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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let Dh's parents take my dc on holiday

33 replies

onlygirl · 14/03/2010 17:30

.... because I want Ds2 to go on his first holiday abroad with me. He is only 3 and I want to see his face when he first sees the plane. I have suggested that we could all go together Dh thinks that I am being clingy. Dh doesn't like holidays by the way!!

OP posts:
Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 14/03/2010 17:32

YANBU

moondog · 14/03/2010 17:32

Well I wouldn't let my 3 year old go anywhere without me,nor would I holiday with ILs.
YANBU.

madly · 14/03/2010 17:38

YANBU I would never allow anyone to take my 3yr old on holiday. He would miss you soooo much and you will be miserable without him. Say thanks but maybe when he is older [like 15]

BeautifullyScreaming · 14/03/2010 18:03

Def wouldn't let my nearly three year old away without me... YANBU!

gingertoo · 14/03/2010 18:07

Mine started going away with their grandparents when they were 8 and 6 which was still too early as far as I was concerned!
They go every year for a week in the uk and have a brilliant time. Not sure how I would feel about them taking them abroad

So to answer you question YANBU

ScreaminEagle · 14/03/2010 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

waitingforbedtime · 14/03/2010 18:12

No way are YBU. Very reasonable to offer to go away with in laws too - I would just say 'erm no thanks he's too little'

wb · 14/03/2010 18:21

With my puritanical stick up my arse I would say that it is not nice to deny your dc something that they would enjoy and that you have no other objection to, on the basis that you would like to be the first to do it with them....

....however, as there would be no way on earth that I would allow anybody (including dh) to take my 3 year old on holiday abroad without me, I suspect I am a hypocrite and YANBU

All going together sounds like a wonderful compromise, I would insist on that.

Coldhands · 14/03/2010 18:22

YANBU. I would want to look forward to the same thing as you. Also I would think your DS is a bit young too. At least you have that as an excuse. If he does get upset and miss you, its not like they can nip home early.

Hassled · 14/03/2010 18:31

Your DH doesn't like holidays? What - any holiday? Has he experienced every possible holiday? He needs to get over it, and you should all go together.

lolapoppins · 14/03/2010 18:32

Yanbu at all.

Ds is 7 and has never been anywhere without me and certainly i would not consider him abroad without me for a second. You are not being clingy in the slightest.

morningpaper · 14/03/2010 18:33

Why not just go and leave your DH at home? He can have a normal week at work?

cloelia · 14/03/2010 18:34

YANBU 3 is far too young to go abroad without you. Also he will have absolutely no memory of it in years to come. Ask them to defer the offer till he is at least 9 or 10. I loved my in laws having my children for a couple of nights when they were this age but on holiday abroad! No, bad idea.

fernie3 · 14/03/2010 19:04

YANBU I would not let mine go abroad without me at that age.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 14/03/2010 19:06

not a chance my 3 year old would be going on holiday without me in the uk let alone abroad

diddl · 14/03/2010 19:12

Jeez-I wouldn´t holiday with the ILs, so no way would I expect the poor children to.

And 3 is young-clingy FFS

Cheappinkfizz · 14/03/2010 19:34

"Thank you for your very kind offer, but ds is too young to go on holiday on his own."

Job done, yanbu!

inthesticks · 14/03/2010 19:38

I had to very gently say no thanks to my mum when she wanted to take my son on holiday 50 miles away.
He was 5.
I was probably being selfish but not unreasonable.

LittleSilver · 14/03/2010 19:40

I agree that I think it's a bit selfish to deny your child something they would enjoy because YOU want to be the first to expoerience it with them. But 3 is DEF too young to be apart for hols in my book. And no way would anyone be taking them out of the country without me.

giveitago · 14/03/2010 20:53

YANBU - you want to have first overseas trip with him and most importantly he's way way too young.

Incidentally when is it ok for kids to be out of the country without you (ie with your dps or other family)? I cannot imagine. ILs keep banging on about ds going with dh and without me (bloody cheers ) - they wanted ds when he was only 15 months - what the heck were they thinking -now they keep asking when will be OK. I honestly don't know - not until he's at least able to look after himself - I'm thinking 9 or 10? What's 'normal'?

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable -I think your compromise is very generous.

Missus84 · 14/03/2010 20:59

I'd go with them without your DH.

ILovePlayingDarts · 14/03/2010 21:06

I was worried about letting my dcs go on holiday with my parents last year. They were 5 and 9, and had a wonderful time. But I would not have let them go at any younger age, and my dp agrees!

Alambil · 14/03/2010 21:10

My sister took DS to butlins for a few days when he was 3 - he LOVED it.... I don't think it's too young if the children are with someone you trust

Tanga · 14/03/2010 21:19

My parent took my DD abroad on holiday when she was 5 - there was no way I could afford it and I didn't want her to miss out.

I think the all going away together is a wonderful compromise - we did that last year and it was so wonderful we are doing it again this year!

mumtolawyer · 14/03/2010 21:36

To giveitago my DD will be going abroad with me this Easter but then staying with friends (including unaccompanied airplane (ie in care of airline staff) to said friends) by herself for a week. We'll travel back to UK together after that.

This summer she will be at overseas camp without me, first for a week (I'll be 6 miles away) though we'll travel there together, and then for a fortnight from which she will travel home on her own, with Skyflyers. She's 8. I don't think it's too young IF the child is reasonably sensible and up for it.

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