Adult only area just appeared in gym changing room

[Amaris]

My (private) gym is otherwise family friendly - it has a creche, children's swimming lessons, and children's classes. I've been there today and found that an area of the changing room has been sectioned off for adults only.

It's left me feeling like me and DD are second class citizens - they are quite happy to take our money but then segregate us off. I feel that it gives the message out to other people that we are less valued members.

I know some children don't behave very well, but then some adults don't behave very well either (in particular the morning running club often come in and conduct shouted conversations over my head whilst I'm changing!). I don't want to have to tell my daughter that she's not now allowed in her favorite bit of the changing rooms because some people don't want her because she's a child (obviously I wouldn't put it like that to her!).

I feel like I've reacted quite strongly to this, but what do other people think?

Amaris
you are being a tad unreasonable, bless you, but think of it like this, no horrible sweaty man balls will have touched your changing room benches.
and when you go swimming, you wont have a leaky childs bottom residue on yours.
think of it as a positive thing, when you go swimming you wont have kids staring at your naked bits!

Amaris, You should have sasid about your course in your OP! You might for a while be oversensitive on the subject but surely, having the choice of a more private changing room is a progress and not "discrimination"?

"Also I do think on principle that people should not be discriminated against on the basis of age!"

6 year olds buying alcohol, in bars at 1:00am, watching 18 certificate films, being able to vote, joining the army, ...

I'm sure that this isn't what you meant - but you can't have it all ways!

I think was more wound up originally because I assumed some people had complained and the club had just done it - they do have user meetings but they are at a not very parent friendly early evening time. I asked them why they had done it and they said because they did it in other clubs.

And actually if they had presented the other bits as a "family area" rather than "adults area" I probably wouldn't have minded so much either.

Thanks everyone, I'll get over it!

jybay and purpleheffalump I do believe in discrimination when there's a good reason for it, but not when it's just on the basis of people not liking other people for a random reason or being lumped in an indiscriminate group rather than treated as an individual (although I know this issue isn't exactly at the forefront of human rights!)

But "a good reason" is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? It's obvious from the responses to this thread that many people think there is a good reason for your gym's decision.

Amaris, i am not sure I get your last post, Do you still think it is discriminating?

I personaly think that if I do not want to get changed in front of your children, I am doing them a favour.

The fact that some people/adult want more privacy does not mean they do not like you or your children, it just means they feel more comfortable getting dressed/undresses away from them. It would be discriminating in from a day to the other, DC were not allowed in at all anymore which I understand is not actually the case at your gym.

So, are your gym changing rooms mixed then? I'm guessing not. Perhaps you should object more to being lumped into an indiscriminate female only changing room and not being treated as an individual!

I'm with most other people on this one OP, I think it's about catering to different people's wishes. Slightly off at a tangent, but I'm a parent, I go swimming every Sat morning, it's completely child free till 10am, and that's just what I want. Most definitely not discriminatory. Children and families have most of the pool from 10-5pm. Everyone's happy.

Changing rooms - I love my adult only space. But when I go with my 12 year old daughter, it becomes an issue. She is definitely not catered for, as she is expected to change in front of hordes of younger children and their mothers, including smaller boys (Separate male and female changing). She is not given any privacy at all and finds it so embarrassing she is reduced to changing in the toilet. If she was a regular user, I would be lobbying for 11-15 year olds to have access to private cubicles.

My (private) gym has an adults only section in the changing room. It doesn't bother me, it is less than 1/3 of the total area and is furthest away from the showers, pool entrance. Oddly it is very close to the playpen!
What is more annoying is that there is no baby changing table in the changing rooms. I'm not the only bloke to take young children swimming, so can't be the only member who would use a changing table, instead of the bench. Mind you laying a towel down on the bench and changing baby/toddler on that isn't that much of a problem - especially as the gym provides the towels. I did hear from another member that at one point before I was a member, the gym stopped providing the towels - that did cause uproar, gym membership is not cheap... so towels being provided is part of what we pay for I feel (and clearly so did other members).

