To never EVER go back to that school ever agin. EVER.

[meatntattypie]

For the love of all things good on this earth.

Fucking hell.

I fell.
I fell over on the road outside school.
flat on my fucking face, on my face.

Tripped over ds fecking scooter and fell, scraped my face all over the pavement, grazed my knee (like you do when you are 6)

So AIBU to never go to the school again? I could change ds out of that school as health & safety clearly is not a priotity to them, if they allow grown women to actually fall on their pavement outside school....

am a foolish fuckwit and feel like i have died a thousand deaths, blushing from my knickers up....
sigh.

Can you match that for embarrasment?

ROFL at you lot.

I've never fallen over in public. Ever. And especially not on the way to work at the tube station and had to be scraped up by other passengers... who turned out to be customers at the bank where I was the manager. And I most certainly did not have a skinned knee and laddered tights which stayed that way all day because we were so short staffed there wasn't even time for a wee nevermind the surgery required to separate knee from tights. Oh no. Not me

I can only manage not to fall over if I'm pushing a buggy. Not going to be easy once they're teenagers.

YABU as it makes the rest of us look less clumsy.

Mrs Vik

Shall I make you feel better with the tale of the mum who fell over last week - at SWIMMING!

Sadly I didn't witness it but the mum apparently tried to take a short cut through a notoriously slippy corner of the pool, fell over, arm and side dangling in pool. Luckily a very swift dad managed to help catch her or apparently she would have gone right in! It's always been my fear at swimming but never though it could actually happen.

My latest embarrassment, altho thankfully not public, was whilst playing it with the DCs. I legged it out the back door at pull pelt but one of my crocs (yes I know, I deserved it for wearing them) caught in the lip bit of the back door and I fell straight on my knee and hand. Hurt so much I cried!

DS1 and DH tried, but failed, to muffle their laughter!

oh crap, i need to go shopping and have to drive passed the school.....

how long does it take to process emigration papers?
Was thinking Australia.

Urhm, did something fairly similar when I already had a broken wrist, to avoid landing on it I did a semi somersault on the road outside the off licence and dry cleaners that we used (nearly everyday) we had to move from one side of the country to the other for that little incident.

I am feeling all your pain 'tis also bring back painful (but funny from my friend's point of view) memories...

I once walked straight into a lamp post in the centre of Coventy - was blinded by the sun coming over the top of a building an executed a proper cartoon smack in the face. Sadly the lamp post was next to a major road junction and all the traffic lights were on red...

And then I fell out of a car right outside the school gates at ten to nine (foot caught in seat belt, bag in each hand, perfect "Del Boy" fall onto my face.) My friend almost peed her pants laughing until she saw my nose spread across my cheek bones... I managed to bolt upright and stagger into school with as much dignity as I could muster, whimpering quietly with blood running down my chin...

Get yourself a balaclava, simple .

(What I mean is simple solution, not calling you simple.)

Oh dear to all of us! I did a massive slide and fall years ago in the ice whilst rushing (in heels, what a dumbo) to catch a train. To make it worse, I was picked up by a lovely young man (ooooh, young maaan!) who then had to catch me again on the train when I fainted after a combination of being stood up for too long/the heat of the carriage/possibly effects of earlier fall. But in my head, I have rearranged it all to sound wildly romantic.

Crikey BendyBob - I think I might be your mother - my falls are too numerous too mention. The majority seem to involve my left knee which now resembles a hideous gnarled tree trunk it has received so many bashings. The most recent was a couple of weeks ago when I tripped over a small stone whilst walking the dog - great pain and much rolling on floor - whilst looking around to make sure noone had seen. Knee v painful as had fallen on it a few weeks previously when I tripped over ice at the stables. Then there was the time I was crossing the road in London and tripped over those little bumps they have to help blind people cross the road - those left some lovely indentations on my knee. Had to spend a day at a training course with a hole in my trousers. Tripped out of the back door once with a bag of rotting fish in my hand - and watched by the neighbours as I sprawled across the patio. DH now says he can tell when I have fallen by the way I walk up the garden. Someone once said I might have dyspraxia - I think I am just clumsy. Boiledegg - I'm a Saddleworth lass.

I tripped over getting off a bus when I was quite heavily pregnant, and twisted my ankle. The world went white and I had to sit down on a handy bench while I worked out if I was going to faint. In the baack of my mind I was thinking oh, I bet people are quite worried (cos I was pregnant for the first time and so I was a Sacred Vessel, you see), I should maybe reaassure them.

