To Even Think About A New Kitten?

[charley24]

Hello, don't post much but read everyday.

Our cat was killed on Wednesday, the day before his 1st birthday.

He was gorgeous and very much a part of our family.

We are all very sad and prone to bursting into tears, husband included.

He was killed by a car, left to die on the road (which I hope was instant), a neighbour found him and wrapped him up for us.

FIL identified him and put him in shed. Hubby was away that night and I wasn't sure what to do.

Had to tell DD's aged 10 and 5, our 10 year old distraught as he was 'her' cat and she has some issues and he was her little friend, she would spend hours with him, talking, playing etc.

This was made harder by the fact that the girls had bought gifts for his birthday.

Anyways we buried him on his birthday, we have made a patch and have placed some flowers, girls put in a letter and photos, all really distressing. We all keep having tears throughout these past few days, silly things can bring this on. Seeing a little paw print on the window, expecting him to circle round our feet in kitchen and of course no one coming in/out when we open door. It is difficult as our neighbour has a cat who looked just like him and he sits on their windowsill as our cat did. So you look and think it's our cat.

I feel the house is empty, We can't give our cat that love in the same way, so is it acceptable to take a new kitten ? Will this help us ? We know we can give a new kitten a nice home and lots of love.

I feel guilty like he was just a pet we could replace, but I wonder if a new pet can help the healing process for us all ?

I mentioned this to my eldest who seemed to brighten a little and asked if Figs (our cat) would mind, I said no as he would want her to be smiling again and not be sad.

Sorry if this makes no sense, I am usually a person of not many words and I have probably babbled....I blame the sadness - sorry !

AIBU To get a new kitten ?

I am scared of becoming so attached again and losing another, and of course the girls going through it too. I know death is part of life, but God it hurts !

Any pet owners comments really welcomed.

xxxx

Hi Trouble, sorry to hear about your kittem too

Sophie feels happy one moment, sad the next, she wants to have Figs back but understands she can't, she was hysterical when told as she had been chattering about his birthday all week.

She has brightened up a little, and didn't cry herself to sleep last night, she said she wants to see the new kittens and maybe one will chose her (as opposed to her choosing one) I think that's important so she feels she isn't betraying Figs by 'picking' so I am hoping one will waddle over !

We have managed not to cry so far which is good and feel a little better, time is a great healer so they say.

The focus is shifted a little to thinking of names for our new kitten rather than being sad all of the time.

My 5 year old cried but was never as close as Sophie was to Figs, she seems ok about things.

Thanksx

I meant cry today !
We have done nothing but for 3 days !
So it's nice to talk about him without welling up x

Charley - so sorry to hear about your cat. I lost one at 8 months 3 years ago and can relate to the distress and grief as we all felt it too.

I would echo keeping a new cat indoors and adapting them to life inside - we had to do it with the other cat (she was sister of the one we lost) and she adjusted very quickly. Now we are in a flat with a balcony and she is happy with access to that (there is a mesh barrier to stop her going over the edge).

Just allow yourselves to feel sad for as long as you need to. I can still raise a tear for my beloved Spike three years on (I still feel he was robbed of the lovely life he should have had).

Also remember that some cats spend an entire lifetime never knowing even a quarter of the love and affection your cat had in his time with you. He may have had too short a life but that life was a good one and also he would have died instantly. Like you I went through the "did he lie injured in the road" but thye vet said that cats who die from road accidents do so instantly.

Look after yourself and a very un MN ((((((HUG)))))))))))))

So sorry Charley and for you poor dd's. And they had presents for his birthday too...? That's so like my dc are with our beloved cat. They do things like that too. We'd be distraught to lose him; he's only 7 mths but we all adore him.

I would definately say yes to another if you feel able. When you feel ready. I guess you do need time to come to terms with the loss of your dear cat and only you will know how soon to proceed with another

I would generally say that having a new kitten in the winter months keeps them indoors longer and they may not be inclined to be so adventurous when it comes to going out when they're older.

But of course it's only just Spring - in your situation I'm not sure I would want to wait until the Autumn/Winter for another.

Sorry for everyone who has lost a lovely cat on this thread

You are all so kind

Jolly, he was SPOILT ! with cuddles and strokes and brushes ! Lot's of yummy food, he ruled the roost !

So yes, I would ather he had a year of happiness x

Bendy, yes, they had bought gifts and made him cards, even MIL had bought him a gift, he had the sam at Xmas with his own stocking.

We have put the gifs away, perhaps for our new fluffy friend.

Off to meet him soon, I do hope he comes to us and then we will feel he wants to come home with us, he won't be ready to leave his mum for another 4 weeks tho.

With regard to the keeping inside, I have had cats before who weren't bothered, but Figs wanted advanture and spent many nights on the tiles and then slept in the day. He loved to chase or get up to trouble ! I couldn't have kept him in if I tried ! But the new cat if they wanted to go out wouldn't until winter, in which case would realise that it was blooming cold and probably stay in !

