Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnancy test pictures on FB?

61 replies

cluckyduck · 20/03/2010 07:44

A friend has just posted a photo of her clearblue digital pregnancy test on facebook. It shows she she conceived 1-2 weeks ago. It's a recent result, she is only just pregnant.

AIBU to think this is a bit early to be sharing such information with so many people? So much can go wrong . I don't want to be a boring cow, but shouldn't you keep it private for a while?

OP posts:
midori1999 · 20/03/2010 14:39

I don't think I would post a pictur eof my test, but I did post on Facebook almost as soon as we found out, so was only 5/6 weeks, and we also started telling people.

DH's boss/friend, said 'ooh, is she 12 week salready?' when he was told and when H said I was 5/6 weeks, he just sai d'oh, good luck then, I hope it all goes well'. Twit!

As it turns out, my waters broke at 14+ and although I have so far managed to get to 17+6, the risk that I will miscarry is still very high. So, in our case, waiting untl after 12 weeks wouldn't have made a difference.

TrillianAstra · 20/03/2010 14:52

Saying 'good luck' to someone who is pregnant makes you a twit, midori? If that's the case then I shall just refrain from saying anything to pregnant people ever again.

AFAIK 'good luck' is the second-best phrase to utter, after 'congratulations' - so many people have horrible morning sickness or SPD as well as more serious worries that wishing someone a pleasant and uneventful pregnancy seems to me to be a nice thing to do.

TrillianAstra · 20/03/2010 14:53

And I do wish you good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, whether you like it or not!

EggyAllenPoe · 20/03/2010 14:59

well, first pregnancy i told everyone i was so excited! but then it went poo. since then, have been much more circumspect,

i think this is what you do because you don't expect anything to go wrong, so there's nothing wrong in that, as you don't want her to learn the hard way that life isn't always to plan like that...

midori1999 · 20/03/2010 15:00

He was implying that he hoped we got to 12 weeks as we were telling people before and didn't think we should have done so. (further comments have been made since, but oddly, he hasn't said 'good luck' since my waters broke. He is very old fashioned and also very sexist, and he's a twit without even saying that!) I have had three previous uneventful pregnancies, so I had no reason to expect anything would be different this time, plus, I really think it is up to each person/couple to decide when they want to tell others.

Bumperlicious · 20/03/2010 15:09

'It's a very personal thing - to be honest, if more people announced their pregnancies early, then there would be much more awareness of how common miscarriage sadly is, and then maybe those going through it wouldn't feel so alone, and as if maybe there's something wrong with them'

I completely agree with this. I am certainly very open about being pg, even when I had bleeding at 6 weeks. And if people ask how I am I tell them honestly! Though I appreciate not everyone is like that, but I really struggle to keep it to myself, don't know how people can keep quiet for 2 months! I struggled to get through the days for the past 2 months.

I don't think I would be so personal as to put my pg test on FB, though I have kept them both!

mrsbean78 · 20/03/2010 15:25

midori1999, I had a similar thing with a female colleague who I had to tell at nine weeks as we were delivering training together and I had violent m/s. She said: oooooh, it's tricky, when it's your first you're so sure it will be okay, I hope you don't regret telling me.

I understood why she said this, but it made me feel terribly naive and silly. And quite anxious.

cece · 20/03/2010 15:29

I didn't really tell anyone except close family and a few close friends till I was 24 weeks with DC3! Managed to hide it under my coat through the winter. Then people started to notice the bump once coat was off in Spring...

So no I defintely wouldn't be putting it on FB so early!

Pebbles71 · 20/03/2010 15:30

I have all 6 of my pregnancy sticks with writing on the white stick with a permanent marker stating day and time I tested and when I concieved and when due....the first one i did was 20 years ago though and you had a stick and stuck it into a pot for 10 mins then another pot for 10 mins and another for 10 mins it was the longest 30 mins of my life....I was 19 as well and my son is 19 now.....its lovely to look back at the stick...we went on to have another 3 children,4 in total and 2 miscarriages but have all the sticks which all look as good as the day I did them,sparkling Blue!!!

LittleSilver · 20/03/2010 16:05

No should or shouldn't about it. And 12 weeks isn't a magic date; I waited til 12 weeks, told everyone then promptly mc

LittleSilver · 20/03/2010 16:07

Oh yes, I remember telling my best friend's evilsister I was pg (about 9 weeks along). She said, oh, you shouldn't have told me that, you might miscarry now. And I did. And in some weird medieval way I blame her for that and have never forgiven her.

violethill · 20/03/2010 16:08

It's up to individuals what they choose to share. But I must admit, I find it very odd that some people seem unable to live their life without displaying almost every aspect to an audience, which I think is a worrying symptom of the age we live in.

