to not want to go over to PIL or allow the children to go over....

[Mischamushca]

because they have decided that instead of FIL working they will grow and sell marjuana in there house?
Both FIL and BIL(who still lives with them) smoke it.
They ar in financial ruin on the verge of bankruptcy and this is there so called way out.

I am British but we moved here last year to be closer to them (foreign land to me)
They are sponsors on my visa!

We are suppose to just accept it, however the extended family do not know anything about it.

Please tell me i am not over reacting by not wanting my children over there. I personally do not to have any contact me or the children with them!

you are not over-reacting

what does your partner say ?

Hmmm tricky

Of course YANBU but on the other hand, if they are perfetly decent grandparents it would be a shame to deprive your DGs of having a relationship with them.

What is the penalty in the country you are in for that kind of crime?

Keep away and keep your Dc away from this situation you may loose your visa
what does your dh? say I am v anti drugs so will say no more but don't endanger yourself or you dc

omdb ?

eh ?

I would allow them over to my house, but would not let my children stay where illegal activity was beng done so openly with no thought to the consequences

OP...is it illegal in the country you are in ?

Hmm...I seem to be spending at least some of the day agreeing with Any Fucker

YANBU

ha-haaaaa, angel

are you stalking me ?

Ah yes, forgive me, the children could still see their grandparents and uncle at the OP's house couldn't they? So they wouldn't be being deprived of a relationship.

OP yanbu to keep your kids well away from their house if they are growing and seelling drugs there.

You want to stop your children having a relationship with their grandparents because you don't like the plants they grow?

Sure keep your kids away from the dealing, if illegal. Beyond that yabu.

So my DH didn't tell me for a few weeks initially, because he knows my feelings on drugs i am very anti drugs. Now he feels the same as me,but won't deal with it. Would rather just not speak to them as doesn't want to confront the situation.

It is illegal in this country and i have researched the penalty. it can be a prison sentence, fine either or both.

I found out this on Christmas day when i walked into the "greenhouse" in the garage.
They have been arguements, threats horrible things said over the past few months and it is just really getting to me now?
They bascially think its all me, i don't want to be here, before i found out it was all ok etc. I have seriously considered coming back to the UK just to get away from it all.

Not intentionally AF

Although I could take it up as a new career

< quivers >

Sorry OP I'll stop hijacking now

Do you have friends where you are?

Have you said to them that they can visit you but you are not happy to visit with your DC's?

What have they threatened you about?

YANBU

We did say initially that they can come visit at our home but we won't be going over to them. It is mainly FIL he blew up, saying we think we are better than them, nobodies business what they do etc.
MIL suffers from depression and threatened to kill herself because of what we are doing?
She has finally got her medication sorted i think and now is all happy again, doesn't mention what is going on just trys to act like everything is ok.
i have seen FIL2-3 times since christmas and everytime has been very awkward.
We are invited to Family events and don't want to go because none of the family no what is going on and we don't want be there with them and something blows up!
We have had to tell the children who were going there once a week that they can no longer go over there, and they are upset by this and don't understand.
I have aquaintances here but made no real friends as such yet. Don't know people well enough to tell them what is going on.

nobody's businss what they do ?

I expect the police would think it was their business

what idiots they sound

you should stand your ground, and make sure you partner is supporting you properly

What are the other family members likely to say? Is there any chance that you would get further support from them if they knew too? I would encourage DH to tell the other family members if they are likely to back you up. Sounds like they do actually need other people involved.

But to answer your thread, no YANBU to keep them away, but ,maybe you could still have them to your house.

I wouldn´t take the children there & tbh I would be quite happy for the children not to see them.

Can you say which country it is? Give us a clue - Europe? Asia? Middle East?

I dunno though. My "impression" if you like of what a grandfatherly figure should be is some middle aged/elderly gent who plays with the grandchildren, spoils them, brings them sweets etc etc. Not a drug dealer! A drug dealer FFS. Can't believe one or two have no problem with this.

I don't know what country you are in but it is sure to affect your visa if you are caught at their home.

I wouldn't let MIL or FIL emotionally blackmail you either. Explain you don't believe you are better than them but you don't want to expose you children to illegal goings on and you don't want your visa to be an issue.

You might also want to consider what would happen with your visa should your PIL be caught.

As they are your sponsors I meant to say

What they're dong is illegal just growing it but you never know who is going to pop round to raid/buy....definitely keep your dcs away.

Thanks everyone, i was thinking i was overreacting but i'm glad others feel the same.
Tryharder that was exactly my feelings a drugdealer for a grandfather.
We are in the states.
I don't know what would happen with my visa if they were caught. This is what upsets me most s they are jeopardising my residency here by what they are doing. Every day i have to live in fear of what if they are caught. I have tried to research it with no answers.
How hard it is to get a legal job?
We can not be seen with them in any shape i feel due to if they are being watched then we will be watched, but that then means the DC will not beable to see them?

If the rest of the family found out they would not be supportive of them however i do know that MIL's parents already know and they have just accepted it i suppose!
I have to face DH's great grandma, MIL grandma who doesn't know and she asks if we have seen them, asks if FIL has a job, and i know they regularly borrow money from her.

Such a dilemma with no easy answers.

MIL is very manipulative makes family events all the time at other peoples houses knowing we won't go. Feel like we have to avoid other family members so not to bring it up. What if DC say we aren't allowed over to grandma and grandpas anymore?