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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to bring up our son in flat only a tiny balcony for outside space?

52 replies

byanymeans · 17/03/2010 11:49

I currently live in a two bed flat with my partner and son. The flat is a reasonable ish size, well everything but the kitchen (which is tiny) but it is not the space that is really getting me but the lack of outside space for our son to play in, dig in, get dirty and generally be a child in.
It is really getting to me a lot; it has been for the past 2 years since we moved here and its only getting worse.
I was lucky when I was a child as I grow up on a farm which is another reason why I hate the flat so much from never being indoors to have no outdoors is hard.
I feel like by not being able to teach my son about nature and plants (which is a very very big thing to me) and that I?m failing him. I do my best with a tiny balcony we have but it so small that one person can fit out there at a time and it not safe for children really.
I don?t know what to do anymore? I can?t afford to save up a deposit to move back it no private rented (nor can we afford the rent)and no one will swap 1st floor flat with noisy neighbors no outside space for a house with a garden?
Me and my partner work hard to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads but I can't help feeling we are failing our son being able to give him a garden to enjoy?

OP posts:
LittleSilver · 17/03/2010 18:47

Not really an answer, just a comment.

Until last year, we lived in a 2 bed flat, no garden. When we first bought it we had an 8mo. Last year we had a 3yo, 1yo and I was 9 months pregnant with another. There was no WAY we could all fit in the flat. It was a reasonable size, not at all poky, but two adults and two children was really pushing it, plus the kids couldn't leave their toys out, DH and I were constantly bickering as a result of being on top of each other, you get the picture. On mat leave with DD2 I used to walk the two hours into town each day (2 hours there, 2 hours back)just to get out of the house.

Then we sold our house (mortgage was stretching us stupidly for not enough room) and we rent a 3 bed house (on a farm, funnily enough!) Kids have loads of space inside, DH and I aren't cooped up, our marriage is sooo much better and our gardenn is 250 acres of land. We don't own it, and I wish we did. But the houses we can afford are either tiny, puttting us back to square 1, or dire. It's too expensive to buy; and I'm not talking about money.

Give me my children's happiness and my marriage before that. Oh, and our quality of living is 100 time sbetter ont he farm than it was in the flat. And it's FABULOUS for the kids.

I had soo many people telling us we were foollish in selling. I can quite honetly say I have no regrets at all. And buying what we can't afford is how the country got into this mess.

byanymeans · 17/03/2010 20:49

LittleSilver: You are so very luck enjoy every day you have there with your family. I remeber my childhood growing up with so much out-side space was so great and though as kids we did with out to stay there it was worth it in my eyes. There is no way you were foollish I would love to be able to do what you and your partner did for your children.
Thank you to every one on this thread for the help, ideas and support.

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