To think my husband is a selifish nasty twat?

[YummyorSlummy]

In tears typing this as h has upset me again. I am not very well with a bug and h is going away tommorow on a course levaing me to look after ds and mad labrador puppy. Anyhow, when he came in from work I asked him to drive to the supermarket to pick up some bits for me and ds for while he was away (i dont drive and quite isolated here so wanted to stock up) so I wrote down a list and asked for some specific stuff explaining where it was etc. So he comes back with completely the wrong stuff as he obviously didnt bother reading the list. i got quite upset because feels like he doesnt care enough to get right stuff etc and didnt offer to make ds's dinner, or even give me a kiss or hug after he'd been out all day and i would have thought cos im ill he's make an effort before he goes away. But no, he refused to go back to the shop, started walking round with a smirk on his face calling me a physcho when I started shouting at him. I said to him ' I just dont get it, you do an important job all day and make an effort there but for me you cant even read a shopping list' and he replied 'well at least i can get a job, you'll never get a job like mine you get rejected for every one you apply for' and then as i walked off crying he was shouting stuff up the stairs at me. i just cant be doing with this right now :-(

Although I agree that the husband´s remark was way OTT & unnecessary, I think they sound like a pair of bickering children.

If I´m too ill to shop then I either tell husband before he goes to work or email/phone so that he can pick upon the way home.

But my husband would be insulted if I gave him directions of where everything was.

As a rule he knows what brands of stuff we use, but really, if he shops he chooses.

I can't stand this "well you are at home all day, why can't you do it" attitude from her not so dh and also some on here.

As I used to say to ex when he moaned about being at work all day "so am I at work all day, the only difference is I work from home, don't get paid and it doesn't end at 5".

Drives me f*cking nuts!

He sounds like a spiteful twat. She made a valid point when she asked him how he manages to hold down a responsible job but can't even read a shopping list and he became insulting and abusive. Standard with men like this.

I got to the point with ex where I would rather have eaten the dogs dinner than ask him to help me with ANYTHING. I suggest OP that you just don't bother asking him for anything at all. Is there any reason you can't learn to drive? I couldn't stand to be at the mercy of someone with an attitude like this.

I don't think I would like it if someone said to me, 'You can hold down a responsible job but you can't read a shopping list' - that's not a very nice thing to say - that seems quite abusive to me, especially as his main crime appears to have been buying the wrong sort of Pringles!

If he'd left her without something essential, like milk, bread or nappies, I could understand her ire, but the wrong sort of crisps is not the end of the world. Though I do understand that when you are under the weather, trivial things do take on a disproportionately big importance, and you can be very sensitive.

Neither of them come out of this looking good, in my opinion, though I do think that the husband comes top in the nastiness stakes (except that we don't know what else the OP said to him - if she was all calmness, and sweetness and light, then his response was utterly unacceptable - but she might have really laid into him, in which case he maybe gave as good as he got).

DH is out now doing a small shop. No matter what he brings home I will say nothing because it it was that important to me I should have done it myself.

If I were the DH in this case I would have interpreted the "responsible job comment" as extremely insulting and hugely disrespectful and would have retaliated accordingly.

IMO if you want your DH to care for your child/clean/shop etc you should accept their ways of doing things or be prepared to do it all by yourself (without moaning).

Why do people feel sorry for him having to go shopping after a day at work?? who does your shopping? I do a shop twice a week after work but don't feel hard done by - it's just something that needs doing.

If when you both calm down, and while you have time to reflect while your dh is away,if you still think he undervalues your contribution in running the house, you could write down the hours of childcare you do, and all the jobs round the house that you do.
One would hope, that what he said was in anger, but if his view is generally that his role is more important, then this needs to be tackled.
Other posters are right, when you have dc, you dont keep working hours, and you dont always get breaks in your day.
Agree with Lpsmum-my dh often did the shopping after a long shift at work, and cooked the dc dinner if he was at home. I was at home, but he understood, that with young dc I wasnt exactly sitting on my bottom all day.

Did you write him a list and underline things with clear instructions on what to get and where...then tell him he was crap because he got the wrong crisps!
Respect goes both ways as does abuse!