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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to stay in our shoe box house???

43 replies

mosschops30 · 16/03/2010 14:13

Because Im sure most of our friends think we're crazy!

We live in a small 3 bed detached, its in a great area and is walking distance from our dc's (excellent) schools, 5 minutes to work for me, and close to motorway for dh.

However now there are 5 of us living here it is becoming a bit of a squeeze, although we have a large kitchen/diner, living room, 3 beds and 1 bath.

We could move but would be upping our mortgage by about £50-70k. Right now we have a relatively small mortgage which will be finished in 13 years (maybe sooner if we keep taking it down every time). We can also afford weekend breaks, nights out and a 2 weeks holiday abroad every year, and a nice car each, which would probably all change if we had a big mortgage.

However all our friends live in much bigger houses, although some in nightmare situations being interest free, only affording one car etc.

So AIBU to not really want to shaft myself by saddling us with a big mortgage and stretching ourselves financially, or should I be bringing up the dc's in a bigger house where the ds's wouldnt have to share a room?

I think time away and holidays are important, but it seems none of my friends think so

OP posts:

Original poster

mosschops30 · 16/03/2010 14:14

meant interest only not interest free

that would be excellent

OP posts:

CaresMildly · 16/03/2010 14:18

Surely it doesn't really matter whether you're right or wrong, it's if you are happy. It sounds like you all are and enjoy your life in its entirety so it's not really an issue.

Firawla · 16/03/2010 14:18

Yanbu
its a detached house anyway it cant b that small! a lot of people are in little flats so it doesn't sound too bad @ all to me
if you're happy with it then stick with it, why take more debt to buy a bigger place just cos of what others think
5 ppl i guess is 3 kids 2 adults, then its 2 kids in one room and 1 in their own, that is not too bad. just leave your option open in future to get a bigger one if/when you ever feel you need it. why rush into it now when you dont want to

saslou · 16/03/2010 14:22

I think you are being very sensible.Lots of people have big houses but never spend any time in them because they are working all hours to pay the mortgage. Different people value different things.Your choice is different to your friends, but is right for you

fallon8 · 16/03/2010 14:23

Its your life, not your friends, they may envy you really and wish they could get off the band wagon. Put on a playroom/gardenroom or similar.anyway its the time of year, we all have cabin fever from being inside for so long.

LaurieFairyCake · 16/03/2010 14:23

I live in a tiny 3 bed detached - it's a 30 foot by 11 foot corridor - 2 storey.

I think your life sounds perfect moss

in 10-15 years they will move out and you and dh will have a paid off house and money to enjoy yourself - if you upgraded you would just have to downgrade at some point (when a garden became unmanageable or something) - what's not to like about your decision?

itsmeitsmeolord · 16/03/2010 14:26

yanbu. If you are really desperate for space you could look at possibility of a loft conversion or small extension but i suppose that would mean extending the mortgage.

Your life sounds lovely, enjoy it and don't worry about what others do/don't do.

GladioliBuckets · 16/03/2010 14:27

YANBU. Soon enough you'll both be able to work part time complimentary hours, is that not everyone's dream? Sharing a bedroom is good for kids anyway. Is there no room on the plot to extend at all? A downstairs loo somewhere?

We upsized to a fixer-upper in a nicer area and though we are glad we did, it did contribute to DH having a nervous breakdown so it did cost more than money.

wishingchair · 16/03/2010 14:36

I also live in a tiny detached house with 3 beds (although 1 is definitely a box room). 12 foot wide, 2 story. Was about 35 foot long but now bit longer after building a 1 storey extension at the back. That made huge difference to us and miles cheaper than moving. For us to move would mean adding at least £100k to the mortgage plus costs of moving. Just not practical.

Also love the area - can walk to town, train station, schools, countryside. What more do you want?

(well, a garage, utility room, off street parking, a quiet road, a spare bedroom and a bigger garden!)

expatinscotland · 16/03/2010 14:38

Stay put.

Especially in these times.

GladioliBuckets · 16/03/2010 14:40

Loft conversion?

Original poster

mosschops30 · 16/03/2010 16:02

we have some of those things (quiet road, garage, nice big garden).

I dont know why Im moaning, and Im not really. I just think that maybe it would be better for the dc's if we had more room. But on the other hand will they remember family holidays or the size of their bedroom?

Our friends certainly dont seem to envy us, I suppose they just liove a different type of life.

