Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if you are a paid childminder, you should spend your days actually looking after the children....

103 replies

NewAgain · 26/03/2010 11:34

....and not running around town, doing your shopping, meeting mates for coffee and taking your own children to after school activities?
I know a few childminders in my area, who I see regularly around town and on the school run.

Their minded children seem to spend half the day strapped into triple buggies and whinging whilst chilminder goes about her business around town.

Now whilst this is surely completely normal things for people to do with their own children, I would be pretty p!ssed off if I was paying somebody else to do this with my child.

AIBU to wonder if the parents of these children realise that these people are being paid about 4 times over to just drag several children around with them on their normal daily routine?

OP posts:
nickschick · 26/03/2010 12:17

Suwoo wot ya doing at uni?
Am very .

samx · 26/03/2010 12:18

i have just returned from the very shopping trip the op is complaining about, i took mindees aged 3 and 20 months ( he sat in the buggy)
the 3 yr old and i were looking for a birthday present for my friend and she and i went from shop to shop discussing her taste and the colours she would wear before deciding on a necklace. We also talked about price and how much money I had with me so that I could afford the said necklace.
We then went in to Costa coffee and had a cup of tea and a juice and talked about our trip and wrapped the present, all the while the baby talked to us and was included in his own way.
He then fell asleep as we went for our coffee and is still asleep now.
I have parent's full and written permission for my shopping trip and really feel that the little girl beniefitted from our trip and was not dragged around complaining at any point.
In fact she asked me on the way home if we could come out again as soon as she had eaten lunch.
I do not do my weekly shop but i do run into the supermarket with my mindees again with full and written permission from parents.

suwoo · 26/03/2010 12:20

English with Cultural studies. I am shitting myself at how I am going to manage with the three kids and working evenings.

nickschick · 26/03/2010 12:22

Suwoo it will be worth it ....arent you excited? which uni will u be at?

ToccataAndFudge · 26/03/2010 12:30

I've never used a childminder, or a nursery (apart from the free LEA places) but if I had to/could choose I would choose a childminder........and I'd make sure I found one that would be doing those very things that you think they shouldn't be doing.

I would want someone who will make sure my child is fed and clean and happy obviously........but then I would also want them to have something similar to what we do together as well. Now my children don't much like going shopping........but it's one of those things that "must be done" - and so they are (slowly) learning to like it, and if a childminder looking after one of my children took them to the supermarket in a grump because they didn't want to go I wouldn't give two hoots.

suwoo · 26/03/2010 12:30

I am very excited, but the overriding emotion is fear . I'm just worried that it will all go wrong and the tax credits will say they've made a mistake and wont pay (the percentage) of my childcare. My childcare is £255 a week .

I'm normally quite lazy and won't know whats hit me!

Mouseface · 26/03/2010 12:32

YABU - It's fresh air!! Much better than being cooped up infront of endless hours of TV? No?

Firawla · 26/03/2010 12:36

yabu it sounds fine to me, if my children were at a childminder i wouldnt mind them going out in the buggy to shops or to get some things done. im sure they are not out in their buggy running errands for the whole day. i dont see the problem at all

nickschick · 26/03/2010 12:42

Ouuuuchhhh @childcare su - youre gonna be fine!! once you get going it will be great.

Ripeberry · 26/03/2010 12:46

As a childminder I would only go to the shops with my mindee if I was on the way to or from a softplay, playgroup or park.
Childminding can be very isolating and it is good for childminders to get together at playgroups or go to each other's houses.
That way the mindees get to see lots of other adults and children in a safe enviroment.
My own children went to a CM when they were under 3yrs old and they have benefited lots from it.
Nurseries just seemed too 'boring' as there would be in one building or just outside it, at least with a CM you get to see lots!

booboobeedoo · 26/03/2010 12:46

samx - do you also have parents full and written permission to be on MNet while minding their precious ones ?!

bonkerz · 26/03/2010 12:53

this could also be said for my sons school! he is 10 and every week he goes to the shops and their favourite place to go on a trip to is the local coffee shop where DS gets to buy a milkshake and a biscuit! nothing wrong with it and children learn all the time from these experiences!
I used to be a childminder and was never at home really what with toddler groups, soft play, park, other childminders houses and god forbid trips to town!

onepieceoflollipop · 26/03/2010 12:59

I would also like to add my support for cms.

