to cry in the middle of Sainsburys.... :(

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

or AIBU to think I'm not a totally crap mummy??

DS2 is 3 weeks old, after "one of those mornings" with my toddler and newborn, I dropped my toddler of with my aunt and took DS2 for a blood test as he is still a bit jaudance. He was a bit upset during the blood test but had a good feed afterwards and was fine.

Taking advantage of having just DS2 with me, I quickly went into Sainsburys chemist to get some cream for the piles from hell .

Whilst waiting to pay, DS2 had a little cry and the lady behind me said "that baby needs feeding, you mothers now adays, he should be a home"

With that I burst into tears, said he wasn't hungry and was a bit cross after a blood test.......she then tore me to shreads " a blood test!" On and on she went.

So I cried, left my pile cream and cried all the way back to the car looking totally stupid in front of everyone!

Oh and then I couldn't get the car seat in the car as I had been boxed in, so poor little one had to be lifted over the front seat. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I have gone straight home from the hospital??? Was a being a crap parent??

If we knew the old lady had dementia or whatever, there would be more sympathy, jasper - but we do know that she made a mum with a young baby cry in Sainsburys - on that evidence, my compassion stays with the op.

And even if there was something wrong with the old lady, why can't you spare some of your compassion for the mum who actually was upset, rather than saving it all for the possibility that the old lady wasn't just rude and nasty?

Not a bad mother at all. I have every sympathy for her being upset.
But my sympathies are not limited to one side

Go and read the special needs board.

Talk to my friend whose 32 yo SN daughter comes out with inappropriate comments to strangers every day, to the embarrassment of my friend.

No doubt in 40 years the likes of you lot will be calling her rude and nasty/horrible old trout.

There IS absolutely an excuse for rudeness. Mental problems.My friend's daughter has no concept of rudeness.

OK - so if your friend's daughter says something inappropriate and upsets me, I will let it pass and be understanding. But there's no evidence that the old lady who upset the OP had any such problems.

Come on, this lady was rude - why do we have to look for excuses for her bad behavior? Marypoppins, I am sure tomorrow will be better, take care.

You don't get it do you.
My friend's daughter has SN . You know that because I just told you.

In 40years she will be a rude old lady in Sainsbury's. I guarantee.

But you won't feel any sympathy for her.

You will call her a rude old trout. This is actually my friend's biggest fear. My friend will probably be dead by them and not able to excuse/explain her daughter's behaviour.

Shame on you

Yes, I will call her rude, because she will have been rude!

Admittedly I would feel bad if someone then informed me of her mental state, but until someone does, you can't just presume that she has a certain condition that makes her that way, because generally, IME, some people are just plain rude and no excuses should be made.

If someone stole your purse, would you say "Oh, poor thing. Is probably a kleptomaniac"? No, you would be justifiably upset and pissed off, as the OP is.

OP you are not a crap mummy and YANBU at all to want to shout at that horrible old windbag. I remember crying several times at the supermarket during the postpartum phase. There was probably nothing wrong with her, lots of old people are just CRABBY. Ignore them.

YANBU- I hate that random strangers felt they knew more about my babies needs than I did! In the butcher's once ds started grizzling and an old man behind me nudged me and said "that bairn needs a bottle pet!"
I turned around, smiled and said, loud enough for all the gawpers to hear, "actually he is being breastfed and has just been fed, but I'll whip em out again if you think I must"

He shut up.

Why do they all think it any of their business?? Do they really think mums wouldn't KNOW if their baby was hungry without their insight? GRRRR

I have a son with Tourettes and he can be rude, the fact I know why he does it and the fact he can not help it does not mean it is not rude.

SN of not rude is rude.

Just read this thread and of course YANBU, we can't always go around thinking of every possible excuse why people are rude, when you've got a small crying baby and someone has a go it is entirely natural to feel hurt and upset. God knows it is hard enough without getting a load of grief from a stranger!

Anyway, OPs question was should she have gone straight home & was she being a crap mother for going to Sainsbury's - of course not. No idea why this other Biddy felt she could say all that rubbish, but OP you are not a crap mother for trying to get yourself something you need on the way home - no you are not!! Just try and forget about this incident - the woman clearly has issues of some sort so it is her who has a problem, legitimate or otherwise, not you.

YANBU and we can start an 'I cried in Sainsburys support group'

When I was pg with dd2 I was pushing dd1 around the shop - in the nappy aisle in fact- when a bloke started effing and blinding and as dd was at the parrot stage I asked him to mind his language.

It all got really heated and aggressive with his (also heavily pregnant) girlfriend having a go at me , they were removed by the security guard, I burst into tears all over the poor checkout lady and had to be escorted to my car in case they were waiting for me outside...

God people commenting on crying babies really boils my piss.

Yes, it is a shame. Poor little thing.

No, I don't want to get a dummy. I have five differently shaped ones at home, none of which do the slightest bit of good.

No, she's not hungry. I've just fed her. And burped her.

No, she's not dirty either. I've just change the nappy. Twice.

She is wrapped up in three layers, plus blankets, therefore doesn't need a 'little bonnet'. She clearly isn't too hot either.

She's tired. That's why I'm walking her round the park, to try and get her to sleep.

Thank you so very, very much for your split-second formed opinion based on sod-all knowledge of what is up with my daughter. Looking after her 24/7, I couldn't possibly have the slightest idea of what is wrong. Either that, or I simply don't care and would much rather inflict this terrible noise on the rest of you.

THANK-YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

Feeling loads better after a nights sleep....well a few hours anyway!

Thank goddness i'm not alone, really made me feel better reading your stories this morning. The lady was wearing nursing scrubs from the local private hospital where they do all the nip and tucks ......maybe she had a bad day...... but it was just so intimidating.

Fingers crossed for a better day......stating well clear of supermarkets!

YANBU

I wish I'd been standing behind you in the queue - I would have said something to the woman who was so rude to you!

But have to say - when I encounter a crying bab y in a shop I LONG for the mother to pick it up and cuddle it, and if she doesn't, I feel desperate to get in there and cuddle the baby myself! I can get quite twitchy about it, though I would never say anything to a mum.

When my own babies cried when I was out I'd always take them out their pram or car seat to calm them down, even when I was loaded down with shopping or trying to control a toddler as well. Probably made a rod for my own back, but I just couldn't help it. I'm not good with crying.

MaryPoppins - I am glad you are feeling better today, and that you are feeling reassured about what happened. You did nothing wrong by going into Sainsburys and you are not a bad mother.

Jasper - presumeably your friend is trying to teach her daughter the obvious ways that she can tell if she has offended or upset someone - for example, if the person she speaks to, bursts into tears - and trying to teach her the appropriate response? Even if she can only manage that some of the time, that is going to mitigate the problem in years to come.