in thinking that Mumsnet is a bit like a cult?

[addictedmnetter]

You start off all nice and friendly and innocent. On the pregnancy board probably, lurking on posts debating strange twinges and what to put in the work of art that is your birth plan. You just pop in once a week or so, in your lunch hour at work.

Then you might move onto the childbirth board, with optimistic thoughts on perfect births with slightly darker undertones that are easily glossed over, as it it would never apply to you of course. You're probably in the final stages of pregnancy and coming up to maternity leave, so popping on once a day by this time. You start to understand what DH and ROFL mean.

You might take a short break at this time.

Then its back onto the parenting/behaviour boards, and more than likely the sleep board. You register and take the scary step of posting your first desperate thread. You hover over the computer several times a day hoping somebody has posted the magic answer that will make it all better. When the baby sleeps, you mumsnet. You start to fib about the amount of time you spend on mumsnet. Its starting to get a bit less friendly, you learn not to mention SWSNBN, CC, routine.

A bit further on, you might have got childcare sorted out. Maybe even have some free time to crack on with the huge to do list that has been unattended for months, or just take a shower and go to the loo by yourself. Oh the unimagined luxury, you have been dreaming of this day forever. The world is opening up and it is beautiful.

But no, you open up the computer instead. Its AIBU and Chat by this time, no pretence at problem solving. You know its going to be a while, so you have a cup of tea and some biscuits ready (which kind?). You start believing that Mumsnet is the one true parenting forum, and joining in laughter at other forums with tickers. You start to recognise some posting names, and Those Who Shall Not Be Disagreed With or 'troll' shall be shouted. All members are asked to monitor and report those who step out of line.

Finally you sit at the other end of the sofa to DH of an evening, no words spoken, DH watching Top Gear, you with mumsnet open pressing F5 as you follow the penguin thread. No more pretence, no shame at the amount of time you spend on mumsnet. You are proud to be a mumsnetter. It must be OK because its in the papers now. Never mind that nothing in RL is getting done, its not important any more is it?

Heehee, that's soooo true !!

Wow i think my heads gonna explode, thats alot of mumsnetting

You ought to read Lifecycle of a birthboard over on Babycentre. Very funny.

sadly true

That's exactly how it goes! You forgot to mention the times when your DC is having 'freeplay' and you are so busy reading a classic thread that you forget you have a child and only remember when he has been suspiciously quiet for too long, and you find him pulling all the rizlas out of your packet and chewing on a lighter....

Excellent observations there- very true

I jumped straight in to Chat an AIBU though- I think that means I was a frothing fanatic from the outset....

So true.
And then your family members will tell you that you have addiction problem, and you will deny it, saying you can stop whenever you want...

By the time i discovered MN my DCs were toddlers so missed the naive innocence of the baby boards.

But your observations are so true, except in our house DH watches footie while i MN!!

OMG! thats exactly what happened to me!

and now im completely unembarrassed and will quite often start a sentance with "well there was this thread on mumsnet...."

i just wish i had found it when i had DS1, its my link to the outside world and sanity. and i dont care who knows it

I only came across MN once DS1 was beyond the baby stage and I'm glad of that TBH or I would have been reading the birth sections and baby sections and getting into a pickle with all the advice on there! I had worked out for myself how I wanted to parent a baby by then so could appreciate MN more for the AIBU and Chat sections.
It is a bit like an addiction - I feel quite proud if I can't even remember the last time I MNed

PMSL

YANBU it is all so true

if fact I'm not convinced that you arent a spy who has bugged my house, it's soooooo accurate he he

I have an image of one day visiting Sittingbourne, going into the children's bookshop there, and asking to speak to the owner. When I know that it is the owner, I will pull open one side of my jacket, to display the mn logo on my inside pocket. Not for any reason. Humans love a granfalloon.

Historically all good cults have offshoots and schisms, and I think that mn had that too.

It's not a cult though, because you can leave.

But can you Antioxidant? You're still here aren't you?

Phew, I namechanged to post this. Thought it might just be me.

Positive reinforcement from other cult members.... argh, maybe I really have been indoctrinated and am just in denial that it is a Bad Thing

Extremely good use of the term 'granfalloon' there btw.

Thank goodness for Top Gear then!

Its like napalm - (if the tabloids are to be believed) sexual napalm ... (Sorry for lifting your words John Mayer)

Oh Christ, too bloody true!

[shuts laptop and ignores MN for the rest of the day]

Maybe we could all share coping strategies and tips on how to re-integrate into RL?

On second thoughts, that wouldn't be helping much would it?

So true but omg what does F5 do?

F5 = refresh

I've had more exciting new toys

Aha good stuff, thanks.