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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not let my DD have a mobile

28 replies

gillhugh · 30/03/2010 09:58

My DD has got it in her head that she wants a mobile for her birthday on her birthday she will be 7. she said her friends have got one and she promises to look after it. I really dont want her to have one as she still only a kid and cant see any benefits to her having one ive tried discussing it with her but the tears come and there is no reasoning with her.
my DP said we should just get her a cheap one as she will get bored of it but least she will be happy. therefore AIBU to stick to my guns ands say no!
any advise thanks xx

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 30/03/2010 10:13

Get her a 20quid nokia one with 10 credit on it. Lets be fair, at that age she will have a handful of people that she can text, and wont be able to access the internet if you get a cheap enough phone!
On pirncipal I dont agree with it, but she is 7, if its her hearts desire, its only going to cost £30, make her happy!

Trafficcone · 30/03/2010 10:22

Absoloutely no way. Seven????? My kids are allowed a phone once they go to scondary school because then they need one. A seven year old does not need a phone as she shouldn't ever be out of your sight long enough to use one!
What the hell do these kids have to look forward to if they are given all the trappings of adult and teenage life before they even begin puberty??!! What will be special about starting secondary for example? All my dds mates can't wait for next year as it means they'll get a phone. This is on a par with buying a 6 year old a laptop. What's next? Sat navs for their bikes? Or just sod it and buy our ten year olds a car? Just a cheapy mind, they'll soon get bored of it.

neolara · 30/03/2010 10:22

No way would I let me dd have a phone at 7. As you say, there are no real benefits and the potential for a whole load of hassle (nasty texts?).

Of course there is no reasoning with her. She's 7 and she wants something sooooooooo much. But saying no is still OK. She'll cry for a bit and then forget about it.

bumpybecky · 30/03/2010 10:24

yanbu

if you buy her a mobile at 7, what will it be next year? a ipod? laptop?

BunnyLebowski · 30/03/2010 10:24

Really really don't agree with monkeyfacegrace's advice to give your daughter a mobile to keep her happy.

What kind of precedent does that set??? Anytime she wants something she'll know she just has to cry to get it

A mobile phone for a 7 year old is completely and utterly ridiculous and unnecessary.

Woman up and tell her a definite no.

MaryBS · 30/03/2010 10:26

My 10yo doesn't have a mobile, but her friends do. I tell her that medical advice is that her skull isn't thick enough at the moment, and it can be damaging to a child to use a mobile. Am not sure if this is STILL the case, but I read it somewhere and it sounds good! She has accepted that!

borderslass · 30/03/2010 10:29

DD2 got one at 10 and she only got it because I was carless for 6 weeks and she had to walk the 2 miles to school and cross 3 major roads, she phoned me that she got there and handed it to her teacher and I got it when she got home. She only got it to keep when she went to high school.

drinkyourmilk · 30/03/2010 10:32

she's 7! She should be thinking about Barbie or a new bike.

Mobile? No way. Ask her dad how he's going to police who she gives her number to? If he's not thinking sensibly about age appropriate toys (cause that's what it will be to her, not a tool) then scare him with safety stuff.

YANBU!!!

Original poster
gillhugh · 30/03/2010 10:48

hanks everyone i knew i wasnt BU but i feel like the bad guy and think DP likes to make his princess happy no matter what...he works 12 hour days and when hes home he hates to upset DC's
But hes not let DD know he agrees with her we always back each other up in front of children and then discuss it later.
Im gonna do abit of research and get her a much better present than a stupid phone .
Im thinking karaoke machine (she loves singing) or maybe a little cd player for her room (she loves dancing)

Thanks for your advice monkeyface but i dont agree with you she has no1 to text and it frightens me to death if she has £10 top up every week sounds like an expense i could do without.

Im sticking to my guns and she can have one when she goes to high school like ive already told her.

She;ll get over it

OP posts:
WingedVictory · 30/03/2010 12:14

Oh, spoiling them with things to make up for the lack of time (DH, not you). Doesn't everyone know how bad that is? You and right, and he had better not undermine you. He will have to think of another way to keep her happy. A day out with just her, perhaps? He surely can't work all weekends.

newpup · 30/03/2010 12:21

DD1 is 11 soon and really wants a mobile phone but DH and I have agreed no mobile phones while at primary school. She is the only one in her group of 4 friends not to have one and one of the three girls in the class not allowed one. That is crazy but sadly true!

I agree that if they have everything now what is there to wait for? There is no way a primary school child needs a phone. DD1 does not go anywhere where she needs one. There has also been a problem with some nasty texts being sent late at night ( nothing to do with her friends but still)

Stick to your guns. 7 is WAY too young!

