After school detention

[Lonnie]

My 12 year old has just arrived home with an after school detention.

Now putting aside any personal issues I have with detention (I dont believe they are a good way to deal with these things but stikcing a pin in that)

My daughter goes to a school that is 20 mins drive away the school bus leaves the school at 3.05pm the detention ends at 3.30. I do not feel it is acceptable that the school expects me to be able to collect her at a time where they have not checked that I am available (as it is I am not on this day because I have 2 other appointments that I am at a stretch to make as it is) the only other way my daughter would have to get home would involve her walking on her own for 20 minutes and then taking the train having to change once again not something I am comfortable with my 12 year old doing on her own.

the other issue in this and that is actually what grates me the most is the reason she has been given a detention is because she has not done her home work (it says in awful almost non comprehensable handwriting even after extention) now usually I would be very well why didnt you do that but in this particular case it is over a piece of computer homework that was saved as a pub file. We do not own publisher in our home it is a £150 piece of soft ware that we have not felt was in our means to buy. Upon telling the school this the first time they simply said they would look into it, nothing was done the 2nd time we told dd1 to get them to print it out for her so she could get it home to do she got told go to the libary, libary says that they cant print out A3 pieces, leaves dd1 again to go to her teacher whom printed out some but not all and dd1 did some of the other stuff on the school computer however you can only book 2x 15 mins sessions of this time and it was not enough for her to get it finished.

now am I unresonable in feeling

1 the detention is wrongly given and that the school is in the wrong?

2 that it is unresonable to expect me to be able to rearrange my schedule (something I cant for that Thursday) to come and collect her (They do lunch time detentions too)

and lastly 3 to out right feel that once the school bell goes at 3.00 then the school has no say in what happens to my child.

I think you're being ridiculous, and your daughter is going to grow up thinking she is above all usual rules.

If the detention has been unfairly given, then tackle that issue, but the rest of your reasoning is a bit precious to say the least.

And as for criticising the handwriting...how someone with such an appalling grasp of punctuation can be so critical is beyond me!

SomeGuy I am a teachers worst nightmare I stand up for my children and I teach them that we shouldnt allways follow authority as they can be wrong. yeah baaad parent I am.. Additionally I grew up in a school system that didnt do any of this hence I know it is possible to grow up and learn respect and manners and behaviour without any of those things. I do not teach my children to not do their homework I do not teach my children to answer back I arrive for parent evenings to glowing reports of my children and I always always get told how lovely manners they have and with dd1 in all of her parent consultations I have had comments upon what a kindhearted girl she is

I dont do such a bad job I do however very much stand up for a load of S* and I belive this is such a matter. If you (ie school) wishes respect from me they will extend that to me the safety of my child is of higher importance to me than if the school feels I am not backign them down and I will not have a teacher tell my child that her safety is not their problem.

I am very strict about homework but do not leap straight to an After school detention. has your daughter missed a homework for this subject before.

First missed homework I put a note in planner and I expect it next lesson.
Second time brief lunch time detention and note in planner
Third time longer lunch time detention and a concern slip to the pastoral system whicb woudl usually trigger further action.
Fourth time and this rarely happens is an after school detention with a letter home.

I would not agree to that after school detention being downgraded to a lunch time one unless there was a serious reason. I would remind you that you had signed a home school agreement and that our school is a good one because parents support us. If you cannot do that perhaps you need a different school.

I would never set a homework that had to be done on a computer though.

Why did you daughter not speak to the subject teacher before the due date rather than just ignoring the issue.

abbierhodes If you had read the entire thread you would know that I am dyslexic grammar especially English grammar really is beyond something I am capable of doing well I can attempt it in Danish my first language if you think that would be more suitable.

"I know also has a duty to keep my child safe IMO that is of uppermost importance"

Hold on, in your OP, your third point was "once the school bell goes at 3.00 then the school has no say in what happens to my child"

Punctuation and grammar are not the same, and punctuation has very little to do with dyslexia.

