You start off all nice and friendly and innocent. On the pregnancy board probably, lurking on posts debating strange twinges and what to put in the work of art that is your birth plan. You just pop in once a week or so, in your lunch hour at work.
Then you might move onto the childbirth board, with optimistic thoughts on perfect births with slightly darker undertones that are easily glossed over, as it it would never apply to you of course. You're probably in the final stages of pregnancy and coming up to maternity leave, so popping on once a day by this time. You start to understand what DH and ROFL mean.
You might take a short break at this time.
Then its back onto the parenting/behaviour boards, and more than likely the sleep board. You register and take the scary step of posting your first desperate thread. You hover over the computer several times a day hoping somebody has posted the magic answer that will make it all better. When the baby sleeps, you mumsnet. You start to fib about the amount of time you spend on mumsnet. Its starting to get a bit less friendly, you learn not to mention SWSNBN, CC, routine.
A bit further on, you might have got childcare sorted out. Maybe even have some free time to crack on with the huge to do list that has been unattended for months, or just take a shower and go to the loo by yourself. Oh the unimagined luxury, you have been dreaming of this day forever. The world is opening up and it is beautiful.
But no, you open up the computer instead. Its AIBU and Chat by this time, no pretence at problem solving. You know its going to be a while, so you have a cup of tea and some biscuits ready (which kind?). You start believing that Mumsnet is the one true parenting forum, and joining in laughter at other forums with tickers. You start to recognise some posting names, and Those Who Shall Not Be Disagreed With or 'troll' shall be shouted. All members are asked to monitor and report those who step out of line.
Finally you sit at the other end of the sofa to DH of an evening, no words spoken, DH watching Top Gear, you with mumsnet open pressing F5 as you follow the penguin thread. No more pretence, no shame at the amount of time you spend on mumsnet. You are proud to be a mumsnetter. It must be OK because its in the papers now. Never mind that nothing in RL is getting done, its not important any more is it?