SalAShus · 30/03/2010 12:33

Who is she going to call? None of her mates will have one surely.

littlelozz · 30/03/2010 12:42

YANBU - my DH said to me the other day that he cant belive in about two years or less DD1 will get a mobile for when she is out with friends. DD1 will only be just 5! I hit the roof - where does he think she will be playing? Miles and miles away???
Kids are kids - they shouldnt be made to be older than they are.
We were in a shop the other day and I heard a mum say to her DD 'stop asking for a barbie your 7 for goodness sake act your age!' I couldnt belive it!! DD being 3 is all I have to compare kids to but what age do they stop playing with barbies? 5 when they start school and we need to make them grow up?

Sorry for going away a bit there but its a bug bear of mine. Stick to your guns x

Original poster
gillhugh · 30/03/2010 12:45

i am sticking to my guns she will not get one...
and salashus 2 of her best friends have one but they are spoilt brats lucky to have easy going parents i guess.and a couple of kids in the class have one (they also have laptops,ipods,etc etc)
i just dont see why she needs one she is either with me or at school.

OP posts:
TottWriter · 30/03/2010 12:48

YANBU - I got my first mobile when I was in mid teens (and it was my mum's old one). There wasn't much point in me having one before, as I could call my friends on the landline when I wanted to talk to them, and my mum picked me up from school.

TBH, there is no reason to give a child a mobile unless they patently need it. Why encourage them to grow up so fast?

As for her really wanting it - I really wanted lots of things growing up which I never got. I don't have scars, despite the fact I was never allowed shoes with flashing lights in them, tamagotchis or any of the other junk children ask for.

wannaBe · 30/03/2010 12:50

yanbu. My dh has the perfect descriptions for mobiles "it's the gift that keeps on taking."

A seven year old doesn't need a mobile phone, tbh I don't think any child needs a mobile phone, yes they might be handy to have but they don't need them, and the effects on children are still largely unknown.

My ds won't be getting one - not even at secondary. And personally I think they should be banned for under 16s.

LIZS · 30/03/2010 12:51

yanbu. Sorry don't get any need for one under secondary age and I bet if you spoke to her friends' parents you'd find very few if any have their own. Where would she take it ? It would get lost and/or broken or "borrowed"

Buda · 30/03/2010 12:56

YANBU. DS is 8 and a half and wants one. He has been told no way. Like MaryBS, I have explained that children's skulls are not fully developed and there are concerns about the effect mobile phones have on them. He has accepted it.

RealityIsWalking100K · 30/03/2010 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MeMudmagnet · 30/03/2010 13:14

My dd (nearly 11) has been on about wanting a phone for a few years now. She's the only one of her friends without one.
We have decided to get her one for her birthday this year, before she starts secondary in september. She'll be catching the bus to school to the next village then. She's also started to play out with friends now, so this age feels about right.

Because it's something she's wanted for ages, I know she'll appreciate it more too. But we're still only getting her a cheap simple phone, nothing flash and expensive.

Nat2010 · 30/03/2010 13:17

Message deleted

rockinhippy · 30/03/2010 13:17

My DD is 7 too, & had the same problem with her too, almost caused all out war with my Mum, because she went & bought her 1 , which I refused to let her give to DD

just tell her , NO, she's too young, & don't buy into the friends bit.........if you've an old mobile of your own, maybe charge that up, & let her use it for playing games when you are out & about & she's bored

thats what I eventually did with DD, with instuctions for weekend out only & to her its just as good as the real thing

CantSupinate · 30/03/2010 13:48

I would say that most of the children we know started getting own mobiles at about age 8-8.5yo (which is the same age they start going anywhere unescorted by adults). Very
few didn't have one by their 10th birthday.

Anyway, I am holding the line with my 10yo because he is the eldest and once one of them have it the others will drive me batty nagging clamour for one. Probably I will get him one for this year's summer holidays (between yr5 & 6).

BritFish · 30/03/2010 14:12

stick to your guns! there is absolutely no reason at all a child should have one before they reach secondary school. thats when my two got theirs, because they walked to and from school. and it was pay as you go. which i controlled and they had a teeny limit at first, 5 pound a month. and they generally didnt even use that, so often i didnt need to top it up.

CowWatcher · 30/03/2010 14:24

Seems most people here are of the YANBU complexion. I agree but have you tried getting together with the Mums of soe of her class mates who don't have them. That way, you can all agree together that you aren't going to give in & when she says, 'but everyone else's got one' you can, will all confidence say, 'no, so-and-so hasn't, and neither has so-and-so'

I plan to do this with and handful of friends with children the same age as my DD.

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