Well, I can only speak about dd's cm.

A few weeks ago she took her to Asda.

The reason? Well it was to buy wellies for dd and her other little mindee to wear in the snow/mud. She would not let us reimburse her.

Last week she took her to town. again

The reason why? She had a last minute opportunity to take them to a children's show at the local theatre.

Oh, and a few months back the children were taken to a cafe (honestly, she even had the cheek to give me photographic evidence!)

Anyway, the reason? They were on a special day trip and after the journey she wanted to treat them.

My point being that to the outside observer, tall of these examples might have suggested the cm was doing her own thing.

Oh, and dd loves the school run, especially as it means she gets to see her big sister in the playground (sister goes to wraparound care at the school)

porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 12:59

new again

I am with you on this one. I think there is a HUGE difference between popping to the shops and cafe (fine, of course) and spending all day doing your own thing with them strapped in.

They are PAID to provide care for the children, that means take them to playgroups and do play activities. If they are going to cafes every day and chatting with mates whilst kids are strapped in, its taking the piss.

I turned down one childminder as I calculated that my baby would spend almost 3 hours sat in buggy whilst she did school runs, not the end of the world. but not what I wanted for my baby.

there are good CM, and there are bad at the end of the day

its gonna kick off here

MangoTango · 26/03/2010 13:04

How do you know the childminders you see around town aren't taking the mindees to music groups/toddler activities in addition to having the audacity to do the school run and buy lunch?

bonkerz · 26/03/2010 13:05

In one small trip into town you could cover the whole of the EYFS......

PSED: Children must be provided with experiences and support which will help them to develop a positive sense of themselves and of others; respect for others; social skills; and a positive disposition to learn.
Providers must ensure support for children?s emotional well-being to help them to know themselves and what they can do.

SO BY GOING TO A COFFEE SHOP THE CHILD IS LEARNING HOW TO BEHAVE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS AS WELL AS MANNERS ETC.

CLL: Children?s learning and competence in communicating, speaking and listening, being read to and
beginning to read and write must be supported and extended. They must be provided with opportunity
and encouragement to use their skills in a range of situations and for a range of purposes, and be
supported in developing the confidence and disposition to do so.
LOOKING AT SIGNS IN SHOPS AND MENUS IN COFFEE SHOPS AND TALKING ABOUT PRICES AND WHAT TO BUY ETC

PSRN: Children must be supported in developing their understanding of Problem Solving, Reasoning and
Numeracy in a broad range of contexts in which they can explore, enjoy, learn, practise and talk about
their developing understanding. They must be provided with opportunities to practise and extend their
skills in these areas and to gain confidence and competence in their use.
TALKING ABOUT MONEY, COST OF THINGS, SHAPES AND COLOURS OF THINGS THEY SEE.

KUW : Children must be supported in developing the knowledge, skills and understanding that help them to
make sense of the world. Their learning must be supported through offering opportunities for them to
use a range of tools safely; encounter creatures, people, plants and objects in their natural environments
and in real-life situations; undertake practical ?experiments?; and work with a range of materials

LEARNING RULES OF SOCIETY, PAYING FOR ITEMS, SEEING DIFFERENT PEOPLE OF ALL AGES AND CULTURES, INTERRACTING WITH COMMUNITY.

PD: The physical development of babies and young children must be encouraged through the provision of
opportunities for them to be active and interactive and to improve their skills of coordination, control,
manipulation and movement. They must be supported in using all of their senses to learn about the
world around them and to make connections between new information and what they already know.
They must be supported in developing an understanding of the importance of physical activity and
making healthy choices in relation to food.

