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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not really want to give my toddler a cup of tea?

92 replies

goandshowdaddy · 02/04/2010 18:08

My MIL is always asking me whether I've given my DS (22 months old) a cup of tea yet. I haven't and don't really feel the need to!

AIBU to not give him a cuppa every once in a while? I'm not really sure why I don't want to - don't have any hard facts about whether it's good or bad for him but just don't feel like he's missing out by not having it.

MIL says she used to be given tea with a bit of sugar in it to make it taste nicer...

OP posts:
mitochondria · 02/04/2010 19:07

My boys both have tea and have done since they were toddlers. Proper tea, not decaff, but very weak and milky.

And not in a bottle, as that seems to be important.

There have been threads on this before and the general consensus has been you can't give small children tea!

I don't see a problem with it.

Mine have been known to have coffee too.

OTTMummA · 02/04/2010 19:13

me and DS drink weak tea most mornings, usually tepid/cold as thats how ive always liked it.
DS has a lot of iron rich foods so i don't think its a problem, and again i only dip the tea bag twice in his cup. - he also asked for it regularly for the last 3 months or so.
If he hadn't asked i wouldn't of given it too him.

If he isn't interested theres not point really.

diddl · 02/04/2010 19:13

It does seem an odd thing for MIL to be concerned about.

Actually, I could see my MIL fussing about this.

Adults having a cup of tea-what to do about the children?

Simple-they wanted to be off & paying, not stuck with the old folk!

NonnoMum · 02/04/2010 19:20

NOOO! YANBU. We are not in Ireland in the 1960s...

mangoandlime · 02/04/2010 19:22

I've never offered tea. The absorption of iron thing has always put me off. I don't think a lack of a Japanese tea ceremony has hindered my DCs in life up to now.

diddl · 02/04/2010 19:25

I didn´t know about the iron thing, but have also seen tea as a drink for adults.

mangoandlime · 02/04/2010 19:25

OTTMummA...you drink cold tea?! Each to their own I suppose! I'm a leave the teabag in girl, builder's tea for me.

littleoldme · 02/04/2010 19:28

My ds loves havinga cup of tea. i give him Rooibos which he likes to have while Dh and I have our PG tips.

he only has it when he asks for though.

YouCantTeuchThis · 02/04/2010 19:32

I just don't get it! Would you offer him brandy or whisky if she suggested it? My nana used to put a drop of one or the other in the night-time bottles when the babies were teething...

OTTMummA · 02/04/2010 19:34

lol, mangoandlime - i only have strong tea when im ill or got the shivers.
I do love hot black coffee though

ABetaDad · 02/04/2010 19:39

DS1 has liked a milky cup of tea from age 1. It was baby led by the way. He really wanted and liked it.

Moominfamily · 02/04/2010 19:55

YANBU to not give your toddler tea if he has shown no interest in it.
My ds was obsessed with tea, I let him have cups as a toddler which were a quarter tea and the remainder milk, he refused to drink milk at all so it was the only way to get him to drink any (I have now weaned him on to milk but he still has a cuppa at my sisters house!)
DD on the other hand has no interest in tea and likes milk, so I see no reason to give her any tea.
It won't do your ds any harm if you do decide to give him tea- I did my research as I was worried about my ds having it (in fact a study by HV's showed drinking tea was beneficial to toddlers from deprived backgrounds, as they often received juice rather than milk, so milky tea was a good source of calcium, and they had better teeth than their peers).

But if you don't want to give him it, and he doesn't shown any interest in having it, don't give him some just for your MIL's sake!

GoldenSnitch · 02/04/2010 19:56

SusieCarmichael is right, tea is disgusting. It's the smell that does it for me - yuk!

Would still never give it to DS though because of the iron absorption thing. Children grow fast and need all the iron they can get to make new blood and tissues.

CrankyTwanky · 02/04/2010 20:11

Lordy yanbu. Your son etc. Caffine consumption is an issue.
However, I give my 2yo tea. (well, milk with a teeny dash from the pot.) He loves the ritual, which is kinda the point of tea.

Squitten · 02/04/2010 20:16

Seems to be a generational thing. My grandparents were on at me to give DS tea when he was only starting weaning. My gran gave him some soaked into a biscuit and then a few spoonfuls from her cup. FWIW, he seemed to enjoy it!

I have never given him tea and wouldn't think to TBH.

babyOcho · 02/04/2010 20:21

I dont give DD juice, even watered down either. She's 2 and I dont see the point.

Original poster
goandshowdaddy · 02/04/2010 20:24

You're all right! OK, he's not asked for it or shown any interest in it other than pointing at our cups and saying 'tea!', so he won't be getting any just yet. Unless MIL gives him some, of course...

OP posts:
sheas · 02/04/2010 20:25

My DS loved tea and coffee when he was a toddler but prefers hot chocolate now!!Don't see any problem with giving him some tea if he wants it but if not why bother???

MadamDeathstare · 02/04/2010 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

groundhogs · 02/04/2010 20:38

Why would anyone in their right mind feed a child a stimulant? How can some of you not see any problem????

FFS, better to get them dosed up on FruitShoot - at least that's just sugar, and not an addictive substance in Cola, Coffee or flaming TEA...

Decaf defeats the object, why get the DC hooked on the taste??? Why even go there?

OP, if she says it again, snap back with "Don't be so bloody DAFT!".

groundhogs · 02/04/2010 20:38
Bensmum76 · 02/04/2010 20:43

My mum mentioned giving tea to my 2.6 year old a few months back and I just looked at her with a look on my face. I don't drink tea or coffee, or even juice so would never think to offer anything other than water to my DS. I hope to keep it that way for a good while yet

minouminou · 02/04/2010 20:48

DS (3.5) has some cooled rooibos tea with lots of soya milk in every now and then. He asks for it occasionally "Robot tea", as he calls it.
It doesn't have any caffeine, and is v low in tannins.
Mostly, though, he's happy with milk, fruit juice and water. He has the rooibos out of curiosity, I think.
If you don't want to give your DS tea, just don't....tell your MIL it's not recommended now.
Dunno what the big deal is, either - just some kind of tradition, I guess.

wukter · 02/04/2010 20:59

Sing "Nooo Nana, tea is only for BIG boys, isn't that right DS?", he's not asking for it so what would he gain by it.
(Say that when DS is not actually listening).
Though I don't see the harm in it for children occasionally.

Monty100 · 02/04/2010 21:07

I'm a tea drinker but I never gave it to dcs. Don't really know why, probably the idea of caffeine. Anyway, they're in their mid teens now and still don't drink it, or coffee, their choice. Dd had a cup of Earl Grey today as an experiment but she was a bit meh about it. (I don't drink Earl Grey, I drink workmen's proper tea lol).

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