Figs was 'done' at the right time for boys, and he never went far, only round our street and gardens. We live on a road with speedbumps and most people are doing 20mph - but some ignore the bumps and go too fast !

I will post about what happens later and thank you for following this thread x

Sorry about your Figs, but in the cat world the good DO seem to die young. At least he did have a full adventuous life, and I'm sure it would have been very quick from your description. I've lost 2 cats in similar circumstances, so I know the pain. We've gone from 3 cats to none. I'd love another cat, but we have very small dc and our first attempt at adoption didn't go well- poor cat was terrified and stressed, so had to go back, and our second was going great- until her real owners reclaimed her 2wks later . I am of the opinion however that a cat comes to you when the time is right (as all my others did!) and as I work as a vet, there is plenty scope for a needy case to fall into our lives!

But I also love the idea of a kitten, especially as I think it might tolerate the kids better! It will be exciting for you and your kids to choose one- let us know how you go!

Oh bless you I am so sorry
We have a 1.6 yr old boy who we adore and who bring so much into our life - we had forgotten what cats were like. We had them before we had dd and then once she was a baby they became less important to us. Now she is involved and inlove etc we just get so much from him.
DD said to me a while ago about how she woudn't be able to cope without him and we already agreed that we will get another kitten straight off if something happened. He'd leave such a hole otherwise.
He was an older kitten when we got him, a rescue and he is such a card!
The only thing I would say about 2 is that myself, my mum and sister have all got 2 kittens together in the past and mum and I both really regretted it. They were hilarious to watch but never quite so into us.

Only read a few posts.

I would say do get another. Doesn't mean you didn't care and really helps imho.

We have always grown up with cats and have been in this experience several times. A new cat has always helped - doesn't mean you aren't sad about the one you lost but you can 9and will) become attached to another one and give it a lovely home.

Good luck whatever you decide...

to hear about your cat.
we have lost one too it was about 2 years ago when our neighbour found him in the road. he looked asleep, i drove him to the vets (god knows how!) but he had already gone.
anyway my DD talks about him and still includes him in family pictures which she draws. we have his brother (hes 13 now) and i love the way DCs help to look after him.

i couldnt imagine being without a cat and hope you find a new kitten soon.

Thanks for your posts

QOD, i totally understand, when we had 2 many years ago they were fine together but we never really bonded, also they would play fight a lot, usually at 2am and they weren't as placid as Figs was.

Anyways I am back and met a lil ball of Fluff ! He is black with a little white mark for an eyebrow and has lovely blue eyes (as he is still young), he is 4.5 weeks so it will be a lil while before he is ready to leave his gorgeous mum.

There were 5 and all were stunning, but he seemed to wander to us and nuzzle, so that was that, DD1 smiled for the first time in days and it made me so happy to see that.

He is named already as Leo (We thought in tribute to Figaro we would have an 'o' ending name and also as the fish from Pinocchio is named Cleo.....Leo seemed fitting.

I really want to say what a tremendous support all your posts have been, and how much I have appreciated you all taking the time to post.

I read mumsnet daily and don't often post, but now realise that I should post more often as sometimes another persons advice can be so helpful.

Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chuffed to see you got your kitten!

No YNBU, & speaking from recent experience, as disloyal as it feels to you right now, it will be good for you all.

Our Cat died 3 days before Xmas, she was 20 so it wasn't a shock like yours, but still hard to bea, & as DD(7) said, "I just can't imagine life without her, shes been here all of my life", We were all heartbroken but the house was so empty without a Cat, & DD also had issues & our Cat was a big comfort to her, & it been Xmas etc, it was awful....long story short, we did a friend a favour & took in his too Kittens whilst he was away over Xmas, which salvaged Xmas as they were such fun & put a smile on DDs face again, which made us all feel better.

& then as soon as they'd gone, I started looking at Cat Santuaries, wasn't as easy a I'd thought, lots won't home with Kids or near roads, but looking for a new one, & reading the sob stories of some pf those poor Cats took my mind of my grief,

we ended up adopting a 1yr old from the Cats Protection League at the end of Jan........ & she is really great, she wont ever replace our old Cat, she is VERY different in her ways, but shes part of the family already....& the first night she was here, she climbed up DDs high sleeper ladder....something our ancient old Cat could never do.......so you can imagine DD was thrilled when she curled up right next to her & claimed that spot as her bed.........

Honestly, do it.... you've a great home to offer some Cat who needs one, if you have a CPL near you, I found them to be great.

Whoops, that will teach me to read to the end......
Glad to read you've chosen one already....you won't regret it, mines trying to see whats going on with the key board as I type ...good luck

oh charley thats great news that you have found one - or he's found you???

as you said the smile on DDs face said it all

he sounds gorgeous, i am very