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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I already am catering for everyone ...

37 replies

WorzselMummage · 01/04/2010 18:17

We're getting married soon and are having a small family ceremony in a local museum then a big knees up with an Indian buffet afterwards.

My brother in law first complained that his gran wouldn't he able to eat it as it round be to salty and is now repetedly asking what we're dong for the children.

Aibu to expect that everyone from 1up can eat indian food. We are having 3 curries and plain and pilau rice with lots of finger type food.. Nothing my kids won't eat.

OP posts:
waitingforbedtime · 01/04/2010 18:20

Tell them to get a grip. Ds wouldnt eat that as he is fussy but tbh Id prob just take him a snack I certainly wouldnt think you should cater for him!!

YANBU

Sparkletastic · 01/04/2010 18:24

YANBU - as long as there are mild options and rice then everyone can tuck in or shut up. Sounds lush to me

going · 01/04/2010 18:25

Sounds really lovely.

It's only one meal, if people don't think they can eat it they can bring there own packed dinner!

DilysPrice · 01/04/2010 18:26

Depends on how many kids you've got coming and how many elderly non-Indian relatives. Despite my best efforts DD remains incredibly sensitive to anything remotely spiced - drives me up the wall, but it's not something she does on purpose.

So I'd say YABU, unless you make sure that there is at least one completely spice free option - once you've done that you can relax and everyone can have a nice time.

Pozzled · 01/04/2010 18:26

If you were doing a sit-down meal there would probably only be one option and they'd have to like it or lump it- that's how it was with my wedding! So YANBU. If there are very young kids, I would expect the parents to bring plenty of snacks to keep them going anyway, as they know what they will eat.

MadameDefarge · 01/04/2010 18:27

hm. I have to say i would love it, but I think there is also a fair point to be made. Indian food isn't everybodie's cup of tea, and if children have not been exposed to it, then its unlikely they will want to try, or enjoy it.

Perhaps if one of your curries was very mild, like a korma or a kashmiri chicken, that would be ok.

I would personally offer the kids a selection of pizza slices or something, because hungry, grumpy kids would be such a pain.

This is just a pragmatic idea. Obviously serve what you want, but do understand not everyone will enjoy it.

maduggar · 01/04/2010 18:31

I cant eat any spicy food at all, and 2 of my children cant either. I think though, as long as I was told in advance that this was the food on offer, id arrange soemthing else for us, or decline, rather than hound the hosting couple about alternatives!

maduggar · 01/04/2010 18:31

Or id make do with rice and non-spicy side dishes!

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 01/04/2010 18:32

TBH I think what you are serving is fine. If the guests know about it and think that their children wont eat it, how hard is it to throw a few sandwiches in their handbag and a few apples? The children can try it, if they like it then fine all good, exposure to new foods yadda yadda, and if not, whip out the sangers! Job done!

BessieBoots · 01/04/2010 18:34

YANBU at all. As someone else said, if it was a traditional 3-course menu, you'd be expected to eat what you were given.

My (fussy!) DSs love curry, by the way.

Sounds like a great idea for a wedding. Enjoy

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 01/04/2010 18:35

We are doing a korma so even the spice haters will be catered for and it's only 5 to 11 anyway so no-ones going to waste away of they don't eat it.

I'm througherly pissed off with him.

We were fed christmas dinner at his wedding (in October) it wasn't my cup of tea at all but I'd never have dreamed of complaining about it to his face.

OP posts:
Staggers · 01/04/2010 18:36

Little dcs have so many different preferences that you would probably bring your own anyway. When I do big catered parties I head for the bread and butter and otherwise expect them to eat nothing. (I would love mine to be an Indian food eater; it is a very healthy option.

Your kids might be indian food and i have no arg at all about its health benefits. But mine, and those of people I know, would turn their noses up. Congratulate y'self on yr
sophisticated child diet, but I tried, and I couldn't.

(well done you)

googietheegg · 01/04/2010 18:37

You can't please everyone!

salbysea · 01/04/2010 18:37

IMO you should provide alternatives for veggies, vegans, pregnant people, and people with religious or medical diets like coeliacs. NOT fussy eaters.

If my kid was going though a fussy phase and I was taking him to a wedding I'd have some minky moons and fruit or something in my purse for him. As long as the food doesn't have anything that children really CANT eat in it I wouldnt expect anything different. In fact I'd be glad he was getting 'real' food and not bloomin chicken nuggets and fruit shoots

Lonnie · 01/04/2010 18:38

Hm let me think

Indian am I right in assuming there will be

nan bread?

onion bhajis?

rice?

poppadums??

a creamy mild curry?

ohh lets see my utter fuzzy 6 year old (whom didnt read any of the weaing books that said babylead weaning leads to a less fussy child) would bemunching away in heaven..

for my wedding we had smoked salmon for starters no one asked what the kids or the eldery relatives were to eat.

YNBU nope your brother however sounds like he is about to bring up an over indulged child

janeite · 01/04/2010 18:40

I wuld have thought that if you had some cherry tomatoes, cucumber etc then that and plain rice would be fine for any non-curry-eating children. They also tend to like the breads and poppodoms.

I am v lucky because my two love curry and always have done but as a veggie, i'd want to know that there was a decent veggie option!

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 01/04/2010 18:43

All of the above lonnie and more

I am already catering for nut alergy and veggie, I think my head'll explode if I try tobtake fussy people in to consideration too.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 01/04/2010 18:48

I think before saying that was fine we need to know what the actual menu is.

For all we know, OP and her DF love a good vindaloo, and can't imagine anyone else not loving it.

I think there is some discretion to be used when inviting people to a party of whatever sort you are throwing, providing food you think they will enjoy is one of your duties as a good host.

I personally would have been somewhat put out if I had arrived at a wedding (presumably having travelled however many miles with a child) to find there was nothing that my ds could eat. Yes. He was a "fussy" eater, but disapproval of fussiness (later diagnosed as dspraxia) would not make him eat anything like curry in a strange environment.

And I'll be buggered if I have to take sandwiches to a wedding to feed someone who is invited in their own right. Small kids can manage with snacks and stuff, but older children its a bit mean.

OP is catering for everyone who likes curry and the trimmings. Not for anyone else.

salbysea · 01/04/2010 18:49

we had "oooo I don't eat lamb", fine, then you can have the veggie option, which they picked at as if it was turds dips in cement (was very nice BTW, had it myself and the veggies were very happy with it) - no point trying to cater for fussy eaters as your carefully thought out alternative will be wrong too!

PlanetEarth · 01/04/2010 18:49

People just like to stick their oar in.

My mum complained that we were having veggie food at our wedding - "What will so-and-so eat?" Er, why can't he eat the veggie food?! Actually I said to her he could bring a ham sandwich if he wanted. (He didn't come anyway.)

MadameDefarge · 01/04/2010 18:49

Worzal, a few delivered pizzas will hardly cause chaos, and might be a kindness.

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 01/04/2010 18:56

Who wants take away pizza at their wedding

there is a chip shop up the road, I don't mind them popping out for something if they want.

OP posts:
Lonnie · 01/04/2010 19:02

Seriously considerng starting another thread on this actually will do

MadameDefarge · 01/04/2010 19:03

What's wrong with having pizza for kids at a wedding? Its a simple solution to your problem.

GeekOfTheWeek · 01/04/2010 19:24

I am a fussy eater and would not dream of requesting special food at a wedding, nor would I for my dc's.

I would nip out to the chippy or pack some sandwiches if I really couldn't eat what was on offer.

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