It's almost as though an experience isn't validated unless it's been shared and discussed and played out in public.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 20/03/2010 16:20

violethill that's a ridiculous thing to say. There is nothing wrong with sharing your good news with great friends and people you love. After all, as others have said, far better to have people to support you if things do go wrong. trying to cope with a MC in secret and bottling all those feelings up in public could cause more pain in the long run.
I personally think it's a bit precious to be keeping it a big secret till 12 weeks, SIL did this and DH thought we should at first. Hell no, share the joy!!!

violethill · 20/03/2010 16:23

I said it's up to individuals what they choose to do. My second point was a general one, not specifically about this woman's pregnancy test

MrsTicklemouse · 20/03/2010 16:26

tbh I think I'd be more "eeewwww she's weed on that!" than it's a bit early! but that's just me!

I have kept mine but really don't think they should be for very public

and like others have said 12 weeks is not a magic number

DuelingFanjo · 20/03/2010 16:30

YANBU - I F***g hate it. I know someone who put about 10 tests on her facebook. It's just awful. I also can't really understand people who put their scan picture up as their profile picture. WTF is that all about?

Even the people who put tests pictures up retrospectively get on my tits. I hate it with a passion. I tend to hide the feeds of people who do that to be honest.

DuelingFanjo · 20/03/2010 16:33

just read back and seems I am in the minority. Ah well. i just think it is really really odd that anyone would use facebook to announce a pregnancy and if they do, doing it with a picture of a positive test is positively wierd!

3cats3dogs · 20/03/2010 18:20

A FB friend of mine has announced twice in the past few months that she was pregnant, then later had to announce her miscarriages

I share with close family and friends, but would never, never share on FB.

Bumperlicious · 20/03/2010 18:35

Oh yes MrsBean, I told a colleague who I also knew was pregnant and she just looked at me like this and said 'should you have told me that?', it got to the point this time that I felt embarrassed telling people like I was breaking some kind of taboo, but I am really not someone who can keep this sort of thing quiet, especially when I felt so awful with it!

chegirlWILLbeserene · 20/03/2010 18:44

I have seen several threads on another forum (they are pretty regular) where people post pictures of tests and then ask if the are +ve.

In most of them they are clearly -ve but there are pages of responses say 'I can definately see a really faint line', 'I am sure I can see something there hun congratulations'

The OP then goes on to take about 5 more tests (sometimes even more) and gets increasingly desperate. If anyone dares to suggest they may be stressing themselves out they get flamed by people calling them heartless. The threads can go on for days.

The OP has usually tested because they 'just have a feeling they are pg' but go on to say they are on the pill, had a period etc.

The OP always gets really upset because they are of course not pg and its all a bit weird and sad.

Sometimes they have been ttc for ages and that just makes it even more sadder.

It just couldnt happen without the internet.

LadyBiscuit · 20/03/2010 20:55

That's insane chegirl

dillydallydolly · 20/03/2010 21:50

I wouldnt do it and it annoys me also the whole scan photo as profile pic or when people have those countdown clocks- pregnancy, birth, wedding etc. its all way Too Much Information for my liking but thats the thing, its just what 'they' do like!! and it is kind of the purpose of facebook - to let your friends know what your up to, have been doin since school etc.
Although I dispute anyone has more than 200 friends in real life and accepting someone who you spoke to one time at a friend of a friends party 'just to be polite' lets them have access to all your info, pictures, countdown clocks etc and really you dont know that person, its all a bit crazy dont you think??

PrivetDancer · 20/03/2010 22:11

I wouldn't post it on facebook at such an early stage as I wouldn't want to have to announce a miscarriage to all and sundry, but I have told friends and will tell family as I see them. As has already been said I have / will tell people who I would want support from should anything go wrong.

I am, however, looking forward to announcing being pregnant on there, probably after nuchal scan. It is the point of facebook after all, to share your news and catch up on other people's! I don't understand people who go on there but don't even put photos up or mention anything personal.

LilQueenie · 21/03/2010 01:26

well we are having ivf and certainly wont be telling anyone. Can do without all the hassle. A few people know but not all for a few reasons. I think its nice she is so excited but she could have a lot to deal with if it goes wrong.

DuelingFanjo · 21/03/2010 10:28

See, a little part of me (if I do get pregnant) really really wants to announce on Facebook that it was done through IVF and after a miscarriage. Though I know that would be really shocking to some people. If asked, I think I would talk about it on on facebook though.