To think this is not a nice way to speak to a child?

[SirBoobAlot]

At the mums & children's group I go to, the children range between a few weeks (antenatal group is next door and you just swap rooms) and a few years old. Its generally a really lovely environment, albeit a bit groupy to begin with; DS is 4 months and I'm just about settled in!

Recently some new members have joined, and I haven't spoken to them much, as they tend to sit in the corner on their phones, and ignoring the rest of us if we try and strike up conversation

But anyway - one of these mums has a little boy who is about 16-18 months (I'm guessing here, as when I asked her before, she just looked at me blankly and went back to her phone). Today she gave him a piece of ham off her plate to eat and he dropped it. He then picked it up and went to eat it again, to which she shouted, "Don't act like a bloody tramp!"

I didn't say anything (not my place) but it really shocked me, and some of the other members in the room.

i think this is not a nice post sirboobalot.

Why fishie?

YANBU

I called my son a dirty little monkey for doing a similar thing today.

It seems a lot worse written down in black and white but I said it in a fun way.

I often call him a little monkey when he is up to mischief so when he repeatidly tried to put somethimg off a shop floor I said "stop doing that you dirty little monkey" I actually meant to say "stop doing that you little monkey its dirty".

Fortunately for me there wasn't a mumsnetter in earshot to post on here about the appalling mother who called her toddler a dirty little monkey.

YANBU this sort of thing really annoys me, why have kids if you cant speak to them it a polite way or be bothered with with?

My son's favourite first word was 'dirty', not tramp, poor lad.

Surely it would have been worse if she had made him eat the ham instead?

The OP was there. She didn't say this was said in a jokey way. IMO it's an rude and inappropriate way to speak to a child

if it was posted as kid dropped ham and was told don't etc etc then of course it would be bad.

but all this scene setting... it took the very eager op four months to settle in! new members are judged for not wanting to 'join in'. not very inclusive.

So this mum ignored you when you asked her a direct question, and shouted at her son.

She sounds like a very unhappy person to me.

Of course it's not a nice way to speak to a child.... do you really think any one is going to say YABU?

I don't understand why, Fishie? I'm sorry if I've offended you for some reason, but I was really quite shocked (and actually a little upset) with what I saw.

I called DS a little monkey too TheMumtalist, and occasionally a pain in the bum - but its said with a smile. This wasn't. I'm not sure whether her swearing or calling her son a "tramp" bothered me more

maybe fishie was that mother???

pixie what a peculiar comment. i think it is reasonably clear that i can write in english.

of course parent and child groups have lots of people who won't necessarily get on well.

to return to op:

"Its generally a really lovely environment, albeit a bit groupy to begin with; DS is 4 months and I'm just about settled in!"

16 weeks to settle in! that is hell and forever with a baby.

"ignoring the rest of us if we try and strike up conversation" maybe they just don't like you. is that such a crime?

No, but it's rude. As is talking to your child like that.

ha stoppin. i'd have eaten the ham before it hit the floor.

Now this thread is getting weird!

You don't ignore people just because you don't like them.

And it can take many weeks of going to baby/toddler groups before you feel really comfortable, adn always have somone you know to talk to. I preservered with one for about 2 years before I really settled in.

"maybe they just don't like you."

Thanks for that.

Sorry, fishie, but you're just being ridiculous.
Of course it's wrong to talk like that to a child. On so many levels.
Everyone (or almost) looses it once in a while, but in a situation like OP has described it was totally unwarranted.
Actually, come to think about it, no, I cannot imagine a situation that would make me speak like that to my 14m old DD.

i get embarassed when my ds does somthing 'wrong' in public but i dont speak to him like shite..lame excuse!

Dictionary
bloody adjective adverb (EMPHASIS)
/ˈblʌd.i/ adj [before noun] adv mainly UK very informal used to emphasize an adjective, adverb or noun in a slightly rude way
So not a swearword.i think you are a bit of a nutter really

I am PSML at this, I know I shouldn't be, am in a funny mood tonight I think

OP no YANBU, it is quite sad really She should meet some of the mums at my usual toddler group though...