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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to do anything for dh until he explains

38 replies

melondrama · 31/03/2010 11:09

why he has signed up for some sex chat site.

i was out all day yesterday, taking kids to softplay whilst he hung about the house.

i came home to all the mess, he hadn't moved an inch...
then once kids were in bed and he was out i turned on laptop and found 5 open windows of stupid sex chat site
when i called him to ask wtf was he upto he accused me of reading his emails! then he tried to laugh it off as harmless mooching round porn sites.

today he asked me to make him breakfast but i told him i wouldn't be doing anything for him until he explained wtf he has been doing online. so he huffed off back to bed and is still there now, arsehole!

surely i deserve an explanation? i'm really furious but he's trying to squirm out of this

OP posts:
MathsMadMummy · 31/03/2010 11:11

yanbu, hope he explains asap!

FalafelAtYourFeet · 31/03/2010 11:11

Are they possibly popups? Surely if he was trying to hide them he wouldn't have left FIVE windows open?

FabIsGettingThere · 31/03/2010 11:13

YANBU

I expect your h will expect you to crack before him though.

SugarTits · 31/03/2010 11:14

Don't know why he asked you to make him breakfast in the first place, is he incapable or are women not equals and just there to serve and shag?

cornsilk · 31/03/2010 11:14

why can't he make his own breakfast anyway?

PatsyStone · 31/03/2010 11:17

yanbu but why would you be running around after him anyway? There is no way I'd be letting my dh lounge around in bed if I'd discovered that on our computer with no explanation. He sounds charming.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 11:18

This would bea dealbreaker for me.

Sex chats sites. Is he 15?

Make him breakfast but put bromide in it.

Then tell him to sling 'is hook.

Original poster
melondrama · 31/03/2010 11:19

they were pop ups but i did check his email and he had registered on the site

he asked me to bring him some breakfast- to the sofa. as i was getting kids breakfast

he will expect me to crack first, he knows its hard to maintain frostiness and refuse to feed him etc when i'm cooking for kids anyway.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 31/03/2010 11:21

My DH would fall down with shock if I made him breakfast. Even the kids pour their own cereal.

minipie · 31/03/2010 11:22

YANBU to be pissed off and demand an explanation, but not really sure it's a good idea to link it to doing stuff for him. what happens if he just says "ok I'll get my own brekkie then". Just ask for an explanation, full stop.

cornsilk · 31/03/2010 11:23

Mine too chickens. Are some woman really expected to make breakfast for their husbands?

PatsyStone · 31/03/2010 11:23

Even when I'm doing dc's breakfast, dh would still get his own. Are you his slave? How is you not doing his 'refusing to feed him'? Sorry, but I'd have kicked his arse by now, no grown man in a relationship that he is serious about would register to those kinds of sites.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 11:26

Seriously now, it seems hat you are concentrating all your energy on the breakfast non-issue. He has registered with a sex chat site? What the hell is wrong with him? Are you happy about this? Becaue if not you really do need to tell him that this is Not On.

I feel quite stringly about shit like this - it is faithlessness in my eyes. And urgh to boot.

FabIsGettingThere · 31/03/2010 11:29

My DH makes me breakfast sometimes..

WhoIsAsking · 31/03/2010 11:31

Er....he sat about all day chatting shite on the internet, leaving you to come home to clean up after him and has now gone back to bed?

He sounds a bit rubbish.

yankbabymum · 31/03/2010 11:33

how vile - i'm not sure demanding an explanation is a good idea though, dread to think of the details you might get!

BritFish · 31/03/2010 11:39

cant believe he asked you to make him breakfast.
its nice to do it for your OH sometimes as a treat, but if mine asked id call 999 as he clearly has had an awful accident rendering him unable to pour the coco pops [oh yes, sophisticated breakfast choices in this house!]

Callisto · 31/03/2010 11:47

I think I'd just dump him - he sounds like an arse.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 11:50

I make DP breakfast every Saturday - full english.

Me and DD have bacon sandwiches - I make DP a big breakfast because I know he really likes it and its a nice little ritual we have got. He loves it and is always grateful.

I don;t mind making him breakfast as he is a good chap and doesn't piss about on sex chat sites like the OP's fuckwit of a husband.

MathsMadMummy · 31/03/2010 11:51

my DH gets me and DD breakfast most days, when he gets his own - I think he feels that it's 'the least he could do' as I'm then with the kids all day. I certainly don't expect him to and I appreciate it, as he does if I make him a cuppa. Taking each other for granted is Not On in our house!

RE the sex chat thing, he'd better come clean soon, that kind of thing is so destructive in a relationship.

Jackstini · 31/03/2010 11:52

YANBU - think I would be just as pissed off that he hadn't done any housework

GeekOfTheWeek · 31/03/2010 12:11

I agree with GetOrf.

This would be a dealbreaker for me. Fucker.

GypsyMoth · 31/03/2010 12:27

dealbreaker for me too (dont have a DH or H anymore)

he's gone from looking at porn....to interacting with women.....all be it from the sofa,but where is he headed next?

and you wont be able to stop him,bear that in mind

Original poster
melondrama · 31/03/2010 13:18

thanks for replies
well have demanded explanation and he says he clicked on advert on porn site for live webcam but after registering realised it requires payment so left it. justified sitting around looking at porn at lunchtime as we're not having sex.. true youngest dd hardly sleeps and is in our bed every night.

i've spelt out why it's unacceptable wanting to sit around looking at porn while i'm lugging the kids around to fricking groups and playdates and returning home to messy house and dinner to cook etc

re. breakfast we most often eat porrige when cold so i ask who wants if i'm making and vice versa, not a biggie

so sort of resolved but i'm not impressed by his recent attitude but that's a whole other thread!

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 31/03/2010 13:29

Resolved?? He's lying to you. No-one registers for a sex site "accidentally". And what did he say about doing bugger all while you were out? It certainly does sound like a whole other thread.