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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban DH from my ebay account?

30 replies

Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 07:28

Last year, DH was banned from his own ebay account for using other people's photographs, copying their descriptions and I suspect ... trying to sell vouchers for theme parks.

Anyway, ever since, whenever he wanted anything off ebay, I got it for him on my account but I got that sick of having to put in my password every 5 minutes, I just told him it and let him log in himself.

At first, he would tell me when he was ordering something (because he still needs me to log into my paypal account) but after a while, he just started ordering stuff and "letting me know" I needed to pay for it. He did give me the money in cash but it's not really the point, the constant paypals were really starting to bleed my bank account dry.

Anyway I told him to stop using it all the time and now he only uses it now and again but he hassles people on it. For instance, he bought a printer and started sending the bloke various messages (in terrible English, which made him (or me!) sound really immature and rude) asking to end the auction early etc. Then when he got the printer and it didn't work properly, instead of going through the proper chanels, he started hassling the bloke sending numerous emails about it etc.

Now he's done it again with someone else. Bought something and because it wasn't posted IMMEDIATELY he started harrassing the seller asking when it would be sent and "have you sent it yet?" etc etc.

Thing is, these people obviously think its me sending the abuse and I'm worried it's going to either affect my feedback or get me banned.

A few weeks ago he bought a bag, when it got here it wasn't as big as he wanted it to be so he was going to leave negative feedback!! I had to stop him.

He's so unreasonable with it. For one thing, I just don't like all the paypal stuff coming out of my bank account as it throws my budget out and secondonly I don't like him sending people messages from "me" in the way that he does. It's embarrassing.

AIBU to change the password and not let him on it anymore?

OP posts:
Nymphadora · 01/04/2010 07:31

No YANBU

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 01/04/2010 07:31

Your husband sold goods fraudulently? And abuses sellers regularly? And helps himself to your money despite being asked not to?

Yes, I'd ban him immediately. And from your eBay account as well, while you're there.

Macforme · 01/04/2010 07:33

I'd change it immediately..if someone lodges a complaint to ebay it will be you who takes the flack. Also he doesn't sound mature enough to be allowed to use ebay!!!!!!

MayorNaze · 01/04/2010 07:37

why are you with this man?

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 07:41

He's so impatient! I find it so frustrating.

Last week he ordered a few things from the Next sale (on my account again!). Anyway, because they didn't arrive the very next day he was kicking off saying I'd have to phone them and the delivery driver was obviously a lazy twat and couldn't be arsed etc!!

I wouldn't mind but it was a saturday so a bit hit and miss with deliveries anyway.

Then, when they didn't arrive on the monday either ... he was livid! Started saying he was going to make a complaint and that Next were shit and he was "paying for a service he wasn't getting" etc. I was like "chill out! they have 5 working days, its only been 1! Anyway, Tuesday ... still no parcel so pretty much all day he was fretting about it:

"where IS that parcel???"
"bet the stupid arsehole has delivered it to the wrong address!"
"what if they don't send it at all??"
"Will you PLEASE phone them???"
"I'm not having this ... its ridiculous"

FFS ...

It still didn't arrive yesterday and whilst his blood pressure is rising by the hour, I'm starting to find it quite ammusing

I'm kind of hoping it will come today though or he WILL make me phone them

OP posts:
JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 01/04/2010 07:43

change your password. He's being a twat about it.

LoveBeingAMummy · 01/04/2010 07:45

Lots of people let their partner use their account but it is the account holder who is responisble. What would he doif you got banned as well? I would change the password.

tbh he sounds as though he hasn't got the patience for online shoping and should stick to going to the shops (with his own bank card)

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 01/04/2010 07:46

How will he make you phone them, exactly?

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 07:50

Well he'll whinge at me and then go off in a massive sulk until I give in.

If he's in a particulary bad mood, he may shout and swear at me.

