AIU/WWYD - nearly burst into tears and feel really angry now.

[JaneS]

What happened to me today doesn't happen often, but I've never found a good way to deal with it.

The backstory is that I am dyslexic and fully literate, but I do struggle to fill in forms because I don't find it easy to write block caps or to copy information. I can't do numbers at all - any number longer than 3 digits I can't memorize without a huge struggle, and if I copy a number I will almost always reverse some digits. I cope fine in my day-to-day life (which is postgrad study), but I struggle with admin tasks, esp. banking. I'm aware that people often assume I'm illiterate and trying to hide it.

I'm trying to keep this short, but basically the bank cashier today asked me to come back with 'someone who looks after you'. I'd failed to fill in the numbers on a form correctly, twice in a row, after telling her I struggled to do this and would she mind helping me. I assume she thought I was of very low intelligence but I felt really humiliated (aside from the fact I don't can't imagine how horrible that would feel for someone of genuinely low intelligence who was trying to manage on their own).

WWYD? I did speak to the manager as I wasted a lot of time filling in forms incorrectly and not being given any help from the cashier, but I am considering putting in a formal complaint.

make a complaint. the cashier needs some refresher training. write a v stern letter. sorry you had to endure that

Shame on her for being judgemental and rude. She should treat everyone with the same level of decency and she should have helped you. I would complain, I really would. She needs a slap round the chops with the DDA and some retraining. What a horrible thing to happen.

Remember though, that as horrible as it makes you feel, sh eis the one with the problem, in that she is quick to judge and needs a course in treating people with a bit of decency. I would go back in and ask if her 'helper' is in today, as clearly she needs one to temper her attitude.

i work in a bank and i would never dream of humiliating ANYONE in that way. if someone is struggling with a form i always offer to help fill it in. it doesn't take any longer for me to do it than the customer and at least i know the form wont be sent back beause of an error. some of our forms can be very confusing, even to me never mind a customer so i would not hesitate at all to offer to help, in fact if i am handing a form out i usually say "just ask if you need any help."

i would definately make a complaint about the cashier. that is not good customer service.

so sorry for you.

LRD, I am outraged, as are many others on the thread. PLEASE PLEASE complain, tis not axxeptable at all!!!!

What a nasty piece of work! How horrible for you. I'd complain.

LittleRedDragon, if you read my posts carefully, nowhere do I suggest that you should broadcast your dyslexia to all and sundry - all I'm saying is, in the particular situation you described at the bank, things might have gone more smoothly if you had explained that you were dyslexic. It's also true that the cashier might still not have understood, but we'll never know. The fact that the cashier might treat people with more severe/global learning difficulties like this is appalling, I agree, but initially you seemed more upset at the cashier assuming you were of "low intelligence." I don't want to give up on this conversation we are having, but I feel that quite a lot of what I am saying is being misinterpreted and exaggerated. Whatever you may think, my intentions are kindly. And for someone with dyslexia and supposedly below average intelligence, your posts are remarkably articulate and well-spelt, by the way.

Geekygirl, perhaps if you had read my post most carefully, you would have realized that (as I have said) I have already said that I am dyslexic. In fact, I have said that I am proud to be dyslexic.

I'm terribly sorry if I fail to conform to your stereotype of what dyslexia is. I am so very sorry for being 'remarkable' in my correct spelling - it must be so very hard for you to adapt to that.

Now: please help me. If I have told someone once that I am dyslexic, what should I do the second time? You clearly think that my telling someone that I am dyslexic once is not enough: please tell me how many times is enought?

Geeky, LRD did not say she has low intelligence she said she was treated as if she was. And people spell check on PCs. What are you trying to say? Perhaps tone is important here but that last sentence sounds very snide. Perhaps you didn't mean it that way!

I do see your point about telling people about the dyslexia - but how depressing for LRD and others with similar difficulties to have to explain the specifics of a personal problem in public all the time; it shouldn't be necessary to do that, people should be willing to give such a small amount of help as LRD wanted without having to have a medical diagnosis to persuade them to give it!

Thanks CBtS. I am not bright perhaps but I am not as dim as this lady suggested. If I were that dim, I would be shocked at that kind of treatment.

Cirrhosis - there was a later post from LRD where she talked about having a low IQ score in certain tests, being dim in some areas, intelligent in others and this is what I was referring to. I was also thinking the issue might be discalculia rather than dyslexia.

Anyway, LRD, I think you are absolutely determined to be offended by my posts. If you want everybody to agree with you, maybe you should avoid starting AIBU threads.

Gives up and goes to bed

Well I'm teary reading your posts as I have two dyslexic kids and this kind of thing is one of my biggest fears for them in the future.

I would complain strongly. It's absolutely disgusting that the member of staff thought it acceptable to treat you with such a lack of respect. I think I would also write a letter to my local paper and name and shame the bank.

LRD that is appalling. I am an ex-bank manager (as of last weekend - hooray!) and I would have apologized and given the cashier what for.

I have helped people wherever possible and that has included adding up dozens of cheques on the adding machine (we need to check it any way so not exactly putting me out), made cups of tea for customers with all kinds of problems and just listened, called other companies on customers' behalves because they have a disability of some kind and can't do it themselves, printed off details of how to obtain probate when the family court next door was shut and other things that I've forgotten because it wasn't a big deal. It's not just about doing a job, but about being a decent human being.

