Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel hurt at troll accusations?

94 replies

Vivia · 09/03/2010 20:47

I posted a thread this morning that has shocked and saddened many MNers. I was a bit judgmental in my OP because I was in shock. People questioned why a person would come on here and reveal such awful information: I had no one else to talk to.

I made nothing up. I didn't sit weeping all day, that's why I have other random questions on MN today, and nor did I concoct a fantasy world either. As you can all see, I have frequently posted topics on MN and reply to others. I feed biscuits to real trolls, I'm not one!

Certainly my OP was true but perhaps in poor taste or badly worded: I wasn't thinking straight.

I feel physically sick knowing that people here think I would make up a story about a baby being accidentally hurt. I didn't.

People thought that the family involved would be recognizable by location if you figured out where I stay. I have always used the city I lived in as a student as 'home' on here, it's not actually where I am. I revealed nothing by way of identity and am angry to be accused of such.

That said, many people talked me through the sad situation and shared good tips on helping an injured child. You are all lovely.

I'm leaving MN now, decent people should not be made to feel monstrous here.

Thanks.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 09/03/2010 21:26

no, another mumsnetter posted about a similar incident.

RedRedWine1980 · 09/03/2010 21:28

Is nobody allowed to post about an incident that hasn't happened before?
Well glad ive been learnt that lesson!

thisisyesterday · 09/03/2010 21:29

exactly Brahms.

what do the trollhunters hope to achieve? aside from upsetting genuine posters?

what is your aim when you sit there going on and on and on at someone, picking apart their posts and claiming not to believe them for one reason or another??

what is it, exactly, that you think will happen???

QuintessentialShadows · 09/03/2010 21:36

Oh, I dont know.

I read the first thread, it was not so bad. The op was not picked a part. There was some comments, but to be fair, it was in AIBU, and everybody knows what AIBU can be like.
The op WAS critical of the mum, in hindsight, truth be told, so why should there not be a discussion regards to whether we SHOULD be judgemental when somebody was doing such a mistake. There was a lot similar stories shared, and I think most who wanted the thread pulled was thinking about the poor mum in question if she got to know about the thread.

The majority of posters did not think the op was a troll, and those who did were told to curb it.

The op herself seem to be keen to continue the trolling accusation discussion here on THIS thread.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 09/03/2010 21:39

It was unnecessary though.

The thing that makes me laugh, and is inevitable when threads descended into childishness, is the 'WHERE IS THE OP THEN?' hysteria. Uhm, maybe doing something real, you know, like in real life?

Can't remember if it was on vivia's one or the 'posting styles' one.

sausagepastie · 09/03/2010 21:41

Who posted yesterday quint and was it an identical story? I didn't see that one.

Nice to see nobody's having a go at Shiney over this though...it's about time she stopped taking the rap.

bernadetteoflourdes · 09/03/2010 21:43

Vivia I read your post and "thought there but for the grace of god go I". Yes troll hunting can be fun but its best to stick to the obvious ones like Coleen last week who was enjoying playing along and I believe her ds or dh is posting at the mo as a dead doll on another thread and has been outed as an obvious troll so IMHO they are fair game.Someone posted last week about hitting her dp and far from feeling remorseful about it she came on AIBU to seek validation for her vile actions from us whether she was genuine or not we don't know but as a truly vile poster I guess she deserved it a little. Your post was another matter it just would have been in pretty poor taste to poke fun at this subject in any way shape or form. On the mnet server site I believe there is a thread on just this issue and that this kind of ott troll hunting can really hurt a genuine op and I can see that. I totally get why you are upset I have seen some other posts from you so I dont believe you are a rookie. Although I lurked on mnet last year and did not join up until the Autumn I could see that a lot of newbies were running the"are they a troll?" gauntlet. I think it is a kind of mnet rite of passage. For my part I don't mind I think it is quite funny as I was accused of being a Gina Ford Troll the other day. But I am for you as your post was shocking, so I just thought I am not
going to get into that one! Give Mnet another chance!

