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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to believe I can trust dh and his colleague to behave like adults?

47 replies

Bibithree · 24/03/2010 12:40

Apparently, according to a now scandalised staffroom, I am.

DH is a massive KISS fan, has been since his teens. He's been with another colleague, female, to see Kiss tribute bands as she is also a big fan, so when I saw the tickets were on sale I mentioned asking colleague if she wanted to go too as I didn't really want to, but would if DH really wanted to go (he did).

He asked colleague, she jumped at the chance and they are off to Sheffield together to see them and are sharing a twin hotel room so they can both have a drink and not have to fork out on two hotel rooms.

I have no problem with this, however when dh mentioned it in the staff room yesterday the rest of the women were aghast even asking "Does Bibi know?" As if they were sneaking off for some dirty weekend!

Is this sucha bizarre situation or are they all highly suspicious of their dhs?

OP posts:
Plumm · 24/03/2010 12:43

I think sharing a room is a bit odd, but you obviously trust him and I'm sure if they were planning any funny business they wouldn't have told you about the shared room.

YANBU - it's nice to see you can trust DH.

GetOrfMoiLand · 24/03/2010 12:45

I am not scandalised, however I do think it's a bit odd.

I wouldn;t share a room with a colleague, male or female, and I would not expect DP to share either. Unless it is family or a very close friend I think it is a bit wierd.

CoronaAndLime · 24/03/2010 12:46

Not if you are happy about it.

I'd imagen that if you had any doubts or worries about the pair of them together you would not want your Dh to share a room with her.

I wouldnt blame you if you were not happy about it though, but seeing that you are ok with it then, good for you and your Dh!

Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 12:46

They are good friends, they socialise and have mutual friends because they like the same music, go to same gigs etc. If it was just a colleague I might think it was a bit odd, but then so would dh.

OP posts:
BlairsWitch · 24/03/2010 12:46

You know your dh and the colleague and you obviously trust them which is great. It's nice to hear of a relationship like this occasionally! YANBU.

porcamiseria · 24/03/2010 12:47

concert, yes
sharing room, no

hope she is a munter with a beard !

dawntigga · 24/03/2010 12:48

I'm not in the least bit scandalised but I think DH is BVU to want to want to watch anything to do with KISS

DonsHardHatAndWaitsForTheKISSArmyToShowUpTiggaxx

MinnieMalone · 24/03/2010 12:48

Main thing is that you're Ok with it.

My Dh goes to football (including away trips) with a female friend and I don't bat an eyelid. They don't, however, share a room, which I do think is slightly strange.

Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 12:48

And to be honest, if I were going to a gig with a male friend, a long way from home I'd expect dh to be fine about me sharing a twin room too. I'm starting to think we're odd

OP posts:
ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 24/03/2010 12:49

I would have no problem with everything up until you mention they will be sharing a room. I would find that odd. However, you know your DH best

Poledra · 24/03/2010 12:49

Well, actually, reading your OP, the other women were asking if you knew. Which you do. But (I'm sure you'll agree) if you didn't know, it would be well dodgy. So not an over-reaction, IIMHO.

Still think it's odd, mind you. Like GetOrf, I would not share a room with a colleague unless they were also a good friend (and have in the past refused to share with a female colleague whom I had never met).

LisaD1 · 24/03/2010 12:50

I wouldn't like it but I'm not sure why exactly, just my wife head says no way!! Yet, when I was younger I had lots of male friends and would often share rooms with them and nothing untoward ever happened so not sure why it would bother me now, but it would and I would not be a happy bunny!

However, you clearly are ok with it so it has nothing to do with anyone else.

Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 12:56

Tigga, I agree it vexes me that he wants to spend his hard earned cash on Kiss, but I guess he feels the same about my Twilight dvds/books

To be honest, the room sharing think is purely common sense. It's costing enough for the tickets and petrol, if they can shave £50 off the cost of the day then so be it. I'd rather that than one of them drive 4 hours up and 4 hours back after a concert at silly o'clock in the morning.

DH is very comfortable around women, male primary school teacher, most of his uni friends were women, most of his colleagues are now women, they're just friends. If I thought for a second he or she weren't trustworthy I'd ask him not to share, obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 12:58

munter with a beard
No, she's not, but she will be in full Kiss makeup, so that should put a dampner on any ardour

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 24/03/2010 13:03

speak for yourself bibi, woman in full kiss attire.... wild horses and all that.

mayorquimby · 24/03/2010 13:04

As long as she's not the star child, nobody likes the star-child

LoveBeingAMummy · 24/03/2010 13:11

I think its great that you have this sort of relationship with your dh. If he was still at uni no-one would bat an eyelid to him sharing with a girl who is a friend. He should have had some fun with his collegues and said you didn't know

Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 13:33

Lovebeingamummy, my evil side suggested to him this morning that they both go into work the Monday after and completely avoid each other's gaze and not speak as if something did happen That would set toungues wagging!

OP posts:
Oblomov · 24/03/2010 13:35

I guess i think the room sharing is not the norm. nor particularly odd, but not the norm. I mean presumably they are staying at one of these £49.99 jobbies, so i couldn't see why they couldn't stretch to seperate rooms.
but i guess that in this day an age, people would consider it unusual.
If dh got to a hotel and there was only one room left, i don't think he would care. actually, i think he would tell the woman she could have it and would sleep in an armchair. but then he is quite old fashioned and chivalry, type.

Original poster
Bibithree · 24/03/2010 13:41

I guess it sort of saddens me that they don't think two adults in long term relationships could possibly resist the temptation of jumping into bed with each other just for the hell of it.
Like you say, if I'm not bothered then it's no one else's business, but I really don't think it's that odd. He wouldn't do it with any of his other colleagues as she is the only one he's socially connected with.

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 24/03/2010 13:59

Sharing a room - no way

Going to see a concert with another woman - no not keen on that idea either.

But i think it's great you trust your DH not to be tempted at all.

Pitchounette · 24/03/2010 14:53

Message withdrawn

Poledra · 24/03/2010 15:05

See, when I answered you, I thought it was a colleague, but actually she's more of a friend, which is a bit different.

Mind you, DH probably wouldn't share a hotel room with a female friend as he wouldn't want them to see his lovehandles moobs spotty bum manly frame

LoveBeingAMummy · 24/03/2010 16:37

They have to do that

LeQueen · 24/03/2010 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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