To want my husband to STOP TALKING when I have already told him that I don't care and don't want to talk about what he wants to talk about?

[heQet]

Go on, sock it to me

We were talking about police and whether they are, basically, military.

I think yes, he thinks no.

Anyway, I said I don't care, not interested and don't see the point in continuing the conversation. He thinks what he thinks, I think what I think and I'm bored now.

But he is still talking at me! Despite my very bluntly saying "I don't care" and "I don't want to talk about it any more, I'm done." etc, he's saying "Yes..." and then carrying on with the whole police thing!

I'm not interested. It's pointless. What more to say once opinions have been exchanged? You're just going over and over the same thing. And I don't care about it anyway!

Clearly he thinks I am unreasonable.

So should he let it go once I've had enough or should I have conversations on topics I don't care about or continue a conversation after the exchange of facts / pov when I've lost interest?

Actually, typing it out - I am quite arrogant, aren't I?

why do we have to marry men??
mine is just the same.
fortunately he doesn't notice when i continue chatting on mumsnet when he is droning on about Land Rovers (he does get a bit pissed off when I start laughing out loud at a funny post though!)

Haha. This has made me laugh. DH often says 'Oh, this is interesting!' and I am forced to reply 'What? Your definition of interesting or mine? Because if it's yours I am not interested.'

So glad it's not just me because I often think 'god, I must sound incredibly rude'.

In my defence, it is often something really dull about aeroplanes or road surfacing or how washing machines work when he pipes up with one of those little 'interesting's. Whether the police are military or not is just the kind of thing that would set his little cogs whirring and make me yawn.

Sing for joy, I don't think anyone is intolerant of their dh's opinion, and certainly I don't mind hearing it once in a to the point way.
It's the bloody repetition, over and over the same issue.
In conversation it's best to choose subject matter that appeals to both parties.

YANBU!

Dp does this all the time, drives me round the bend.

It's not rude to tell them we are not interested, it's just the truth.

Maybe I'd be a little more inclined to listen to his inane drivel if he ever looked in the slightest bit interested in mine

does anyone else's OH get stuck on the state of the roads?

Oh fuck yes. Potholes, he's obsessed with them. I'm thinking of adopting one in his name.

Oh god , this thread is so funny. I usually do the fingers in my ears "blah blah, I'm not listening" (sing-song voice). Have had to declare our car a rant-free zone on many occasions.

My dh does the 'ask a question, then answer it myself' routine.

As in "What do I think? I think there needs to be a serious analysis of where the blahdy blah boring drivel has been allocated..."

This evening he called me over to pc to look at a picture of the school his parents didn't send him to! (He also has an unhealthy rosetinted view of the past.Please don't get me started. I mean his past, before he met me , seventies stuff with fray bentos and candlewick bedspreads).

Nonetheless, he is an amazing man and I love him dearly!

YANBU1

I meant YANBU!

I'm not much of a talker and can't stand people don't cut to the chase forcing you to listen to hours of non-relevant shite.

I have said something to a couple of people in the past, but then I turned it round and knew how hurtful it'd be if someone said to me 'I don't care what you think or how you feel so button it' So in that way I agree with SingforJoy, you were very dismissive of your DH.

If my DH starts spouting about cars, thankfully he can read my bland expression and noncommital answers to pick up that I couldn't care less. Or you could try the other extreme and be over-the-top enthusiastic so he gets the message in a nicer way?

As to your argument I think you're right it'd be nice if your DH was right, but the police are increasingly behaving like a militia, they're not policing with my consent like that.

I've done and said the same to DP

He has this habit when he's reading the newspaper

DP: MGC
Me: Yeah
DP: have you read the paper yet?
Me: Nope not interested its a lot of crap
DP: listen to this (then reads a whole story out of paper)

I then make a comment and leave him to it...2 minutes later

DP: MGC
Me: Yeah
DP: listen to this (then reads a whole story out of paper)

AARRRRGGGG leave me alone i dont care whats in the shitty paper you read (cant tell you which one )

I dont actually shout aarrggg leave me alone but thats how i feel

Oh yes. I get so utterly bored of the whole pretend 'Uh huh, yep, mm, right' conversation that in my head I'm thinking, 'Shush. Please. Be quiet. Please, shut up. I couldn't give a toss. Really, you need to shut up now. Would you just shut the fuck up? Right. Where's the gaffer tape?'

I'm going to say YABU. I feel like such a priss for saying it but I never get bored with conversation to this extent in relationships. Is it really normal?

Occasionally DP has the tendency to talk about how well he's done (which he has to be fair, but still - be modest, dear) and my smile goes a bit fixed then. But usually I find most things he says really interesting. Am I weird?

No you're not weird. Your DP just talks about stuff that interests you

I don't think any of us are saying that everything they say disinterests us.

Just their monologues about hobbies, TV programmes, F1, football, rugby, how websites have been formatted badly (). And other stuff that we Just Don't Care About (therefore making it hard to continue the conversation - if you don't care you probably don;t know about it ((and vice versa)))

YABU, and rude. I had this from my ex when I wanted to do anything more than a quick exchange of factual information. It's a relationship killer. If he seems to be getting all worked up about the police being military or the potholes or whatever, you could ask him why it means so much to him or why he seems to be so invested in the subject (he won't be so happy to talk about his feelings, I'll bet), but saying 'I don't care' and disengaging is just rude and unkind. And it won't make him stop -- he'll keep going until he feels he's being listened to even if what he's saying is not what's really on his mind.

