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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit miffed that I'm being punished over ex stuff?

34 replies

bintofbohemia · 26/03/2010 10:27

We've been having a clear out and things have come up, letters, photos etc from exes. I've just binned a shedload, but DH has got something in his head about an ex of mine and as a result has been all distant and withdrawn from me for the best part of a week. I found some stuff from one of his exes too, which wasn't nice, but I had a word with myself and got on with it. He's barely talking to me, sleeps as far away from me as possible, and it pisses me off. I know it's hard, but I've been essentially shut out in the cold all week and it doesn't seem fair.

OP posts:
Seabright · 26/03/2010 10:32

Has he told you what the problem is, exactly? I think he needs a sit-down-talking-to.

Have you been together very long?

porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 10:34

hell get over it, just the jealous type I guess. mine is the same even tho its OK that his ex sent a gift for our newborn!!!!

something is making him insecure clearly, try and get to the bottom of it?

TheLadyEvenstar · 26/03/2010 10:35

Tell him to grow up fgs. Not much else you can do, he must have realised you were not a nun prior to getting together with him.

I have photos and letters from 2 exes, one of them is a friend on MSN and Facebook, he and I often talk and if i need help with anything he will help, DP knows about this and is fine with it.

Original poster
bintofbohemia · 26/03/2010 10:43

I know what he's got the problem with, and admittedly it isn't a nice thing to think about, but it's basically the same sort of thing that I had to deal with. I know how hard it is as I was/am pretty jealous myself, but I tend to internalise it, where as he freezes me out. But after the best part of a week am feeling a bit indignant about the whole thing. I'm not well, I'm at home with two young kids all day and in the evening I get a moody man who won't engage with me.

We've been together nearly 7 years and we're totally solid which is why I've overcome some of the jealousy stuff. I have slept with quite a lot more people than him though and I think he really struggles with that. I am still friends with my exes and on the whole he's been cool about it. Dunno how cool I'd have been if he was, to be fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
bintofbohemia · 26/03/2010 11:40

I've just told him he has to sort it out because I'm fed up with it now. It's making me really angry, actually, I've got enough on my plate.

OP posts:
mitfordsisters · 26/03/2010 13:50

Sounds like he is being an a**e - 10 minute sulk is okay, 1 week is pathetic and a bit mean.

Original poster
bintofbohemia · 26/03/2010 14:25

Thank you. I have had a word and told him it stops - otherwise I'll just start going out in the week and seeing friends every night rather than sitting in with a man who won't speak to me beyond the necessary. I think he's also feeling a bit tired and fed up but I get a bit sick of his issues being taken out on everyone around him.

OP posts:
moondog · 26/03/2010 14:32

Why or what isn't it a nice thing to think about?
You've got me curious now...

BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2010 14:35

yy we need to know what the thing he has a problem with is

thumbwitch · 26/03/2010 14:36

God, a week is too long to sulk over something that happened some time ago (presumably) and is long gone. IF he found a note from your ex that was written in the recent past suggesting infidelity, he might have a leg to stand on, but he should just have it out with you, not retreat into his icecave.

Take the fight discussion to him if he won't start it.

moondog · 26/03/2010 14:38

Dogging?

BitOfFun · 26/03/2010 14:51

Group sex?

confuddledDOTcom · 26/03/2010 14:57

I'm not naturally a jealous person but especially the past! My OH said that he didn't love his XW and only time he ever said he loved her was part of their vows. I don't know if it's true (I know they were a BF/GF thing and only stayed together because they got pregnant with contraception, they've never kept that secret from anyone) but I told him then not to say it if it was a lie for my benefit because I'm not stupid. I loved my XH and still regret it went wrong, but I'm glad because I have a better model

Anyway, he needs to grow up, the point is it was the past before he met you, you left them but are with him!

TheLadyEvenstar · 26/03/2010 15:19

Bum sex??

BitOfFun · 26/03/2010 15:27

Tea-bagging?

thumbwitch · 26/03/2010 15:28

I am NOT going to google tea-bagging, I am NOT going to google tea-bagging, I am NOT going to google tea-bagging....

repeat until it sinks in...

IamAlsoADreamerOfWine · 26/03/2010 15:29

What is tea bagging

thumbwitch · 26/03/2010 15:32

aaaarrrrrgggghhh! Didn't repeat it enough!

NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
NEVER google dodgy terms on MN
...

confuddledDOTcom · 26/03/2010 16:22

thumbwitch, how long have you been here? Have you really not learnt?

TheLadyEvenstar · 26/03/2010 16:24
porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 16:25

Teabagging is a slang term for the act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth of a sexual partner.

porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 16:26

I had to google it, pretty tame no???

spill OP, scat love?

TheLadyEvenstar · 26/03/2010 16:28

I think it was bumsex!!!

porcamiseria · 26/03/2010 16:29

yeh, esp if hes not getting bumsex, that would REALLY piss off my DP !

TheLadyEvenstar · 26/03/2010 16:35

porcam see thats how i was thinking lol