in thinking that just kissing someone else isn't so bad?

[foreverastudent]

when you are in a relationship (but not married)

A peck on the cheek between friends is one thing. A full on snog is unacceptable. That's how I feel anyway.

BritFish, I saw that. He was REALLY nice.

Re the subject generally, it depends on the stage of the relationship and the context of kiss / snog. However, no matter when it was done I would not want to know the particulars.

People who kiss and tell their partners because they "feel guilty" are weak. Live with your guilt or don't do it is my view.

It depends... if you're a cabin crew on a stopover somewhere exotic, you've had a few drinks, then go for it. Live for the moment, enjoy the kiss. Life is far too short.

Ah. my husband and I have actually quite throughly thrashed out the niceties of this. WE are allowed to kiss others of the opposite sex on the lips for a period of 3 seconds. Any more and that's infidelity. Them's the rules and we are both quite happy with them!

What, even if you're in a committed relationship OneStone? Nice...

I saw that One Born Every Minute, the first episode I've seen. Freaked me out to see someone I knew quite well a year or so ago give birth live on TV. (Not the ceasarean lady, the other one.) Very weird, I felt almost voyeuristic.

ok, the consensus seems to be pretty much in the Iabu camp...

does it matter if the DP of the guilty party has a 'what I don't know, I don't want to know' attitude to these type of things?

How about if your own DP doesn't do kissing and you haven't had a snog for years and really really miss it? Is it okay then?

oh stop being so bloody cryptic, OP

have you seen the debate you have initiated?

spit it out, ffs

Just because my husband didn't want to know wouldn't make me want to kiss someone else (the thought is a bit weird, maybe I'm weird) and wouldn't make it right in my eyes.

This is something that should be agreed within the relationship and it doesn't matter one bit what anyone else thinks, feels or would do.

But "I don't care what you do, just don't tell me about it" doesn't seem very loving.

Also, if you already kissed someone else (and this sort of activity is not something pre-agreed in your relationship), confessed to your other half and all he can say is "Just don't tell me about it" - you've hurt him, I bet my last rolo you've hurt him deeply.

It works for me.But I accept I'm probably in the minority.

oi, shiver, get thee on yahoo.

totally loveless (almost) sexless relationship of a few years standing, 2 kids, only together for their sake...the same story that has been played out a million times before

the kiss has now become an offer of an affair

is it really so wrong?

Yes. It is wrong. If your marriage is not working, then you should either fix it, or end it and be friendly co-parents to your children. The kiss was never "just a kiss", was it? Which rather goes with what people on here have said about it not being something which is OK in most relationships.

What muminscotland said.

What CheerfulYank said.

what Condensedmilkaddict said

Hey dont get personal, i'm just an observer!

In this case there is absolutely no possibility of a 'friendly' break-up.

if both parties are ok with it surely a (happy) open relationship is better than an acrimonious split?

I dunno. I've never seen a happy open relationship. I don't deny their existance, but the ones I've seen have ended bitterly. (Never been in one myself-I'm a jealous cow, I am. )

If they are both genuinely clear that the marriage is over, and they are now co-parents who happen to share a house, then it might be possible to make it work. But it's very rare to find two people who are both at that stage of being no longer interested in each other in that way and totally happy about one of them starting a new relationship, while still living in the same house - it would take a massive change in attitude from "my wife/husband who I'm struggling in my relationship with" to "my ex who I share the house and the rest of my life with, but I don't think of sexually at all, not even to feel a tiny bit jealous". It's likely to cause a lot of stress, which I think would be more harmful to the children than an amicable split would.

YABU - kissing someone else can mean as much as sex.

Being 'in a relationship but not married' is irrelevant, if there is the expectation of mutual fidelity.