Try looking at the situation as if the boot were on the other foot.

I'm with mathanxiety on this, it is incredibly rude and very dismissive and, as you say yourself, arrogant.

Apparently I have been known to do it to DH when I can't win an argument . He often talks to me about things I have no interest in whatsoever but I listen (and vice cersa) and we talk because they are important to him. Sometime he just needs a sounding board or a someone to unload to.

It may be that the issue is not the police at all but that your DH does not feel he's being heard. Or it may be that he feels he has to WIN every exchange with you. Either way I'd say you need to look at the way you communicate on a fundamental level.

I find it quite awful all the people saying they only want to talk to their partners about things that interest them. Arrogant and selfish imo

singforjoy, why shouldn't people say what they really think? I would hope that they would! I don't ask for, expect or receive any special treatment - why would I?

If you read my opening posts, you will see that I very quickly realised that I WAS in fact being horribly unreasonable and you will see that I disappeared from mumsnet shortly after that (came back briefly at 9 when I was shutting computer down )

This is because I went to apologise to my husband for being rude to him.

And admitted he was right on one point (no military ranks in british police force - captain etc)

And he laughed his head off, and hugged me and said he loves me.

And then we carried on talking about the police.

I do have the potential to be horribly arrogant. It's my major flaw. To see it reflected back at me - through my post, which makes me sound HORRIBLE! - made me see I needed to apologise to him.

• I don't apologise when he does the drunken pontificating though, and never will

I am actually a bit alarmed by the suggestion that people aren't being honest with me, tbh. I would want people to say what they really think - why wouldn't they?

I also think it's selfish to bang on and on and on at someone about a subject that they have no interest in especially when that person has said they are not interested in said interest

I can see the point of those who are saying Yabu. It's not very nice not being listened to, I should know Dh does it to me enough!

There is a fine line between conversation and being a bore, I would not inflict the intricate details of my activities on other people unless they asked about it or appeared to be interested.

Likewise I show an interest in whether Dh catches anything when he goes fishing, but I struggle to feign interest at which lure and line strength he uses!

Jump on his lap and give him a great big snog. This is extremely effective in shutting DH up.

Mine waffles on about the Xbox, Xbox games, Xbox glitches, film releases, film reviews, tv programmes I dislike, plot lines of show
I have never seen.

I am dreding the world cup, I will be under overwhelmed by indepth knowlege of the manager, the first team, the B team, injuries, replacements, the country where the tournment is held, the number of fans at each game, what team is in what group, what happens if we beat X and the various outcomes of wht it means reg. who we will play next, the odds of each result etc etc Its endless.

He ignores the the look on my face that says 'shut up', he knows I want peace but still continues to talk AT me so YANBU -I feel your pain.

HeQ, I do this sometimes - usually when DH is about to bore me senseless with some random drivel about some sleb or other (e.g Tiger Woods, Katie Price, some bloody footballer + W/G). I have to say "I don't care" and repeat ad nauseam because he WILL continue to talk about it, thus:

DH - listen to this.. Tiger Woods..
Me - couldn't care less about him, boring
DH - no but listen..
Me - seriously, not interested
DH - yeah but this is what he said..
Me - I really don't want to know, life's too short for this
DH - he's shagged..
Me - FGS, I could NOT give a flying fuck about it, please stop talking about it!

We have lots of conversations about other stuff, about stuff that interests him, about his work, etc. etc. but I cannot condone nor facilitate the mindnumbing sleb-watching that he does by engaging in conversation about it.

DH does love the sound of his own voice - even he admits it - we used to joke that we were the opposite of the stereotypical couple because I would be the one watching the film/tv show, he would be the one wittering throughout and asking what was going on because he'd been talking through the previous bit and missed it!

So - IMO YANBentirelyU although perhaps it could be said more politely (me too!)

My DH witters on endlessly about his job (he's a techy geek) so I'll do up to 10 minutes of 'Umm, hmmm, yes, did he really?' and then I'll either randomly change the subject when he's mid-sentence or get on with some chores and tune him out. I think they have to be indulged for a while but not completely as it might make them think they are interesting

Mine expects me to listen to him whittering on. Which I do most of the time because I think its good to show an interest in what he is interested in. I wish he would do the same back more often. I'm at home with 4 children. Not huge amounts of adult conversation and sometimes it would be nice for someone to listen to my views rather than interrupting halfway through my second sentence. Its not like I have huge amounts to say but I don't even get that.
Probably why I mn too much

'I find it quite awful all the people saying they only want to talk to their partners about things that interest them. Arrogant and selfish imo'

If dh needed to talk about something important and needed support or help finding a resolution I would be more than happy to listen.
However, wittering on about military trivia when he knows I have no interest is selfish imo. I wouldn't dream of boring him with conversations in which he has no interest.

That said, we have two televisions and spend our evenings seperately, me watching cutting edge in the lounge and him watching Nazi docs on the history channel in the kitchen, so probably not the model of a great relationship tbh