EcoMouse · 09/03/2010 21:46

I didn't think you were a troll but why post such an emotive OP in AIBU if you are unable to cope with emotive reactions to the extent of flouncing?

Goodbye and good luck, by the way

PixieOnaLeaf · 09/03/2010 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thisisyesterday · 09/03/2010 21:50

the topic is am i being unreasonable...

not, am i a troll and should you all be really nasty???

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/03/2010 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheFirstLady · 09/03/2010 21:53

I too say your thread and, like the vast majority, thought you were not a troll but someone in shock trying to process what seemed like a pretty horrific thing to have witnessed.
The troll hunting on here has got completely out of hand recently, but there are far more posters who are pissed off by the constant peering under the bridge than there are troll-hunters.
It really fecks me off actually that the automatic response to anyone posting anything unusual or upsetting is to suspect them of being a hairy-handed trucker. What do they want, a Mumsnet made of up wall-to-wall "what are you having for dinner" threads? People post on here to share, and sometimes to help them process difficult or painful experiences. The amateur detectives are creating a climate of suspicion that is making it difficult to do that. FGS, even if your post was made up it was still a very stark reminder to us all of just how careful you need to be with hot drinks; something that we could all bear being reminded of.
If people don't believe a post is real, alert MN by all means and then leave the thread - even a thread based on a lie can become a source of useful advice after all.

compo · 09/03/2010 21:53

it'll be in the news anyway so we'll know it's true

bernadetteoflourdes · 09/03/2010 21:54

Hey and Vivia I have been on a couple of forums in the past but not as seriously as mnet and in the old days before I was tech aware I referred to a thread as a bloginadvertently. I never knew till I arrived on Mnet that posters are known as vipers, seems pretty appropriate huh?

TheFirstLady · 09/03/2010 21:55

Why do you say it will be in the news Compo? I don't think that's likely.

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/03/2010 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PixieOnaLeaf · 09/03/2010 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IngridFletcher · 09/03/2010 21:56

It was in AIBU because she was asking AIBU for thinking the mum should have taken more care. That is what most of the posters criticising the OP were complaning about. I think that has been forgotten in all this hoohaa about trolls. It was judgy about what may be for that mum the terrible injury or even death of her baby.

compo · 09/03/2010 21:57

well i was thinking it would be in the local news if it happened in a local cafe, I know it would be where I live

PixieOnaLeaf · 09/03/2010 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShadeofViolet · 09/03/2010 21:59

I dont agree Compo - not everything reaches the news, especially not this quickly.

sausagepastie · 09/03/2010 21:59

Shiney I'd abandon it now if I were you, before people start assuming it's about you

glad you are ok btw.

wannaBe · 09/03/2010 22:01

firstly, I hate this assumption that becauseyou post in ibu it means you should be immune to criticism/bullying/a pasting basically. Personally I think the ibu board has a lot to answer for in terms of the way many posters are treated on mn.

Secondly, I don't get this advice to namechange. Why should someone namechange if they've been treated harshly/unfairly/or even if they've been accused of being a troll? I wouldn't namechange. If you're not a troll (and I don't have any reason to think you are), then stand up for yourself and don't namechange.

Lastly, this is the internet, and the reality is that none of us really knows whether anyone on here is telling the truth about things they post about. I do think that sometimes there is need to post suspicion about trolls, such as posters like dizzymare/cvq/other damaging posters, but in circs such as the original op I really can't see the point. No-one was named, no-one is getting emotionally sucked in, it was an incident involving a third party, so even if it's not true the thread would have died in a day or two anyway, so what was the point with the troll accusations?

compo · 09/03/2010 22:01

I didn't say it would be in the local news right this minute!
but where I live it would be in the next weekly local paper

islandofsodor · 09/03/2010 22:03

No way would an incident like that be in our local paper unless God forbid the child died and then it wouldn't be until the inquest.

Only likely to make the news if there was some negligence on the part of the cafe itself.

I have seen several near misses and was scalded myself as a child (I still have a slight scar) so not an unusual occurence.