To think other nursery parents need to grow up

[ibangthedrums]

Was having chat to DS1's nursery workers this morning. He has been going for ages and we get on well so they often "gossip" with me.

DS has a male worker in his pre school room which I think is fab but had not given it too much thought. He is great with the children - they all adore him.

In our chat, one of the other workers told me that most of the other parents don't like him working there. He is not allowed to change any nappies or even go into the toilet area. He is also not allowed to be in the room/garden area on his own with any children. People have even complained when he has covered the baby room!

I am furious that people can be so small minded and the nursery owner should stand up to the parents but I seem to be in the minority. AIBU?

Perhaps you should tell the nursery staff that they are breaking the law exercising sex discrimination.I suspect what might be the case is that it might be at the guy's behest.he may be concerned about allegations being made against him and is trying to protect himself

This thread makes me a bit sad. I adore my son's nursery nurse, he's male too,and think it's really good as a role model to see men in a variety of care-giving roles, not just women.

Oh whatever next?! Are people going to start complaining about having male teachers soon aswell? Imagine the carnage in our schools if half the teachers had to leave!!

Ridiculous.

No, I forgot all about it, idiot. So you didn't see me! I don't suspect any other Mumsnetters from the parents I have met, I think we're safe

I always find it reassuring when I spend time at the nursery and DD thinks P is fab, she calls out for him as soon as we get there! I think he is more fun in a lot of ways that the girls might not be. He was showing DD a real life spider the other day as she isn't keen on the big furry one they have hanging up (not a surprise!) which I thought was really thoughtful and sweet.

Chipper you shouldn't get flamed for giving your honest opinion. I do think it's a sad society we live in though all the same, after all if a guy is not a pervet then he's not thinking of anything other than cleaning a child up, just as a woman would do. Did your father change your nappies and how does that make you feel?

I feel sorry for my DS sometimes, when I change his nappy and have his legs up in the air, and start digging around his bits, trying to get out the nasty bits. Very undignified, I agree, but it has to be done, a bit like going to the midwife/obstetrician/gynaecologist, or giving birth with your legs in stirrups. When I commented on to a midwife visiting us after the birth, that I had had to lose all my shame, she told me playfully, "You will get it all back again, dear!" So the lack of dignity is something which doesn't have to bleed into all parts of life. I suppose that is a thread in itself....

I guess babies and small children have to put up with it because they can't do it themselves, so it is just as well they aren't too aware of the lack of dignity (or seem to forget about it).

Riven, I know from other things you have said that your daughter is in a different situation, so perhaps with her, it would be best for her carers to act like carers for the elderly: changing and caring for a person who is aware and who is sensitive but who can't help him/herself.

i don't understand why chipper feels the way she does. could you explain further please chipper ?
is it a man looking at baby girls ? do ladies with boys feel the same way about a woman carer changing her ds's nappy and seeing his penis ?
i don't care who see's my boys willies. not in swimming pool changing room, or anyone can change his nappy. anyone.

I've worked in nurseries for the last 18 years. I've also been a man the whole time, ever since I was born in fact. I think all the staff and parents I've worked with have been very supportive. There may have been things going on behind my back but they never got through to me except one child was removed from my nursery and one person didn't want me to be their child's keyworker. The attitude to me has been overwhelmingly positive.

If people have a problem with men in childcare I must publicly say I'm saddened and politely disagree with them. I'm very professional like that. Privately however,...fuck 'em. Those retarded old hairy faced troll-women droning on about their sexist views on the world pisses me off. Don't like men? Fuck off to the 1950s and stay at home looking after your own kids if you like that era so much, when kids worked down mines, washing took a whole day, women had to have their husbands views and everybody died of TB aged 35. I don't care about your views on what men should do because I don't care about you. You're a backwards waste of oxygen and your children would be better off with Madonna rather than with you filling their heads with shit.

The recent cases of abuse from women has helped men in nurseries. Sad to get help that way of course. I have the additional problem of being a bit of a nancy too, which people often link with paedophilia.

Bit fed up now! But getting back to the children tomorrow will cheer me up as normal.

I'm secretly disappointed at "Parent and baby changing areas" that you have nowadays. In the old days, whenever I took children on trips I had to be excused changing nappies as all the facilities were in the Ladies.

My Ds2's preschool have a male nursery nurse, never bothers me, but know that people do get worried about it.

When my first cild was tiny, I held this opinion that I weouldn't want my child around an unknown man

Now, as a single parent of 2 rambunctious boys, I can see how men in nurseries are A Good Thing

Men seem to 'get' little boys somehow. My BF, wehn I am particularly antsy about Ds1's behavior, gives me a 'you weirdo' look and says "he's a boy. He's got a winky. he probably doesn't want to sit and make cards when he can make paper planes and run around with them on the stairs!"

Ha ha TiggyD hope you feel better to have got that off your chest!
I think it is a great thing to have both sexes working in a nursery and as for role models I think even at nursery age it is important. My ds is only six months but definitely shows more interest in looking at and studying men than women so imo they can learn from a very young age.
Also the recent horrific story about children being abused in a nursery - two female abusers were there not?

but why did you think that coldtits, when they were tiny ?

yanbu
ds did a placement at a nursery....suprise suprise it didn't last, think the mummies wern't keen on a teen boy being arround their children(no worries as he got a better one at an sn college)
We are lucky at dd's respite place thier are a few men and she gets a lot out of mixing with them(they don't do nappies and toileting)
I think it is a shame parents are so stupid about this.

TiggyD I agree with you(apart from the word retarded)

Yanbu, that is discrimination.

This is sad and it is discrimination. However, it is possible that the nursery is doing it to protect the male member of staff. I suppose it similar to me having a male sonographer perform an internal ultrasound. He had to be chaperoned.

have they forgotten that 50% of parents are men ?

So Chipper, would you have a problem with a female worker changing a boy's nappy??

Message withdrawn

That is terrible! We need far more male teachers/carers in schools and nurseries. We should be supporting them. I read a statistic that 90% of men would feel unable to physically help a child they didn't know even if they were in distress. That's horrendous, IMO.