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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to complain to post office for the way they treated my dad?

46 replies

cheesypopfan · 26/03/2010 14:52

Ok, my dad went to the post office yesterday to post a DVD. He picked up one of the packets they sell for posting DVD's. He decided not to get that one, so he put it back - not in the right place - and picked up a different one which he then paid for.

An hour later, he gets a phone call from the post office saying they think he has shop lifted a DVD packet and can he come back (he had sent a letter by reg post so they had got his address from there so they could get his phone number). He states that he didn't, but he will come back. He goes to post office and is sat down where all the staff are and is shown cctv of him picking up first packet and looking at it. You then can't see him putting it back as his back is towards camera, but when he moves off there is a space where the first packet was - as i said, he put it down somewhere else. They then see him buying the second packet. He gets really embarrassed and upset and humiliated and they don't believe his story. He goes home, really tearful and upset, and they phone later to tell him they will not pursue it.

I am really cross mainly because if they beleived he stole it, why didn't they accost him outside the shop, where he could have proved that he didn't have it on him? The way they did it meant that could not take it further anyway, as they had not definitive proof, so they have just caused a lot of upset to an 81yr old man who has been a customer there for the past 32 years.

He is really embarressed and doesn't want to go to the post office ever again, but, in reality, he doesn't drive so he may have no choice. AIBU to be angry about this and to want to phone the manager and just ask why they did what they did and ask for an apology?

OP posts:

CwtchyMama · 26/03/2010 14:56

Bunch of bastards! I am livid for you & your poor Dad.

I would be ringing head office myself,they have handled it all wrong.Could they not have looked for the dvd case before ringing him up?

Nemofish · 26/03/2010 14:57

They don't have a leg to stand on.

Very unprofessional.

I think that you should complain - is there a post office ombudsman or something?

Original poster

cheesypopfan · 26/03/2010 15:00

thank you - I am glad I am not the only one infuriated by this. Clearly their procedures need checking at the very least. But they never apologised, which i think is just awful as it has left him feeling like he is still accused

OP posts:

WillowM2B · 26/03/2010 15:04

They cannot phone somebody up like that telling them to come back to the shop. He had left the premises. I would be livid about that fact alone. They should have called the police.

If I were you I would kick up the most almighty stink about this involving local press etc...But I am not known for my calm nature

sb6699 · 26/03/2010 15:56

I dont understand why they didnt stop him when he tried to leave the premises - okay it would have still been unpleasant - but he could have proven he didnt have it, they could have apologised and at least your Dad would have felt the matter was closed.

Would definately ask about this and if you are not satisfied with their explanations and they offer no apologies, go to your local press.

ImSoNotTelling · 26/03/2010 16:03

God that sounds awful.

They can't drag pensionsers back to the shop and accuse them of things that they have no way of refuting.

If they really thought he was shoplifting they should have stopped him when he left.

Or phoned the police afterwards and left it with them.

Sounds like they just enjoy scaring vulnerable people - they obviously knew they couldn't take it any further and just thought it would be good to shake him up.

diddl · 26/03/2010 16:06

That is truly awful.
As others have said-if they don´t stop you before you leave the premises, they no right to, do they?

It´s the sort of story the Mail would love

Original poster

cheesypopfan · 26/03/2010 16:07

I know - the way he was treated just seems to me to be awful and for no good reason. As I have said before, if they really thought he had taken something, they should have asked him there and then so he could prove his innocence. I don't live with my dad, but my sis does, so i have sent her a txt asking her whether she thinks he would be more upset if i phoned and complained. He doesn't want to himself and in some ways he wants to just let the matter drop and hide in a hole - he is very a proud man - but I think if nothing else, someone needs to question this practice.

OP posts:

RJRabbit · 26/03/2010 16:08

Yes, definitely. A great big fuss needs to be made about this disgusting treatment. Go along and demand an explanation and an apology for your Dad. Make sure you threaten to involve the local press about it and your MP, and anyone else you can think of.

ImSoNotTelling · 26/03/2010 16:09

Ring them up and ask them what the hell they think they were playing at. That won't count of "fuss" really.