My gym has a policy of not letting under 16's (I think, would have to look up the full terms and conditions to check actual age) from being in the club at all after 9pm. That could be said to be discrimination, though I doubt anyone is that bothered about it... after all the place is for adults to relax after a day at work.

YABU. I don't feel comfortable getting changed infront of 10 year old boys and would definitely welcome an 'adults only' section of the changing room at my gym (which only has one cubicle, which is of course used by parents with their children ). If your gym had designated an area for families only, it wouldn't necessarily solve the issue as women with children could still use the rest of the changing area IYSWIM.

Calling it "discrimination" is a bit precious too IMO. Your gym seems incredibly family friendly - if my gym was like this I would cancel the membership and go elsewhere. Gym time is my adult, relaxing time.

Maybe there has been new legislation that says children should be separated from unknown adults whilst changing??

So they get around it by adding an adults only area??

agedknees

I think on balance from the comments above it's mostly the way it was done with no real explanation rather than them actually having an adult only area. Though I probably am over-reacting too - I think I'm a bit dissatisfied with a few other things too(half hearted instructors, hit and miss cafe) so easy to pick on this. Time for a change maybe.

Message deleted

OP- does you pay the same ammount for your child to visit the gym as it would cost an adult?

Would you like your child to be around adults when they have 'adult conversations'? For example- I used to meet my bestfriend in the gym and discuss our relationships/ sex lives etc.

I get anked in the changing room- as there are few private cubicals and I'm not ashamed of my body. I don't really want to be bent over putting my knickers on mooning a child.

I also love my child free time- the gym in my escape- I'm sure you love your children but not all adults are obliged to feel the same.

If this is your only experience of being treated like a seond class citizen you are a lucky lady

I WISH our gym had seperate changing areas but it doesn't.

I think it's a good idea.

I would appreciate an adult only part of the changing room at my gym. For the days when I go there sans my dds.

We have an adult only lounge at my gym, but so far our changing rooms remain a bit of a free-for-all. It would be lovely to have a bit of child-free space in the changing rooms aswell.

Our gym has always had a child free section in the changing rooms. It's never bothered me.

The wrinkly old grannies tend to use it.

I wish they had a special section for the ladies who've had boob jobs, and insist on drying their hair topples because they are so pleased with the result.

YABU. i dont want to get changed around kids so they are providing a good service IMO

Amaris - aside from the AIBU question, which I guess you've sorted for yourself now, you could always try asking for a reallocation of the two spaces, so that the more spacious one becomes the one designated for children.

"I really appreciate what you're trying to do, such a good idea, etc, but would you consider swapping them over, as the layout in the other bit is naturally more child friendly?"

I'm sure they couldn't object to being asked in those sorts of terms. Then you could win on all fronts (nice and reasonable, well trained in assertiveness, and also with the bit of changing room you prefer)!

I have had adouble mastectomy,its bad enough other women looking at me,i dont wnat kids as well, I always change on my own, not because i have anything to hide,is not my fault, could be them next week, its just a personal thing,I dont like small kids staring at me.

In my local swimming pool there was problems with mothers allowing their sons to use the male changing room then wandering in to see if they were ready, to the embarassment of other men trying to change. There were complaints and the male and female changing rooms are now adult only and children under 15 have to use the family changing areas.

About ten years ago our local gym installed a special area in both the male and female changing rooms for adults with children under 8. At the sme time, they also banned children over age 8 from entering the changing rooms of the opposite sex as well.

It was done at the request of members with and without children as there was no family changing rooms.

Well,

I am glad my gym has one such area.

Before they did, I often found boys of around 6 staring at my boobs and lady bits, and I just feel more relaxed when nobody stares. Even if they are just boys, they still stare openmouthed.

Also, some children run around, hide in lockers etc., not a big deal, but I go there WITHOUT my children to have some much needed child free time, and therefore absolutely relish a grown-up corner.

So I think YABU

YABU as long as the changing rooms are of the same quality.