as the wife of the NRP, to hate the CSA

[CoolTumble]

We pay on time every month. DH has done since his ex cheated on him when dsd was 2, through a private agreement.

I meet dh 2 years later and 8 years later,when I fell pregnant she went straight to the CSA and because dh was doing a little bit of overtime to buy things for new baby it pushed our payments up. Even when dh stopped doing the overtime, they wouldn't reduce it even though he could prove he was no longer doing overtime. Had to go through a tribunal to reduce the payments to the correct amount.

Now I'm pregnant again and she has gone to the CSA again and our payments have increased again based on a once off bonus dh recieved before christmas, that has never happened before and never will. The increase hs also been backdated to last year which means we are in arrears, dispite paying every month. The CSA want the money straight away and will not let us pay it over a period of time. So we cannot afford to go on the very cheap haven holiday we have booked in may as we will have no spending money. This would have been dd's first holiday and I'm so upset I could cry.

And even when dc2 is born, our payments will not be reduced by a fair amount as my second child is only entitled to 5% of dh's wages which I think is disgusting.

Hate the CSA

ok - what I see of this (never mind you lot jumping on the OP for being selfis blah blah blah is that

Her DH worked extra overtime for a short period of time to buy baby bits (they do tend to be a one off expenditure thing and lots of people can afford a child but can't affod the cot/pushchair/car seat all in one go without extra money). CSA (rightfully) increased their payments........which was fine until he stopped doing the over time - but then they had to fight to get the payments reduced to the correct level again.

Now her DH has had a bonus at Christmas and they've upped his payments again because of a one off payment that he received - so the amount they are paying has been upped again, and back dated, despite the fact that their regular income doesn't actually support this amount.

From what I read of this (RP with no financial support from XH) it's got nothing to do with them being able to afford annother baby or not - but a lot more to do wit the CSA being a pile of wankers.

Thanks TAF, that's exactly how I see it and I was about to do a post to say what you have. This is a CSA cock-up, nothing else.

poor op, some of the comments on here are really out of order. OP is angry and frustrated with CSA and sounds fair enough why she is.

To be told not to have any (more) kids of her own is just ignorant and stupid tbh.

TAF that is how I read it as well, from what I saw there was no problem with the payment being made on the one offs, but the backdating to make all the payments to the same level as the one off bonus payment. That is a little unfair if the rest of the year the salary is far less. It seems this family are paying their way unlike many other ex p's.

Eagle "the EX WIFE IS TAKING THE PISS" - Your words exactly. - sounds like you have some issues!!

Why don't you think this man should pay for his child? I would love to know your reasoning.

As you can now see this little girl is NOT getting the incomes of THREE ADULTS (in bold type!!! argh!) so just who should be paying for her?

I take it you belive if some of the dad's wage is given to him in bonus's then this money should only go on his second family?

I don't set my knickers on fire, but i do try to use the facts given and not hype threads up.

CSA really are twats.

Start of last year I got back together with XH. Told benefits etcetc and we carried on quite nicely (well it wasn't really as it turned out - but that's another thread), 5 months after we got back together XH got a letter from CSA

We have been trying to contact you, please contact us urgently.

huh - they obviusly hadn't tried very hard.........he'd been on benefits for nearly a year at that point, and had been living in the same house the entire time, and had the same phone number - there had been no phone calls, no other letters.

Rang them, oh yes we want to make sure that you're still paying what you should be.

No I'm not he says, we're back together - so they asked to speak to me and I confirmed this.

Then they asked me if this I wanted to chase up any arrears that he owed for me............ermm yes like that's really going to help me if you take some of our benefits to pay back to me .

So - they said they'd close the file.

A few days later he (and I) had a letter.........confirming that they had closed the file for DS3..............but not a mention of DS1 or 2!

little moon - where does the OP say that he shouldn't be paying for the child?

As far as I can see she's fine about making payments - just not ones that are unfair and dispproportinate to the income they actually have - given the payments are based on a one off.

The CSA took a one off Christmas bonus and then based EVERY monthly payment on this. How is CoolTumble or her DH in the wrong here? The CSA are basing monthly payments on money that they are not earning. I know that many people on here have a lot of trouble with the CSA from the side of the mother receiving the payments, but why does that mean that you can't accept that they make mistakes and make people's lives harder from the other side?

From my own experience, the CSA have two issues:

1. Fathers who stop working/are self employed/ work for cash in hand/ lie about their income - therefore make it difficult to get money from and CSA can't be bothered to chase them for the money

2. Fathers who work and give CSA all the details that they need. As soon as the mother puts in a claim that father has a change of circumstance (in our case, this was completely not true, in OPs case it was a one-off bonus), then CSA immediately change the payment. If the father makes a claim (either to argue the changes made or to report a drop in earnings), then it takes around 6 months (plus hundreds of phone calls, sending and re-sending info as they claim they haven't received it) to get any payment changed.

(have used 'mother' and 'father' for clarity - I know that it can be the other way around)

I think that a lot of people on here have had a bad experience of the CSA from one side, and are putting their negative feelings onto CoolTumble. I think that those people need to accept that the CSA don't just screw things up at the receivers' end, but at the payers' end too.