Probably best to check with him before alerting the national papers though...

llllll · 26/03/2010 16:11

Your story reminds me of when my post office thought I had pinched an envelope. I could hear them behind the counter discussing me. Telling each other what I was wearing and what colour hair I had. They were going to follow me down the road. They didn't realise that I was waiting to pay for the envelope that they thought I had pinched. Your poor dad I would definately follow it up completely out of order.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 26/03/2010 16:13

What is it with post offices lately? Could they have not just done a quick stock count?

I had to pick up a parcel the other day, I had my little red and white note and the guy asked me when I got it. I then noticed it hadn't been dated. I told him it was within the last few days and he said "Huh! You can tell it was a woman postman" ????!!!! Apart from the fact it was a man (I saw him get back into his van), what is the F ing point in that??

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 26/03/2010 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chippy47 · 26/03/2010 16:35

So they did not even check to see if the envelope was somewhere else on the display? Or sold it since he was in?
I would have been furious and would be demanding a meeting with the PO manager and with his regional manager. I am not sure it is even legal for them to obtain his phone number from his name and address on a registered letter form -the police probably could do this but I would not imagine they would for something so trivial and incorrect. Complete idiots.

Original poster

cheesypopfan · 26/03/2010 16:43

The post office is in a large village. Like I say, he has been going there for years and will have to go back as he can't drive and is in his 80s. I have tried to phone but was engaged. If I lived nearer, i'd have just gone there in person.

I did also wonder about how they got his number and whether it was legal. I initially thought it prob was a numbers can be easily found on net etc, but he is x-directory, so i do wonder how they did it. All stinks to me.

OP posts:

chippy47 · 26/03/2010 16:55

So he has been going to this post office for 32 years -assume they know who he is then(ie somebody who has never shoplifted).
Even if he had took the envelope (in error/moment of confusion) it would still have been a pathetic way of dealing with the situation.
Do any humans actually work at this place?

Original poster

cheesypopfan · 26/03/2010 17:02

I think that's part of my frustration. I know going somewhere for that long doesn't mean you are innocent, but it surely would mean that he may have been recognised. Asking him as he left the shop would have been a much better way of dealing with it - yes, it still would have been embarrassing - I've been asked, wrongly, before now, but at least he would have been able to prove he didn't do it. I can't imagine what was going through their minds. Can't get through - guess they may have shut. Will try again as soon as they open in the morning.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 26/03/2010 17:04

How awful! Yes, definitely complain. Hope your Dad isn't too upset by it.

ellesapelle · 26/03/2010 17:22

That's awful! I would be absolutely furious if someone had treated my dad like that. I would definitely make a complaint - the staff need better training on how to deal with things like that. Or just some manners!

TottWriter · 26/03/2010 17:30

YANBU. That is uttlerly shocking.

I don't think you can even prosecute someone that age for shoplifting if you do have proof. I used to work in retail, and one of my colleagues told me about an old man that used to come in and grab some veg, then walk out. This colleague was one of the ones who caught him, and it turned out the old man was an ex policeman exploiting a loophole in the law which meant he could simply claim senility and not be prosecuted. He was banned from the store, but that's all they could do.

The post office would surely know that, so they were being doubly vindictive. Spanks of bullying to me - I'd go to the police and report them for harrassment if your Dad could cope with the process. Sadly, it sounds like they picked their victims well if he's too embarrased to want to go back. on your behalf.

ImSoNotTelling · 26/03/2010 19:35

If it's in a large village and he's been going there for more than 3 deacdes they will know him FGS

This is so shocking. livid on your dads behalf

Foxymona · 27/03/2010 03:05

I would immediately lodge an official complaint in written form and over the phone. I would call to complain first and ask for the name of the manager and then register the posted written complaint to them. I would keep it very formal and state that their behaviour was completely unacceptable, especially in regards to a long standing customer. I would even be petty enough to ring the local radio station
I would demand an apology at the very least. BASTARDS.

SugarTits · 27/03/2010 08:08

Contact the community police officer and ask him to pay a visit to the post office.

FabIsGettingThere · 27/03/2010 08:13

YANBU

I so hope your dad is okay .

ImSoNotTelling · 27/03/2010 08:17

How is your dad now have you spoken to him?

Is he getting angry yet or still mortified? Do you think he will let you take it further?

I am still just aghast that this has happened. Really appalling.

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