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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Adult only area just appeared in gym changing room

49 replies

Amaris · 13/03/2010 10:56

My (private) gym is otherwise family friendly - it has a creche, children's swimming lessons, and children's classes. I've been there today and found that an area of the changing room has been sectioned off for adults only.

It's left me feeling like me and DD are second class citizens - they are quite happy to take our money but then segregate us off. I feel that it gives the message out to other people that we are less valued members.

I know some children don't behave very well, but then some adults don't behave very well either (in particular the morning running club often come in and conduct shouted conversations over my head whilst I'm changing!). I don't want to have to tell my daughter that she's not now allowed in her favorite bit of the changing rooms because some people don't want her because she's a child (obviously I wouldn't put it like that to her!).

I feel like I've reacted quite strongly to this, but what do other people think?

OP posts:

amber1979 · 13/03/2010 10:59

It may not be for the reason you think. There was a story in the news recently about a gym/pool where people complained about adults being naked, as children might see them.

strawberrykate · 13/03/2010 11:00

If the adult section was all gold mirrors and fancy cushions I'd be a bit narked but if it's the same room just divided into two I don't see the issue. It saves adults without children being bothered and children from being told off by grumpy adults! It's obviously been done for a reason, they can hardly put up a sign 'adults and well brought-up children only' can they. I would though expect the same standards of cleanliness and resources in both sections and would complan loudly if there wasn't.

gorionine · 13/03/2010 11:01

I am not sue what the problem is, they have section 1 part of it for adults only so there is still presumably a family changing room? why are you feeling less valued/ some customer probably have asked for a more private/children free area and got it as they are valued customers, just like the ones with family like yourself.

I think you might be reading too much into it

ScreaminEagle · 13/03/2010 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

strawberrykate · 13/03/2010 11:02

Good point amber, for exmple there are strict rules in schools about adults not being allowed to use the child toilets on child protection grounds.

2shoes · 13/03/2010 11:03

yabu
perhaps some adults don't want children arround them(maybe this is thier child free time) they have rights too

BritFish · 13/03/2010 11:04

i think you've made a good argument for this in your OP!
some adults don't behave very well and are noisy and naked and generally icky.
that sounds great, noone's can complain about the kids running around everywhere, and noone can complain about big naked people!

Montifer · 13/03/2010 11:06

My (private) gym provide an adults only section of the womens changing room at the request of members.

I have a DS who I take swimming there and am happy to use the area which has the changing table and play pen.

On the rare occasion I have time to go for a relaxing swim and sauna on my own, I really appreciate an area in which I can change in peace without dodging excited and usually noisy children.

So I think YABU and a bit precious about your DD having her 'favourite bit' of the changing room.
Isn't the swimming her 'favourite bit'?

Kitkatqueen · 13/03/2010 11:06

I'm sorry but i think you have taken this the wrong way. I have 4 kids of my own but honestly if i was going there without my kids I would appreciate the space and privacy from everyone elses! Children have very little concept of personal space and in a changing room thats important to me.

I also hate kids making comments about other people who are changing such as "mummy that lady has a very big bottom" or quite frankly and openly staring at other changers. It makes people uncomfortable.

I think that yabu.

If the sign had said that he other area was a childrens changing area you'd be pleased they were considering children and families.

I don't think that they are treating you as second class citizens - i think thats pretty

I think they are running a business and trying to find a way to keep all their members happy.....

jybay · 13/03/2010 11:07

I also think this is fine as long as the facilities in the family section are as good as in the adults only section. Gyms are somewhere parents often go for some adult time. If you have put your child in the creche and are enjoying the novel experience of having a shower without an audience and running commentary from your own kids, I can imagine that you might not want to be surrounded by other people's.

It is not anti-child to designate some spaces as adults only.

Original poster

Amaris · 13/03/2010 11:08

It is the bit we normally go it as the other sections are smaller!

I feel like it plays into the view of some people that children shouldn't be there at all - you know, the sort that just object to them being around whether or not they are doing anything any more annoying than any other person! That might be more about me mind, and maybe I should just get on with things!