(god, see how I write this as if it's normal now?? don't worry, I know it's not ... I'll probably look back on these threads one day and cringe!)

OP posts:
JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 01/04/2010 07:57

He sounds like a bully. Is he like this with your children too?

LoveBeingAMummy · 01/04/2010 08:01

So what your saying is, he moans and you give in, remember what they say about children? Once you give in they learn to keep going cause you will give in.

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 08:04

No, just me ... and anyone who gets in the way whilst he's driving

A couple of days ago an old woman walked out into the road in front of him in asda car park. She DIDN'T look and it was daft of her but he carried on driving toward her at speed saying it was her own fault if she got ran over. I was fuming. He then waved his hands in the air and started shouting "just walk out in front of a fucking car why don't you? do you have a fucking death wish?"

Ok she wouldn't have heard him but still ... I think the whole display was for my benefit

OP posts:
Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 08:05

Yeah I know lovebeingamummy, I'm too soft but I just can't be doing with the hassle. I'm stressed to hell.

OP posts:
MathsMadMummy · 01/04/2010 08:08

YANBU. what stuff is he buying on there anyway? important stuff (like the printer) or is it mostly useless crap?

change the password, tell him to go to a shop if he's that bothered.

SPBInDisguise · 01/04/2010 08:17

why is he buying so much?
no yanbu - you are responsible for your account and don't want to be responsible for what he's doing

Kathyjelly · 01/04/2010 08:17

YANBU. I'd have banned him by now. My ex used to do that, to the point the car dealer refused to service his car because he used to kickoff over every bill.

If he gets blacklisted everywhere and can't order anything, it may get through to him that he's impatient and unreasonable. And definitely don't let him access your credit card or accounts. You're just asking for trouble.

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 08:24

I don't give him any access to my money or finances. He doesn't know my paypal password or how to log into my Next account.

He went backrupt a few years ago and he's not learnt a thing from it. We go to shop and when we get to the till he "rememberes" he has zero money in his account.

One time he actually let all the stuff go through and then the card was declined. We had to start putting stuff back, there was a huge queue behind us and I was so embarrassed.

How can anyone live with knowing they have NOTHING at all in their account?? I couldn't sleep! I keep my money seperate and private because if he finds out I have money, he'll go on and on at me about spending it. Infact, he found out I had £400 in an account last week and so far he's asked me to:

Book a holiday
Buy some clothes
Buy a Laptop ...

He tells me he has no money and is severely skint yet goes out the same night and buys a few bottles of cider and a chinese ...

And then he went off in a massive strop because I wouldn't let him order stuff from my next account. Apparantly I'm being "selfish" keeping it to myself.

Naturally, the whole bankrupcy thing is so "yesterday"

OP posts:
Picante · 01/04/2010 08:29

He sounds as if he has a real problem with money. He needs help. I don't think he's a twat I just think he needs to realise he has a problem with spending.

diddl · 01/04/2010 08:36

April 1st?

Kathyjelly · 01/04/2010 08:38

Well done you for keeping your finances separate and sticking with him. Very impressed. I know I'm not that forgiving and I couldn't sleep either. I need to know there's a "safety net" there so the washing machine conking out won't cause disaster.

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 08:38

diddl??

OP posts:
diddl · 01/04/2010 08:40

I thought it must be a wind up.
Your husband has been banned from something but then you have given him access via your account.

Original poster
Enchilada81 · 01/04/2010 08:43

No not a wind up, but I can see why you'd think that. Guess I just didn't think about it before I gave him it. Misguided trust combined with the want of an easy life.

OP posts:
ericnorthmansmistress · 01/04/2010 08:44

It's april fool's day. Your boyfriend sounds like such a right twat that diddle is wondering whether you have made him up as a wind up.
Seriously, do you have children with him? What is keeping you with him? What are his good points?

diddl · 01/04/2010 08:49

I just can´t understand why you thought it would be different just because he was using your account.