think the farmers son must have been feeding him too which was why he was visiting it was awful. He was such a character. He would fall asleep with his head in my dad's shoe!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Two kittens sounds good but if you live near a road I would keep them in until they are a bit older. A girl in my class lost both of hers together on the road because they were chasing each other . In fact I think if you live beside s busy road cats are much better being kept indoors or only allowed out in the garden with you. One of our current cats Sophie had to go from being a country cat to an indoor cat for a few years while we lived in the city and she was fine with it. She lives it outdoors now but she really didn't mind the indoor life either.

Hello again

We have had 2 kittens before (years ago) but are just going to get one, there are cats everywhere in our neighbourhood and we found it easier to manage with one, and there is usually one of us in until 9am and after 3pm. We plan to take a week off however to settle our new kitty in.

We are going to visit some kittens today, all black and they are keeping a boy for us. Sophie (DD) has just been outside to tell Figs and she made a paste egg of him yesterday, complete with wings ! So she put it on his grave. It's actually helping her to be able to say hello and I had a chat with him when I put the washing out.

So, the kittens will be ready in 4 weeks and that will give us time to prepare for new paws, and feel like it wasn't too soon after his death.

I am so sorry to hear about the deaths of all your pets, especially those who have died in similar circumstances, but we feel very blessed to have had Figs for almost a year. Bubble, ah you know quite often people didn't realise where the name came from ! I remember when we went to Disney last year and DD1 told Gepetto about him. He was almost a Felix....but I got my way, and it suited him. I think this post has done me the world of good !

Will let you know how we get on, and thank you once again xxx