EXERCISE BY BEING OUT WALKING ETC, TALKING ABOUT SMELLS AND TYPES OF FOOD IN COFFEE SHOP.

CD:Children?s creativity must be extended by the provision of support for their curiosity, exploration and play. They must be provided with opportunities to explore and share their thoughts, ideas and feelings,for example, through a variety of art, music, movement, dance, imaginative and role-play activities,
mathematics, and design and technology.

OFFERS OPPORTUNITY TO SEE FIRST HAND SOME SITUATIONS WHICH CAN BE USED IN ROLE PLAY IE SHOP PLAY ETC. THIS SCAFFOLDS CHILDS LEARNING AND ALLOWS THEM TO DRAW ON OWN EXPERIENCES AND EXTEND THEIR OWN PLAY!

bonkerz · 26/03/2010 13:09

Obviously the OP will understand the EYFS as they have been so quick to judge the childminder they have seen and obviously the OP will have been following said childminder for the whole trip to know that they hadnt spoken to the children they were minding and therefore could not have been teaching the children anything! Children learn through interracting with their environment, play is an essential part of this learning process BUT without adult support and guidence and an adult scaffolding a childs learning then the child can not extend their knowledge and progress as valuable learners!

LMAO can you tell im currently doing my degree! LOL

TheCrackFox · 26/03/2010 13:11

A lot of parents choose a childminder because it offers a more homely environment than a nursery.

I know a few childminders and they take children to playgroups, toddler activities, the school run, art galleries, the super market, the bank, the park, the local cafe for a cake etc. For a two year old all of these things are all part of learning about life.

ToccataAndFudge · 26/03/2010 13:14

"They are PAID to provide care for the children, "

So when you are caring for your own children does that mean that one of those days when you have to go to the bank, the supermarket, have arranged to meet a friend for a quick coffee, and do a whole host of other tasks that involve leaving your child strapped in their pushchair for a reasonably large chunk of the day that you're not caring for them?

When I travel up to Edinburgh on the train and my DS's are stuck on a train for 6hrs does that mean I'm not caring for them?

onepieceoflollipop · 26/03/2010 13:16

Surely all of the examples given are the business of the cm and the parents. No one else's business at all imo.

(obvious exception is if there is mistreatment)

LoobyLoo09 · 26/03/2010 13:19

If this was the OP childminder and she knew for a fact they were being dragged round town all day then fair enough.

Im a CM and agree that this shouldnt happen.

What makes me laugh is OP is jumping to conclusions without knowing any facts. "oh a CM in town....i feel like CM bashing today what can I assume???"

Its pathetic and unfair when you dont know the facts.

porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 13:20

this is going to get silly

CM popping to the bank, library, fine, never said it wasn't

CM basically doing exactly what she wants to do all day, sod the kids, shove em in a buggy = not fine

If I am paying for childcare I expect them to get the majority of their personal admin done in non-work time so they can use their WORKING time to care for the kids, or course noone expect them to spend 100% of the time doing kid stuff, but the ratio can be warped

cant people bear to admit that some CM are a bit shite? or is there some unwritten law?

anyway, can OP come back please!!!!!

onepieceoflollipop · 26/03/2010 13:20

exactly Looby.

And if the parents concerned don't communicate with the cm and don't know that this is (allegedly) happening then that is their choice/business.

Shoshe · 26/03/2010 13:25

You know, if we didnt have a CM bashing, at least once every couple of months, how would us CM's ever get lots of praise from everybody who uses us and loves us

BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2010 13:26

porca, no-one is saying that there aren't 'bad' CMs around, just that the OP seems a bit erm sour

If the children are being strapped in for half a day then then is of course not acceptable but I don't for one minute believe it. I mean, half a day is what 4 or 5 hours. Nah don't buy it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread