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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed with cafes etc for refusing to give me hot water to warm a bottle?

29 replies

rowingcah · 17/03/2010 20:26

I regularly take out expressed breast milk for DS and regularly get refused hot water in order to warm the bottles in cafes, restaurants and coffee shops due to "Health and Safety". The irony of this is that they are quite happy for me to walk over to my table with two steaming cups of coffee and drink them in front of the LO. So why spout the H&S rubbish? One person even told me it was against the law?!! Bless - he got more than he bargained for when he gave me that line! On asking him whether he felt comfortable about allowing me hot drinks too - I got told that is different as it is a drink?? As a recent thread last week pointed out tragic accidents can happen with drinks too.
Often they tell me they can microwave it but breast milk shouldn't be microwaved and I would consider that more dangerous for the little one than warming gently in hot water!
The hypocrisy and inaccuracy of just spouting a Health & Safety argument drives me nuts. Am I being unreasonable or am I missing something here?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 17/03/2010 20:28

YABU
Get a portable bottle warmer

onepieceoflollipop · 17/03/2010 20:30

Hello, we have had a few other discussions about this, I think other people have found this to be a problem too.

In your position I would perhaps accept that places/cafes/trains in a lot of cases won't give you hot water.

Yes, it's a bit rubbish that they cite "health and safety" as you carry your hot pot of tea or similar across the floor.

Why not buy a small flask and take it out with hot water in it? Would also save you queueing/waiting etc.

You sound very stressed about this.

nickytwotimes · 17/03/2010 20:30

The (normally poorly paid) staff will have to abide by certain h&s guidelines to comply with their insurance criteria. Being rude to them is not on.

DO what I did - take a flask out with you. It's your responsibility to provide the milk for your kid, not anyone else's.

notanumber · 17/03/2010 20:31

Could you not give him breast milk from your breast?

No H&S issues and comes ready warmed...

eastendmummy · 17/03/2010 20:31

You could try taking out a flask of hot water and a large (camping style) mug to put the bottle in. That worked for me when I was out with DS.

YAB a bit U, but I do understand that it seems a bit silly for them not to give you hot water when they'll give you a hot drink.

tummytime · 17/03/2010 20:31

I tend to ask for a pot of tea and an extra pot of hot water. I haven't been refused yet.

notanumber · 17/03/2010 20:35

You can buy special bottle warmer flasks you know.

5DollarShake · 17/03/2010 20:36

"Could you not give him breast milk from your breast?"

I was wondering that...

nickytwotimes · 17/03/2010 20:38

I wondered about why not the breast too...but guess the op has her reasons.

WidowWadman · 17/03/2010 20:38

Just give it cold.

tummytime · 17/03/2010 20:41

Should perhaps clarify that I do use the extra hot water for making more tea. This does seem to be perfectly acceptable to cafe people though.

Shaz10 · 17/03/2010 20:42

Agree with WidowWadman, just give it cold.

TiggyD · 17/03/2010 20:43

Why not order an extra cup of coffee. Stick the bottle in it.

usualsuspect · 17/03/2010 20:43

yabu to be rude to the staff

Original poster
rowingcah · 17/03/2010 20:44

No I can't give breast milk from the breast - that would be the obvious solution! LO never latched on. I wasn't aware of the bottle warmer flasks - so thanks for that notanumber. But I have a number of solutions to get round the issue. I am really just annoyed about the supposed reason they don't give the hot water!

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 17/03/2010 20:48

YANBU, I can't see why H&S rules apply to hot water, and not to hot tea/coffee, madness! Maybe order hot water with a slice of lemon? Thata a drink

MrsVidic · 17/03/2010 20:49

the reason the staff are not allowed to give it is because SOME people will accidently spill it on themselves/ their DC's then sue the company- trust me it does happen.

sungirltan · 17/03/2010 20:50

i dont think yabu. its kind of like the microwaving baby food issue. i remember john lewis many years ago withdrawing the microwaves they had in the restaurant which were for warming baby for health and safety nonsense reasons but noticed at my local national trust that they have recently installed them!

i walked up to a cafe recently with my buggy and noticed a sign on the door saying 'no pushchairs' as i was walking away the owner came out and said 'oh you could come in actually, its not very busy just now and its for health and safety in case there is a fire' so what would he have done if the cafe filled up?

BattyKoda · 17/03/2010 20:51

Same could be said for hot drinks though, no?

omnishambles · 17/03/2010 20:52

I just got my dcs used to having expressed milk and eventually cows milk cold - I could never be arsed to heat anything up...

But yes buy one of the products that does it for you...all the bottlefeeding mums have them and very snazzy they look too...

nickytwotimes · 17/03/2010 20:54

Exactly, mrsVidic.

If society was less inclined towards hysterical litigious action, then h&s regs would be less strict.

DO none of you moaning about 'elf and safety gone mad' ever see those bloody claims direct ads?

gonaenodaethat · 17/03/2010 20:56

YANBU to be annoyed that you can't get hot water.

YABVU to be rude to the staff.

tiredfeet · 17/03/2010 22:14

YANBU in that it seems crazy to use 'health and safety' as an excuse not to give you warm water, like you say, they happily give out warm drinks

But its not really fair to treat the staff like that, if they've been told they're not allowed to then they've got to obey that really

DreamsInBinary · 17/03/2010 22:22

YANBU

This makes me really cross.

The litigious argument does not stand, because a pot of boiled water is no safer when it has a tea bag in it. If they were worried about spillages, then they wouldn't serve hot drinks.

As for someone working in a cafe asserting that it was against the law - I would not have left it unchallenged, either.

parakeet · 17/03/2010 22:33

Presumably if feeding from the breast had been an option for the OP, that approach might have dawned on her by now...Even if it had been an option, there are several reasons why bottle feeding might be more convenient than breast feeding in a cafe (speed, difficulties with latch, not able to do it very comfortably in a cafe chair, etc.) God forbid that someone should dare to challenge the lactivism orthodoxy...

By the way, I would also find it irritating if someone claimed it was against the law to provide a pot of hot water, when it is clearly not. It might, however, have been against their shop's rules, and there's nowt much you can do about that, as you're not forced to go there.