I would love to move to a bigger house, not a mansion but 4 beds and another toilet would be good. To stay in this area though would be a big increase and we'd lose other things.
Plus DH has just told me I can do less than half the hours I was working before I went on mat leave because 'he'd rather give me £500pm than give it to the childminder'.

Im not being moany about it, i know we have a fab life but just wondered if anyone would go for a bigger house and have less of other things and if I was unreasonable thinking that its ok to live in a shoe box as long as you can have fun with other things IYKWIM

OP posts:

MorrisZapp · 16/03/2010 16:07

You live in a great house that you love and can afford.

What's the AIBU?

Original poster

mosschops30 · 16/03/2010 16:12

AIBU to stay here in this shoe box rather than move so everyone has more space

OP posts:

RubysReturn · 16/03/2010 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp · 16/03/2010 16:37

Don't move then, as it would cost too much and you're happy where you are.

Moving house is a huge expense and upheaval. Only do it if you passionately want it, and can afford it.

OrmRenewed · 16/03/2010 16:43

I'm in a similar position although I am now seriously thinking about moving. My eldest is 13 and sharing a room with a 7yr old Lack of space is becoming a real issue for us. But I realise it's going to cost us twice as much again every month if we move to the sort of place we want. And having just started to earn a good joint income I am enjoying the extra money we have.

mintyfresh · 16/03/2010 20:21

Glad to hear you are being sensible - it's the 'keeping up with the Jones' mentality which has led to the housing bubble/debt crisis we are currently in. I wouldn't want to have a huge mortgage to worry about over the next few years personally!

Would be glad of a house of my own though so am envious that you even have somewhere to call home

kitty4paws · 16/03/2010 21:30

We have 4 ds 11, dd 9, ds 7, ds 5 in a average 3 bed semi.

Is it a bit of a squeese , yes, its it ok , yes.

We have the time and money to enjoye our lives, a bigger house woudl mena at least a 40k hike in mortgage.

We shifted around the bedrooms a bit upstairs.

Squeezed a double bed in the 2nd room by having wardrobes fitted. Then in the biggest room we have split in into two so eldest DS and DD have their own space. It involved a lot of Ikea shelving but works really well.

A great space saving tip we used in the split room was to use the kids old bunkbed and blank off the bottom bunk from the top bunk.

So in effect my DD has a cabin bed in one room ( but has no access "under" her bed) whilst my DS has the bottom bunk in the other room but no access to the space above it . Not sure if that makes sense it is sort of easier to see in real life. But you save the floor space taken up by a whole bed.

Any hoo, point is YANBU , treasure what you think is important.

BTW I grew up in a house with 7 brothers and sister plus two cousins and all I remember of my childhood is loads of games and silly pranks. The size of house never even occured to me.

I have a guilty pleasure in leafing through the wall bed brochure and marveling at desks that change into double beds and best of all a free standing sofa that turns in to bunk beds , with integrated ladder !!! ooohhh the thought of all those facinating hinges makes me go all giddy

Eurostar · 16/03/2010 21:41

Seems to me that children in smaller houses/flats are often more sociable and "socialised" than those in big houses where they can get detached from family life (and as teens then get up to all sorts out of sight out of mind). Unless there is a serious personality clash between your DSs it sounds like a very happy way to live. I'd keep overpaying the mortgage and enjoying life. If you are overpaying the mortgage you are essentially saving and if you want to move in the future it means more equity towards another place.

fanjolina · 16/03/2010 21:47

sounds perfect

squeaver · 16/03/2010 21:47

I don't think yabu at all. But have you thought about extending your house? Would that be possible? It's certainly much cheaper than buying a new house.

MrsDinky · 16/03/2010 21:52

I am in exactly the same situation, lots of our friends have large 4/5 bed exec homes / farmnhouses with playrooms larger than our entire ground floor etc, I often go round and visit and feel like a poor relation, and quite envious BUT I am very happy with both the location of our house and the size of our mortgage (and council tax, utility bills etc too), so we're not going anywhere. I would dearly like a second toilet and a dining area that could fit 8 people round the table comfortably but apart from that we're fine. It also feels very sensible at this time in the recession.

Remotefrog · 16/03/2010 22:00

You mention your friends three times in your post. Do real friends really judge each other on their houses?

pointydog · 16/03/2010 22:10

of course yanbu. ANyway, it doesn't sound like a shoe box. You seem to be comparing yourself too closely to your friends/.

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