You are very aggressive.

wastwinsetandpearls she did - twice she has also brought in 2 letters from her father and I about the problem the teacher ignored the first letter and printed out 1/3 of the homework after the second letter.

I don;t understand.

The child was given homework that they are unable to do at home.
they approached the teacher about this problem.
The teacher said they would think about what to do.
Nothing happened.
The child went back to the teacher and asked the school to print it out for her.
They told her to go to the library.
the library told her they couldn't print it.
The child went back to the teacher and the teacher printed off some of the sheets. but not all of them.
Child did the sheets and booked the maximum allowed time on the school computers 2 x 15 minute sessions.
Work not complete.
Detention.

It sounds like a shambles to me, or am I missing something? That if the child had the expensive computer package at home she would have been able to do it no question.

it sounds to me as if the school has unrealistic expectations of how much disposable income their students have, if they are not going to facilitate any other ways of getting the work done.

??

I'm with twinset I think.

And our lunchtimes are only 35 minutes long, so changing from an after school to a lunchtime would require two lunchtimes to be used.

I would agree to rearrange a detention to the following day if it meant the parent could collect, if requested by the parent.

Our detention slips say "In accordance with school policy, this is to inform you of the detention, not to ask your permission".

"I know also has a duty to keep my child safe IMO that is of uppermost importance"

Hold on, in your OP, your third point was "once the school bell goes at 3.00 then the school has no say in what happens to my child"

I could perhaps have placed that differently to me it is of importance she is on the school bus that is the safe way for her to come home that was what I intended to say with that comment

Yes the school does have a duty of care but it also has a duty to treat children the same. Why should your daughter's travel arrangements get her out of detention?

If she knew she couldn't do it at home then she should have done it at school. The school library is available so should be used.

ImSo, I agree.

If you have contacted the teacher about this in advance and she has agreed to your daughter only handing in so much then the school is wrong. It all does seem a muddle.

I accept this may not be the case but when kids come to me whinging about a detention I remind them that a detention happens as a result of a decision they made. They do not have to happen.

I agree that the homework sounds like a shambles, and I think the OP would have got wholehearted support if she'd had posted with that as her only issue. It's her lack of willingness to work with the school that is stopping people supporting her, I think.

Look, ultimately IF your DD has done everything in her power to complete the homework and IF she is telling you every bit of every conversation that she has had with her teacher about it, then No, YANBU about her getting a detention.

I think you need to make a call to the teacher tomorrow and hear what she's got to say. If your DD is as good as you say she is, and I don't doubt that she is, then there has been an injustice.

(I don't agree at all with you comments about after school detentions not being effective, because they most certainly are, but that's for another day! )

ImSoNotTelling you have it in a nutshell yes.. (thank you I thought I was making sense)

Thefallenmadonna I would not have an objection to her having 2 lunch time detentions I would have prefereed it, and the detention note states that exact same thing. (I would still feel it was an unresonable detention but I am aware those are seperate issues)

birdworthington if the school would be willing to change it to a day that I can collect her I would not have this problem (and the note doesnt show any chance of it being changed) my issue with that is that I am not available and she was told that was not the schools problem I belive it is. She is not the only child whom needs to use a school bus for a journey home that is not walkable so actually I would expect the school to have some sort of way to deal with this in a manner that was possible for the children to remain safe. perhaps saying if there is a dificulty with getting the child home please phone and we will arrange alternative ways/days of dealing with the matter.

thank you Maureen yes I agree that is for another day was why I in my original mail said I would stick a pin in it ~ smiles..

I have send her in with 2 written letters to the teacher and I know for certain what they said neither of them we had any direct response too dd has spoken to the teacher about it. Obviously I do not know what she said to the teacher as I wasnt present but one of the cases did produce the 1/3 printed pieces so I assume she made sense to the teacher.