About five minutes later I felt okay enough to stand up and walk to the office, and this old lady said to me 'Och, you feel better now. It was only a little trip, but it's easy to overreact isn't it?'.

Then I went to work and said, do we have an ice pack? And got told to see if there was maybe a bag of peas in the freezer.

Oh! When I was eighteen I had a big party in a friend's house, one of those old fashioned ones with a hallway down the middle and doors off.

And I was quite drunk and standing in front of a closed door, talking to someone, and I went to lean nonchalantly back against the door, and you can't look backwards to check the door's closed if you're being nonchalant can you, and it turned out not to be.

So I just leaned back and back and without bending, or apparently changing expression, I just went over backwards like a plank of wood.

I'm in my thirties now and some of my friends haven't let me forget that.

I once tripped on a kerb in a bus station (when I was a student, years ago) and fell backwards.

I had a massive rucksack on (start of term) and so rolled around in the way of a stranded tortoise for three hours two minutes until someone helped me up.

I cut the back of both ankles on the kerb as I fell and banged my head - it was only when I got back to Uni I realised I had cut my head and had blood all over the top of my backpack, in my hair and all down my shoulders!

Still pales into insignificance though compared to the time that, as a teacher, I fell up the stairs at the end of lunchtime and broke my wrist in front of the entire school, or so it seemed!

No-one has ever given me a Mr Bump plaster

I went to ride my bike down an alleyway but didn't spot the cycle barrier. It took me a while to work out why my bike was still going down the alley and I was sat on the floor. It really hurt! There were no Mr Bump plasters but a nice man did untwist my handlebars for me.

I did once fall into an ornamental fish pond at my friends hen party, I was mortified, the waiters were so gorge and I was so wet and young.
I fell into the lake last year, an afternoon watching your family swim accompanied by a nice bottle of wine is great. What's not so good is the deckchair being made of paper (it seems) and collapsing when you try to catch a ball and then depositing you in the lake you were trying to avoid because of an irrational fear of fish.

MrsY I did exactly that - but it was 3am and there was alcohol involved - so it didn't even hurt until the next morning and I never told anyone (until now)

When DD had just started to use the toilet we were watching a cricket match at DH's club when she said she needed a wee. As she had only just started, she wasn't giving us much warning so I scooped her up and ran to the toilet with her, failing up some steps on my way, landing face down, straddling DD so as not to squash here. She let out a screech and everyone turned to look at me and the players stopped playing to see what the commotion was about. I picked her up and went to the loo to hide. I had to face these people for the rest of the season (And every year since)

Tortoise - you actually did the full "Delboy in the Winebar"! wow!

To help you all along with this, I fainted on Saturday night, at my husband's black tie work do. In the middle of the dance floor. And after we had gone to all that effort to think of ways of disguising the fact that I am 2 months pregnant. Oh well....

Same thing happened to me!

But I was actually scooting along on DS's scooter and hit a pile of dried leaves right outside the gate, right in front of HUGE crowd of parents.

Oh, how they laughed.

Oh, how I didn't.

We've changed schools.

Ah, this brings back memories. I walked into a bar in my nice icy ski boots, went upstairs to find a table and only then managed to fall completely arse over tip. It was one of those falls where you really do not have time to put your hands down. Oh the shame - I hadn't even had a drink yet.

What made it worse was that everyone was really concerned at my lack of ability to move my right arm (due to bashed collar bone and shoulder) and made a massive fuss.

To this day DH enjoys telling people about the time I fell over in a bar.

There must be something in the air today then. As I was walking DS to nursery (late as usual) there was a bloke riding his DC scooter back home. As he got to a curb he tried to to a little kick flip thing with it and promptly fell off. Luckily he managed to stay pretty much upright, I dont think I could of managed to keep a straight face otherwise!

My dh fell over doing the dads race on sports day

I bent down to look at something in Baby Gap and my boot got caught on my skirt and I toppled onto the floor and landed on my knees.

ha ha I've just remembered falling over in a restaurant on the way to the loo. I was with DH before he was DH (just good friends) and slipped on the floor.

The people at the table behind DH saw everything and thought it hysterically funny. There was pointing and laughing I thought I'd brazen by just staying splayed on the floor but unfortunately that only drew more attention so I had the entire restaurant gawping as I stood up... including DH who didn't come to help because he was too busy laughing.

I managed to limp strut away and hide in the loo for 5 minutes.

The laughing started up again when I came back from the loo. Bastards.

i fell over in front of my reception class, whilst teaching them how (not) to skip.

They laughed!

But did make me pictures later once i was back from local a and e where several parents worked! "how did you do this Mrs Ginger ..... ?"