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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to stay in our shoe box house???

43 replies

mosschops30 · 16/03/2010 14:13

Because Im sure most of our friends think we're crazy!

We live in a small 3 bed detached, its in a great area and is walking distance from our dc's (excellent) schools, 5 minutes to work for me, and close to motorway for dh.

However now there are 5 of us living here it is becoming a bit of a squeeze, although we have a large kitchen/diner, living room, 3 beds and 1 bath.

We could move but would be upping our mortgage by about £50-70k. Right now we have a relatively small mortgage which will be finished in 13 years (maybe sooner if we keep taking it down every time). We can also afford weekend breaks, nights out and a 2 weeks holiday abroad every year, and a nice car each, which would probably all change if we had a big mortgage.

However all our friends live in much bigger houses, although some in nightmare situations being interest free, only affording one car etc.

So AIBU to not really want to shaft myself by saddling us with a big mortgage and stretching ourselves financially, or should I be bringing up the dc's in a bigger house where the ds's wouldnt have to share a room?

I think time away and holidays are important, but it seems none of my friends think so

OP posts:

TottWriter · 16/03/2010 22:11

Don't forget that every time you move you lose at least £20k just in estate agents fees and stamp duty. That gets whacked onto your mortgage along with the rest for the bigger house.

It sounds like you're happy where you are - YANBU at all. I think it's your friends who will envy you in years to come when they're still paying mortgages and you're all done.

BarbaMamma · 16/03/2010 22:18

Kitty - your bunk bed solution sounds truly amazing, and has been duly noted for future reference - thank you!

gtamom · 17/03/2010 06:42

You show a lot of good old common sense to me. Who wants to live with stress over finances? And sure, there will always be someone in a larger manor with nice grounds, but there are also entire families living in one room as well. Don't let other peoples ideals make you doubt your own.

Ariesgirl · 17/03/2010 08:36

Tiny shoebox? If only. We live in an 1 1/2 bed end terrace and small backyard with cat and planning a baby and are far from alone, though I would LOVE more space and a garden. Don't feel myself particularly unusual. Stay where you are and enjoy your life. Perhaps you could go into the roof or extend out the back?

MamaVoo · 17/03/2010 08:48

YANBU. Although I didn't realise that only being able to afford one car was a 'nightmare situation'. I'm obviously worse off than I thought.

GeorginaWorsley · 17/03/2010 09:48

YANBU.
We live in a 5 bed detached with loads of room,on a newish estate.Not a huge garden,but park across the road,shops within walking distance,open countryside literally on our doorstep.
We are lucky enough to have all this ona relatively small mortgage compared to income.
However I sometimes feel that we 'should' move out into a farmhouse or old rectory or something,just because we could and many of our friends and DH's professional collegues etc live in such houses.
Then I give myself a slap and realise we are so lucky compared to many many people.
Comparing yourself to others is never a route to happiness,and I agree with whoever said that the debt problem/house price problem has been aided by exactly this sort of 'keeping up with the Jones''.
Stay where you are,conisder an extension!

AvrilHeytch · 17/03/2010 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2010 11:31

stay where you are

enjoy being able to afford your mortgage/have holidays etc

if you did upsize you may find you will be working all hours to pay for it

if you really want extra space/bedroom then have you got room to do an extension and have extra bedroom that way? or loft conversion?

i had friends who wanted a bigger house and decided to move from 3 to 4. 2 years later they are getting divorced and house is in negative equity as prices have come down £20k and they over paid the going rate for it

you may find that your friends in big houses are not happy and worry about paying bills etc

CirrhosisByTheSea · 17/03/2010 12:16

I was all for up-sizing, but the mortgage collapse etc has made us totally re-think. And it's amazing what that can do; it makes you look at what you DO have instead of what you don't....I had been focussing so much on looking at other houses, that I'd stopped looking at mine.

Ours is really tiny - (if your 3 bed detached is a shoe box, my 2 bed terrace must be the box the shoe polish comes in!!!) but it's one road away from the sea, in a lovely seaside town with a bustling high street. What we've done is concentrate on decorating, opening fireplaces and making it the kind of period looking property that we love - it reflects US and that makes you feel very at home and very content.

We've also done things like upgrade our flooring to posh stuff when we have been able to afford it....just because it's small doesn't mean it can't be luxurious.

And the main thing - it's DS's childhood home and we'll all love it forever because of that.

GeekOfTheWeek · 17/03/2010 12:27

Mosschops YANBU,

We just bought a 3 bed detatched instead of a 4 bed because we wanted the extra money per month rather than the extra space. I too like holidays and weekends away

I also did it to ensure we could afford the mortgage if one of us lost our job. Good job I did as dh was made redundent 6 weeks after we moved.

MarshaMallow · 17/03/2010 13:08

YANBU

Much the same situation here...smallish house (3 bed terrace, but 1930's build so big rooms and large garden) and 5 of us living in it. It's close to school, doc's, local city less than 10 mins bus ride away motorway 40 mins away.

No way on earth am I moving anywhere bigger just so I have more bloomin' rooms to clean!

Please note doorstep sellers - I do not want a loft conversion, a conservatory attached to the back spoiling my garden space or my cellar converted...in less than 10 years my kids will leave home and I won't need all that extra space you gave me to clean! (They knock the door 2/3 times a week hence the red face!)

We manage, we are happy, our home is convenient for all of us, big enough for now and small enough for later.

Enjoy what you have OP.

paddingtonbear1 · 17/03/2010 13:14

yanbu. Sometimes I wish we'd done the same, rather than saddle ourselves with a bigger mortgage. We had run out of space, there was no garage, no storage to speak of... but now we are in a bigger house we just have a lot more stuff!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 17/03/2010 17:35

geek I know what you mean, if me or dh lost our job then we would be able to manage here, just! If we moved then we would certainly lose our home which would be awful.

I didnt mean having one car was a 'nightmare situation' I meant all of our friends are paying interest only mortages which is a nightmare. However we couldnt manage with one car as one of us would have to give up work.

Thanks for all your posts, has made me feel much better about where we are, and to be grateful for everything we have

OP posts:

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/03/2010 18:11

We did this, moved from exactly the same house you describe to a much larger house. While it is nice to have extra bathrooms and a spare room, garage,etc, I now have to work full time to afford the crippling council tax and heating bills....

On reflection we should have stayed put.

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/03/2010 18:12

Oh, and more space = more cleaning.

violethill · 17/03/2010 18:16

Sounds like you're being pretty sensible.

I cannot believe the people I know who are paying interest only mortgages long term. It's like bailing water out of a leaking boat - the water ain't gonna go down! What on earth do they think is going to happen? Do they really think the bank will just let them off paying if they wait long enough?!

I would enjoy your life as you're happy where you are.

WkdSM · 17/03/2010 18:24

Umm.... are those friends telling you to move going to pay the increase in the mortgage? If not, perhaps they should butt out and let you get on with your life - which sounds as if it suits you down to the ground (apart from the friends who think you are crazy)

Original poster

mosschops30 · 18/03/2010 10:12

Oh my friends dont tell us to move, that would be a bit weird, its just me that thinks they all have big houses and we dont. Some have said that now we have 3 'are you thinking of moving' but it doesnt go any further than that.

I know what youre saying about interest only, friends of ours have said that theyre planning to buy a house abroad when theyre mortgage free and I tried not to make a face as they have been paying interest only since they moved into their big house. They will be mortgage free when theyre dead probably

OP posts:

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