Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To expect nursery to wipe my childs bum?

63 replies

Confuzzeled · 19/03/2010 15:42

DD will be 3 in a couple of weeks. She goes to nursery 2.5 days a week. She moved into the pre-school room a few weeks ago. DD is toilet trained but like most toddlers, can't wipe her bottom properly after she's had a poo.

After she moved to the pre-school room she started coming home with poo stained pants. I've asked them twice to make sure her bottom is clean and they've told me they'll try as the kids can just use the toilet by themselves. Today I picked her up and as soon as we got home I noticed she was smelly. There was a bit of dried poo and it had spread all over her knickers. The fact that it was dry makes me think it had happened this morning and had been like that for hours.

She doesn't poo in her pants but I know she would go for a poo and not wipe properly, this is clearly whats happened again.

Is to much to expect a member of staff to go to the loo with her and wipe her bum if she has a poo?

OP posts:

Whoamireally · 19/03/2010 21:38

OMG I can't believe that a lot of replies think is acceptable behaviour for a nursery not to help young children with toileting - horrendous

Apart from anything else it can make them quite sore to sit all day in their own poo.

LaDiDaDi · 19/03/2010 21:45

OP YANBU, really if my elderly dementing gran were left in her own poo by her carers for that length of time then I would not be happy. Why should it be different for a child?

Dd will be 4 in May, she is just starting to learn to wipe her own bottom though she has been toliet trained for well over a year. It's still not easy for her to reach and wipe effectively.

WherestheDuctTape · 19/03/2010 21:48

i agree with SBQ a bum wiper should be provided till year 2.

I must admit DS 3.5 comes home will poo pants quite often and a sore red touchie and it did upset me at first. I have now been spending lotsa time trying to show him how to wipe bottom and hoping this helps. Now only have to get DP on board with the learning (maybe pick up few pointers) LMAO

onebadbaby · 19/03/2010 22:13

What do your kids do in the toilets to get covered in poo??? Surely after a normal poo we are talking about a little skid mark not smeared from head to foot.

gaelicsheep · 19/03/2010 22:19

When my DS started going to the toilet on his own I was pretty surprised to realise that a nursery worker doesn't go with him. Hence in the early days he needed his trousers changing frequently because he didn't pull them down far enough - I mentioned on several occasions that he might need help with this. And he now frequently has an itchy bum which I put down to not being able to wipe himself properly. Yes he learned the trousers thing eventually, which I guess is the point, but bum wiping is different. It's a health and hygiene thing at the end of the day. And how do they know the kids are washing their hands properly after attempting to wipe their bum themselves?

Cathpot · 19/03/2010 23:02

Onebadbaby, i envy you and your clean poing child, but really for other children its more about quantity than form.

My 3 year old gets in enough trouble with a yoghurt I really am not ready for her to deal with poo. I actually dont know what would happen at her nursery as she has yet to poo there- thankfully she's not there very much and so far she only goes at home. I will ask them having read this because I now I am a little worried they might be expecting her to sort herself out.

megapixels · 19/03/2010 23:26

Gosh I didn't realise that a 3 year old is supposed to know how to clean themselves adequately at that age. Mine cannot and is sent to the toilet by herself and has been almost since day 1 (they say it's to encourage independence but I have a suspicion they're being a bit lazy too) but on the days that she's been I just shower her down when she gets back so she's fresh again. She's only at pre-school 3 hours a day so I'm not that fussed about it really.

coldtits · 20/03/2010 10:21

Activate, I didn't focus on bum wiping at ALL. Ds1 just did it, easily. he was a firm poo-er, and has long arms.

You cannot firm a child's stools and grow their arms by focusing on it.

Actually, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and guess that you either have only one child or that your children have very similar capabilities.

there is nothing like having two very different children to give you a wider perspective of parenting.

mrsbean78 · 20/03/2010 10:30

Don't know about you lot, but I will be paying out as much in nursery fees as I pay for my mortgage.

I think a child shouldn't be let sit in their own poo if they can't wipe properly when the setting is getting £47 a day for their care.

I don't want my child infecting others with germs or other children infecting mine because they haven't wiped and washed properly.

So YANBU.

Dollytwat · 20/03/2010 10:49

I think this depends on whether it's a private nursery or not. My 2 were at a private nursery and they wiped bottoms properly for all the children, and taught them to wipe as well.

However, there is a playgroup locally where they call the parent to come and change nappies and wipe bottoms.

There is obviously a big difference in the price between the two.

If it was my child, and the nursery refused to do this, I'd send them in with some of those wet wipes so that at least it's not a 'dry' wipe and she'd be more likely to be cleaner iyswim.

coralanne · 21/03/2010 01:08

Dollytwat I was just about to say the same about sending wet wipes.

My DD has always sent them to school with her DD.

I use them at home to. The container sits on the wall and I just refill when empty.

Take a travel pack with me when I go out.

I don't think I could stand using dry loo paper so imagine how the poor DC's must feel.

Missus84 · 21/03/2010 01:17

The problem for nursery workers in a preschool room is that there aren't enough adults to always accompany children to the toilet.

If you've got 2 adults and 16 kids for example, and one adult is with children outside, it's difficult for the other to leave a load of children alone to stand in the loos in case someone needs help.

At my nursery the toilets are attached to the preschool room, so children take themselves off to the toilet. If we know a particular child has just been trained or needs help we would always try to accompany them - some children will come and say when they're going for a poo and that they need help, so of course one of us would go with them.

taegsmum · 22/03/2010 07:59

maybe we, as parents, should really try and teach our kids to ask someone to go with them and help...if they need it. saying that, some just wont ask for help, but maybe most will?

Flip

1 2 3