I also object to not having been consulted.

Also I do think on principle that people should not be discriminated against on the basis of age! I understand that there are specific times that children are allowed in the swimming pool because they do different things and it prevents lane swimming. However, I don't really think children in the changing rooms stops anyone doing anything - I get more annoyed by inconsiderate adults than kids.

OP posts:

nbee84 · 13/03/2010 11:09

...and if they'd sectioned off the changing area and your child's 'favourite' bit was the family part, would it still be bothering you?

gorionine · 13/03/2010 11:11

"I get more annoyed by inconsiderate adults than kids." here you go then, now you do not have to worry about them anymore as they have their own changing rooms, everyone is a winner!

jybay · 13/03/2010 11:12

Thing is, Amaris, that other people feel differently about having kids around all the time. Surely there is room for both views? I think your gym has been sensible in trying to accommodate both families and adults (most of whom will be parents too) who want an adults only section.

sungirltan · 13/03/2010 11:13

yabu. agree with other thats this might be people's child free time.

its not the end of the world - families have regular leisure centres etc.

Original poster

Amaris · 13/03/2010 11:14

nbee84 It probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't the squashed up bits that we normally avoid!

BritFish - yeah I think it is that people can complain about children whether they are annoying or not, but not adults - for example I find it really unpleasant when naked adults sit on the benches without a towel - yuck!

I've not started a conversation in this section before - it's quite difficult to post a thread in this section without sounding a bit mad isn't it?!

OP posts:

Kitkatqueen · 13/03/2010 11:15

gorionine

Sorry op I know its serious to you but, yes I think you need to lighten up about it, its minor, go, swim, have fun and chill!

Rindercella · 13/03/2010 11:16

YABU imo. I think you're over thinking this and making a non-issue into a big issue.

My gym has totally separate family changing rooms - rather than making me feel like a 2nd class citizen, I love them - big room, own shower, total privacy (from adults and other people's children). What's not to like?!

Original poster

Amaris · 13/03/2010 11:16

I think I'm feeling a bit radical after equality and diversity training at work this week

OP posts:

nbee84 · 13/03/2010 11:17

That doesn't sound so good - if you have children with you, you probably need more space - not the squashed up bit.

But I do think it is good to have an adults only section so that those without them can escape them if they wish.

Kaloki · 13/03/2010 11:17

amaris Pretty much You'll get used to it.

Honestly though, I'd have thought it's so adults can get changed without worrying about whether of not nudity would be seen as inappropriate around children. ANd let's face it, that happens a fair bit.

gorionine · 13/03/2010 11:17

As well, if they had to consult every
member as to how to deal with the changing rooms it would be absolutely impossible to satisfie everyone, they do have to go with the option that makes the best buisness sense without cutting anyone out #; haviong a changing room for adults only that wish to use it and another one for families I really srtuggle to understand where the problem is.

MrsC2010 · 13/03/2010 11:19

Not sure of the issue...surely it is no different to a 'family' area for people with kids? As we are still waiting for our first to arrive in the summer I would always prefer to change in an area without children. Not because they are always going to be naughty or anything, but just because I would. Given the choice between getting naked in front of kids or not I'd choose not.

I suspect this was done on the request of some parents for the same reason...they don't want their kids getting naked in front of strangers or vice versa.

So, YABU.

Original poster

Amaris · 13/03/2010 11:21

Kitkatqueen - I know it's not really that serious, and I will get over it!

As I said in OP, it has wound me up - mostly because although they do have user's meetings, these are held early evenings so there's no way that I can ever go and it would just be nice to have been asked.

Rindercella - yeah separate family changing rooms would be great because then it would have felt like we were being catered for rather than people who complain about children.

I accept that most people don't agree with me so I need to work out why it's bothering me so much!

OP posts:

jybay · 13/03/2010 11:22

Also, if you don't believe in treating kids differently from adults, surely we'll have to get rid of parents-only spaces at the supermarket and half price tickets for children?

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