Toccato - I was talking to Eagle

THIS IS WHY I BELIVE OP IS WRONG:

Her husband did overtime and did not tell CSA about it as he is legally obliged - his ex-wife had to.

Her husband had a bonus and did not, again, tell CSA about it as he is legally obliged - his ex-wife again had to.

This has obviously cocked up his arrangements and trust with the CSA who may not now belive that the bonus was a one off (many men use bonus's and cash payments as a way around paying maintenance)

This is entirly down to him and if he had been strait with them in the first place he would not be in this mess.

agree Purple

actually your posts reminds me about when XH was working and they first calculated the payments he had to make to me. At the time i was still living in the family home, contributing a little towards the mortgage out of my benefits, and he was paying the bulk of the mortgage. He was also paying a LOT of debts that we had incurred trying to set up a business a few years before - although it was all in his name.

I knew this, and acknolwedged that while I had left the relationship virtually debt free he had taken the entire burden on himself.

CSA will (apparently) take into account debts that were "taken out of the benefit of the family" when calculating how much they have to pay the RP. However despite him, and me, repeatedly telling them about the business debts actually being for the benefit of the family (hell if it had taken off we'd have been sitting pretty fgs) they refused to take them into account at all and set a figure that was so high it was beyond belief and I knew (from having been through all his finances previously) that with paying the debts from our relationship, plus the bulk of the mortgage, and his own bills in his new house there would be no way on hell he could afford those figures - the money simply wasn't there

I just read a novel by Ann Widdecombe called "Father Figure" which really lays in to the CSA for there shocking incompetence (it is told from the point of view of the "non-resident parent" the father in this case)

OK I know this is a work of fiction but she had clealy done a deal of research for this and I just thought that some of you who have had bad experiences with CSA might be interested.

Purples comments about payments being put up immediately when the payers circumstance change but taking about 6 months to reduce them if payer want to make a claim are certainly covered in thsi story.

Hi Cool tumble, its a shame that you are being penalised just because his ex feels she is entitled. I would make sure your DH shuts his mouth about any increases he gets with his salary from now on.

He has to support his kids sure, but i can never understand why the CSA assume the first kids are more important that the second lot of kids.

Does the mother of his child work or is she a sponger?

"Does the mother of his child work or is she a sponger?"

I'd hazard a good guess that she's working if she's calling the CSA up to make sure that increases get noted..........as there would be absolutely no point in her calling them if she's on benefits, unless he's earning/paying peanuts

If your dp is paying what he should be paying OP, you are not being unreasonable. There are plenty seperated parents out there putting their selfish needs before the needs of their children.

Well, he has two children who are equally entitled to his money. If he earns a little extra why shouldn't his daughter benefit?

I'm another person who made a conscious decision never to date a man who had children, I couldn't stand not being first and then our children not being first. My opinion has always been if a man has dcs then they come first, before the next woman, and then when they have children they should all be treated equally.

If you want extra income you should earn it and then you won't have to give it to dsd.....

ok maybe I'm just being thick as usual, but the OP seems to have had no problem with the extra money being paid WHEN HE WAS EARNING MORE, he's not earning more now, but is still expected to pay more.

Cool Tumble???????
That rings a bell.
Are you related to Wash with care and all your laundry aliases?

OP does clearly say that twice the ex informed the CSA of altered earnings and not her DH....omission is still dishonesty.

gosh I think you are all being really harsh on the op..

The csa arw a bunch of fanny farst and as much use as a golden syrup tea caddy.

As a resident and or a time for one nrp parents who has been messed about and lied to both ways and have a catalogue of errors and miss calculations that we all know are wrong and have tryed to all get sorted.

One month they paid me someone elses maintennence, antoehr motnh my ex contacted me to say he still had a job and was suprised to learn form the csa that he hadn't got a job - his boss was also suprised when the csa told him. Someone in an office had made him unemployed when he wasn't...

the figures for the csa are set - its just the persons that deal with it all that make sooooo many mistakes that it is a farce and no wonder they want to deal with you on the phoen - they dont want written evidence of lies, and yes I have been lied to and told the person who was not happy and me having written the onverstaion down and the date and time and the persons name - which was her own!

Makesure you keep details of every thing said every phone call every daty and time.

call them or write to your mp if you think thye have got there calculations wrong.

be open and honest and up front and you will have nothing to worry about.

Eagle - WHERE did I say she lied - you are AGAIN making things up.

If your circumstances change re bonus's or overtime you are bound by law to inform the CSA. They did not. His ex-wife did, TWICE.

His daughter is entitled to a portion his wages as maintenance and that includes bonus's and overtime as I am sure he is WELL aware of.

As we all know if you do not disclose earnings to the CSA they get annoyed as it can then take weeks to sort out, for everyone involved. I have a blended family myself and I am well aware of the extent some people go to to hide earnings.

I think it was stupid of them to not disclose earnings and they have no-one to blame but themselves. I am also not a big fan of the CSA and think that it should be replaced by something just don't know what!.