I think you should complain to head office. And move your account. Plenty of banks don't use paying in slips anymore (Santander, Alliance & Leicester, Halifax and I think Nationwide) so maybe you could get round it that way?

ignorant bitch. (the casheer obviously).

I experienced similar once when I had to fill out a registration form at the dentist. I am VI so obv need help filling in the form. I had got a lift there with my sister who then had to go back to work, the woman handed her the form to fill in and said "are you her carer?" I could cheerfully have slapped her. I've since changed dentists.

I didn't know there were banks that had done away with paying-in slips, great! Will investigate ...

Geeky Girl, I wasn't trying to be offended by your posts, but they did get under my skin a bit. I don't go around saying 'look at me, I'm dyslexic', but I do tell people if they won't help me when I ask. However, I think it's beside the point: what really upset me was that clearly this way the way that woman would have treated anyone with a difficulty. That's horrible, and I'm thanking my stars I don't get that kind of treatment very often but feeling terrible for those who do. That's why I'm harping on about her thinking I was generally learning-disabled, not because I'm offended by it.

I have had very nice and kind people assume I am anything from blind to severely learning-disabled, and it doesn't bother me a bit.

Incidentally, if you go around telling people you are dyslexic, they will tend to assume that's an invitation to discuss the topic and re-diagnose you (as you just did - no, I don't think it's dyscalculia, I'll go with what the qualified educational psychologists said).

Glad you said that last bit, LRD - geeky girl, how incredibly pretentious and rude to infer that you don't think LRD even has dyslexia - how incredible! I think the absolute least people can do is assume she has her own diagnosis right.

What did the manager say ? Sounds awful, I work as a bank cashier and help plenty of people but certian forms have to be completed by the customer (fraud protection - sad but true.)
Complain to the manager as any formal complaint would firstly be sent to them to respond to if your not happy then ask for the complaints dept details and they will deal with it directly if you have already spoken to the manager.
Most banks have private interview rooms so maybe next time you could say you want to speak to someone in private you can get help privately without stressing yourself out in the banking hall.
Ive worked with people like this and dont know why they work with the public they have no interest in helping.

Cirrhosis (I am not sure I feel polite addressing you like that!) - yes, but to be fair I do know I come across as (and I am) an odd kind of dyslexic.

vicky - When I spoke to the manager yesterday he was perfectly nice and polite but he says that it isn't the cashier's job to fill in the paying-in slip. He said it would also take a very long time if they had to do it for everyone, which was less nice and polite but probably true. We didn't really get anywhere with the issue as I was a bit emotional and trying to keep it together, but I've been trying to write a formal letter to the bank today, so we'll see how that goes. It may be a fraud protection issue, as you say, but I've had cashiers who've done the same thing for me in the past, so I doubt it really.

I dont understand the problem if it was a credit slip - the bank I work for doesnt have them for customers to fill in we just ask you to confirm how much you are giving us. Def not a fraud issue just an ignorant cashier, I really dont get people like that the attitude seems to be 'what can I do NOT to help rather than what can I do to help'.

The manager should have been more understanding mine would have pulled me over hot coals for this.
Hope the outcome id good and you dont have to deal with ignorance like this again.

Normally I'm one to let things lie but in this case I'd right a formal complaint to their head office then also move banks! I dread to think what she may have said to vunerable customers she deals with who are far less liekly to complain.

I'm just thinking back to working in a shop, the amount of old ladies who simply handed me teir purse to count money because of eyesight/shakes or people who couldn't write/talk/hear/understand/ lift etc. It's part of everyday life dealing with people with difficulties when you work in retail or customer service and I always took pride in the fact that so many vunerable shoppers learnt my shifts and sought me out to purchase from, or even just say hello. It was one of the few things that made working in a grim supermarket job bearable having that feeling of making a difference and seeing a smile in greeting. I just can't understand someone with such an attitude. Yes there were certain rules, but I explained carefully and usually there was a way round them or some helpful advice. I can't imagine such a job having negative interactions frequently, soul-destroying.

well the cashier is obviously NOT going to win the employee of the month award. What a horrible horrible thing to say. I am not dyslexic but i still have problems filling in all the bloody forms that banks expect you to. i simply hand the form to the cashier and say i don't understand this can you help me please. But you should make a written formal complaint about the cashier and the manager didn't sound like he was all that helpful either....

Totally at their attitude....

I totally get what you mean by your intelligence being all over the map, btw, LRD. I've always liked and been very good at reading, and have a good memory for what I read. (I always know random trivia things, etc.) This gives the impression that I'm clever, but...

I find it almost impossible to give or follow directions. Literally, someone could call me two blocks away from my house and I would know exactly where they were and still have a hard time telling them how to get to me. It's extremely hard for me to tell people how to get to, or to get to myself in some cases, places I've been several times. I also can't quite grasp time. I can tell time (though it took a long time to teach me) but I'd be hardpressed to tell you whether something took place an hour ago or 5 minutes. If someone tells me to meet them in "about 15 minutes", I have to time it exactly.

Sorry, this is not about me, but I do know what you mean. It can be very frustrating when your issues are in one specific thing. People think you're joking or being "stupid" on purpose, when in fact you're trying as hard as you can.