She is a decent girl I am proud of her and in this case I think it is teaching her the wrong lesson something I feel very worked up about.

her 1 earlier detention was for a issue I felt was them being over the top about (Missing pe skirt) but I backed the school up with this and told her she had to go and do it and that it would hopefully mean she wouldnt forget again. I do my hardest to back the school up where I feel it is resonable in this case I dont feel it is

Lonnie, I was in no way making any comment on your reading ability, and I am not the one making personal comments about people's ability to write. I do not whinge about the about of prep we need to do, I knew what would be required of me before I went into teaching, but I frankly find the attitude of parents like you shocking.

As others have said, you cannot pick and choose which of the school's rules you will deign to allow your child to adhere to, and if you think that what goes on after 3pm has nothing to do with school, then you should have no problem making your own alternative arrangements for homework to be done.

As it goes, I have set homework to be done on Publisher before, and if a child bothers to seek me out before a deadline (rather than wait until I'm collecting said work in)to tell me about a potential problem then I usually bend over backwards to help them get it done, be it in my room at lunchtime or after school on my computer, or by setting them an alternative task. I can't imagine many other teachers doing much different.

If on the other hand, a student misses two deadlines I put them in detention, and if the parent then complains because they don't have Publisher (or whatever. . ) the detention still stands because the student had ample opportunity to find me and ask for help well before the work was due in.

It sounds like your child's teachers work the same way and it's not really rocket science. . .

As for the writing, a note home in a planner or homework diary could be difficult to do on a computer, I've never tried but I suspect it may just get stuck in the printer
, although I agree any communication home to parents should be at least legible.

abbierhodes

I am willing to work with the school the school has been unwilling to work with me. If you notice I have written to the school about this issue twice and not received a response.

theroseofwait

The teacher has been saught out 4times about this matter it was not until the 3rdtime she got the 1/3 the 4th time she got an extention but no further print out so she was reliant on what computer time she could book at the school.

If a child had come to you and said (like the very first letter we sent to the teacher said) please could you print this out for our child so she can finish it in hand we do not have publisher. Wouldnt you have done so? Problem solved imo.

I can be bolchy I can be very forthright yes without a doubt. However I am rarely the parent that goes against the school I am not the parent that allows my child to speak rudely or misbehave I try to teach them that we should do our hardest.

I would say that 2 of the teachers that my 4 children have dealt with in my time of having children in school would say I was unpleasant the first told me that my child could not be dyslexic since she wasnt clumpsy and when I responded that was not what dyslexia was about she gave me a lecture about knowing about this as she was the SENCO (I cut her short) The 2nd was last year where a teacher did something to my child that ended up with my complaining to the school governers and the teacher getting a reprimend and ended up having to appologise to my child in front of the class. I am fairly certain neither of those 2 like me. The rest ofthem well I dont think they have too many issues, today I was sat down the swimming pool waiting for my children's lessons to finish and I was joined by 2 of the teachers from my little ones schools whom quite happily spoke to me in their private time. I dont think I am the shocking style of parent that you think I am. However bolchy and able to say when I think something is wrong and willing to put myself out there if I feel it is needed OHH YOU BET YA

have the notes definitely been handed in?
mine has missed school trips due to her not handing notes in...scatty kids

I have been told so yes. It would be the first time ever with this child that had not been the case. Now my dd2 ohh scatter brain to the point I have asked the primary school to not send letters home with her but her younger brother (so I get them)

I think that on this occasion it would make sense to return the detention form to school with a letter requesting that your daughter attend an after-school detention on a different day due to her age, the journey home and the clash with your appointments.

At the same time contact the Head of Year and subject teacher (by e-mail) asking for them to make arrangements/come to some sort of agreement about how children without appropriate ICT access can be supported to complete the task. You may need to accept that this may involve her staying after school in the future to make use of school equipment. Places such as Ramesys offer software at discounted prices for pupils so this may be something to look into so as to avoid repeat occurrences. Also, there are schemes around that offer financial support for the purchase of a laptop for low-income families with children in Y3-Y9.