To never EVER go back to that school ever agin. EVER.

[meatntattypie]

For the love of all things good on this earth.

Fucking hell.

I fell.
I fell over on the road outside school.
flat on my fucking face, on my face.

Tripped over ds fecking scooter and fell, scraped my face all over the pavement, grazed my knee (like you do when you are 6)

So AIBU to never go to the school again? I could change ds out of that school as health & safety clearly is not a priotity to them, if they allow grown women to actually fall on their pavement outside school....

am a foolish fuckwit and feel like i have died a thousand deaths, blushing from my knickers up....
sigh.

Can you match that for embarrasment?

'Can you match that for embarrasment?'

At my college ball I ran onto the fairground ride (the sort with double-seaters on extended arms being flung out as it goes around) as it was stopping (no Health & Safety at private events) only to get my laura ashley strapless ball gown (was very early 90s) caught on one of the struts, which dragged my shin across another part of the metal arm taking all the skin off and almost taking my foot off. Then as I attempted to stand up in front of a crowd of aghast onlookers, the machine moved again and tore my entire dress off. In front of about a hundred people under floodlights.

Beat that. Agonizing pain and slapstick humour and aching embarrassment in one 4 second ordeal.

Bloody hell doris! I was about to post about the time I body-surfed down the stairs into the staff coffee area at my new job (high heels, polished stairs) and landed at the feet of some nice man who wanted me to stay still till he found a first-aider (whereas I leapt up and did hte Walk of Shame to my office), but it's way too tame to follow yours

Well my ageing knicker elastic gave way at my graduation. We were all queued up to walk into the hall and I felt it go so I did a legs together and managed to reach my seat without them actually getting below the bottom of my skirt. And had to squirm them off and into by sleeve (I had no bag) before I had to go and collect my degree. I was only wearing knackered knickers because I was going home soon and was too idle to do any more handwashing

Much sympathy OP.

As usual I took my 7 year old DD swimming last thursday after school and we both went into a changing room. I hadn't locked the door properly and leant on it wearing only my knickers. The door flew open and I fell out and landed on the floor. God, I am blushing just thinking about it

My DD burst into giggles as did everyone else that saw me, I was and still am mortified - not been back yet!

YANBU

BTW lmao doris! Think you win hands down!

i fall over ALLLLLL the time it is like my feet give up the pretence of helping me stay upright and turn to jelly i trip and tumble and land in a heap so often that my DH doesnt even ask if im ok anymore

one time when i was a student i went to a disco there was a guy there who i had admired from afar for a while so i thought, given that i had a (what i thought was) sexy red dress on (A-line, low cut) with tights and high heels, i felt like a million squid i decided to go and chat up talk to said handsome dude... my heel caught on a polished bit of floor and i skidded about 8 foot towards him shreiking like a witch and landed in a heap right in front of beautiful man with my sexy red dress above my waist showing of my oh-so-sexy (and admittedly very badly thought out and very unfashionable and/or rather unhygeinic) black tights with a pair of spanx pants over the top

needless to say i didnt pull on that particular night

oh this has had me laughing like a loon at the laptop.

doris yours wins.

i was only thinking a last year that i hadnt fallen over as an adult when one night the dog decided to do a runner as i let him out. i ran down the bumpy drive after him, in my pyjamas and dressing gown, got my slipper caught in a paving stone, had my hands in my pockets and couldnt get them out in time so landed unceremoniously on my head and knees, arse stuck up in the air, feebly groaning the dogs name as if he really had chosen to do a runner at that moment there was really nothing i could do about it.

i had to go to hospital for broken toe, broken ego and very very grazed knees. im ashamed to say i cried but i couldnt believe how painful grazed knees were!!

it MUST hurt more as a grown up!

Doris do you go to many college reunions ?

During the Foot and Mouth Crisis I went to a National Trust Roman Villa. The entrance was at the top of a flight of concrete steps. I fell UP the last few and ended up on my hands and knees in the disinfectant trough

If I hadnt of shouted 'oh shit' I reckon only a few no one would of noticed

Bless you OP. I started at a new school for a short period (as a teacher)a few weeks ago, and a lovely student was asked to show me to a classroom. As I turned through 180 degrees to get up the ramp (outdoor ramp) I somehow got the top of my shoe caught in the hem of the other leg of my trousers. I fell flat on my face, as both legs were stuck. I was so embarrassed! The boy was lovely, and I shrugged it off with a smile and a 'silly me', but I was mortified! When left alone I really felt like bursting into tears (pregnant and hormonal anyway), and the graze has only just gone!

Oh no!!!
Mrsc has reminded me of 2 winters ago when I got my boot stuck in my trouser hem and fell outside tesco- i was in such a knot I couldnt even get up- and 2 dainty girls,friends of ds1 tried to lift me up .

Hahaha, I know the magic pants you mean...objects of torture.

Hahaha, I know the magic pants you mean...objects of torture.

Am aching now from the power walk home methiks.....

SO glad there are other fuckwits out there who throw themselves around the floor in public.....

DH and I were running for a train into work, when I slipped on the steps and fell.

It bloody hurt and I tore my tights - BUT luckily I had blood pouring out of my leg, making it look much worse than it really was, so I got loads of sympathy.

And I got a seat for once.

Poor you! But you tell an amusing story.

If only you could have seen my DH donning roller skates for the first time in his life at 46 years old. And the people gesturing to me that he might be drunk when he wasn't.

I have too many embarrassing moments to mention.

I walked smack bang into a lamppost a few years ago -in a complete daydream and really did see stars.

Most recently I nearly blacked out at the Will Young soirée that MN sent 3 of us too. Baking hot hotel, standing room only, free booze and no dinner (although had only actually had 2 glasses of wine). Last song and the world started spinning - MarsLady and McDreamy looked round to find me sprawled against a pillar all sweaty and nauseous...cue them barrelling me across the room, ejecting people from a sofa and propping my legs up on cushions while the hotel first aider came along wanting to call an ambulance (cringe).

Turns out I was newly pregnant! Will Jr due in July...

Update....
Went to parents evening and bitch teacher did not snigger so i think she did not see said death plunge outside school, so as a result we like teacher again now, she is ok.

No one approached me in the play ground this morning to enquire after my health following my "accident" although one of the mums did say "see you later....be careful", swung round quickly away from me and i SWEAR i saw her shoulders shaking as if laughing....

"BE CAREFUL MY ARSE"
Hmmmmmm.
Thee were witnesses it seems...

Be careful comment was a little uncalled for, although I can't say I wouldn't have laughed if I'd thought of it.

Glad bitch teacher didn't notice. Hope you feel a bit better about it now.

I went to Amsterdam on my own a few years ago. I was bursting for the loo one night. Took me ages to find a bar so i could use the loo. I went barelling through the door missed the step and landed flat on my face!! Turned out i was in a gay bar! Not that it worried me. I was sitting there having the drink i had to buy when my mobile rang. It was my best male friend who is gay, when i told him where i was he said it was the safest place i could find to be in Amsterdam!!

Brilliant thread meatntattypie, thank you.

MrsViK I was in tears reading your post.

Doris yours sounded too painful to laugh at - though if I had been there I might have laughed if you hadn't been so badly hurt.

My dad is a master of comedy falls that usually involve a ladder, hammer, a shaky table or wheelbarrow (to prop said ladder up a bit higher), and occasionally a window just below for the ladder to crash through - he is brilliant at telling these stories too.

I have had some brilliant falls, I always start laughing after a comedy fall - usually the drink has numbed the pain.