wiht a friend's DIL

[fallon8]

friends and I have made it plain, if ,you both "go out to work",we are not providing free child care. So, yesterday,we are all set to go out,then that bloody phone call, would it be possible to pick upgrandchld,we umed and aahed for a bit,but eventually said yes. We enterained said chld aged 3.for a couple of hours, when we could have been doing something much more interesting, we made easter chicks, out of yellow pom poms,Child thrilled, DIL. less so, what would have happened if she had got some bits in her mouth,there is glue and scissors etc, Anyway, we told her not to be so precious,get over it and dont ask us again to look after your child. So, exit, one crying child because she isnt allwoed easter chicken due to health and safety, furious DIL,for "upsetting" child, 2 older ladies reaching for Gin bottle and saying," what on earth did he see in her,really, he could have done so much better" OH, her own mother,on cruise,she refuses to be a cheap nanny too.

Even leaving aside the issue of providing "cheap/free" childcare, it is off to ask someone to look after a child at short notice, then moan about how it was done, particularly as no harm was done and the child was "thrilled"!

A 3 year old not allowed to use glue and scissors? I presume you were supervising? How odd!

you didn't have to look after the child, so stop moaning!
i take it this wasn't your grandchild ( bloody hopes not! )
and unless the DILS partner has sun shining out of his arse then i suggest you take in the knowledge that most men marry a woman similar to their own mother! what does that say haha!

I would hate you to be my mum or MIL you sound really selfish. My Mum has 20 grandchildren and sees them all almost every week she is what a grandparent should be - loving and caring.

If you really don't like children what are you doing on this site!!

Just say no then.

this must be a wind up

it's a friend's DIL? Why is she ringing you?

hmmm i think you are doing this in response to every ' i hate my mil' thread!

So don't agree to do it again.

Or wait until the DS and DIL split up and then never see the child again. That would be better, wouldn't it.

I don't think yabu. You did someone a favour and they were imo very rude in return

but you make the point.grandchild..we dont want to look after them,No, I dont look after my own unless really pushed, No, im not selfish,bet if you did a survey on here,many grandparents would agree,we have done it.
Actually, today Im laughing about it,I think most of all, the schreeching DIL,her mum on a cruise with the bowling club,my friend wring ing her hands and saying "when i think of all the girls he could have married and he chose that one"..mind you i do that with my boys,but I dont have to live with them.One I get on with really well, she is a delight.a Russian girl, no family here and is lovely,the other one, because I dont have a degree doesnt rate me,her loss, our daughter has brought home some treasures,but thank god, never maried any of them,even she agrees now! So, it wasnt all bad.There will be other times to make chicken pom poms and go curling.

I am loving and caring,but there is no law that says i have to look after them and certainly not 20.

Sorry, you don't sound loving and caring. Your post makes you sound not very nice.

YANBU - this particular grandchild seems to have had fun - how very dare she!! She was supervised with the scissors and pompoms, got to make a little toy and enjoyed herself. The DiL (who seems to have not only a chip on her shoulder but an entire fish supper) sounds like a right bitch. You did her a favour. She should have just said thanks for minding the child, took the chicken, said goodbye and then thrown the chicken in the bin.

I am a DiL and no way would I ever be as rude to an IL who was doing me a favour.

I am ready with the fire extinguisher to put out the flames for this post.

Jeez, the way you talk about people OP is not showing you in a good light at all....

Most decent grandparents want to be involved in their GC lives. It's not like the DIL was making a habit of it, a one off surely is permissible???

It's not 'childcare' as you so hideously put, some GP actually invite their GC to spend time with them, alone without the parents.... It's called building a family relationship.... I doubt it's the fact that you don't have a degree is why your DIL doesn't talk to you OP.

I dare say that your friend may be as vile in general to her DIL, and for this reason the DIL was rude and over-reacted.

She was rude, she played right into her MIL's hands, and I bet she's kicking herself for that, as well she might. I doubt, however, she'll be burdening her MIL with her own GC again.

How truly, truly sad and pathetic it is to be so ANTI your own GC. Wonder if your own mothers was as hands off as you both are? Willing to bet that they weren't....

Makes mental note to self to hug the hell out of my mum. She tried the "I don't want to be a GM" crap too, but even she realises just how much of an idiotic thing that was to think, and how hurtful and unfair it was to me. She can't get enough of her GC. In spite of the false start with me, she is now a fab GM.

Fallon,

Fair enough you don't want to help out with your grandkids.

When you are elderly and unable to look after yourself will you expect your children to help you?

Are there really mothers who flip out over glue and stuff?
Honestly?
Or is all this just another way of saying - you know some DILs are a bit shit and MILs put up with a lot of unreasonableness sometimes?

Cos you could have just posted that, you know?

What aload of bollocks, dont believe this for one minute... Too many "buzzwords" in there to try and rile us up... Free childcare, Going out to work, Health and safety, hateful MIL/DIL.
Nice try though.

Fao of one fat arse...a nd any others. We have discussed this, no, I dont expect to look after me at all,anyway, DH and i will have spent any money by then on ourselves.
Notimetotidy...as nursery school is nearer my house, they came to me..1...I knit and have yarn etc and she loves to rummage thru' my death trap knitting/sewing stuff.
2.i have cats and dogs,which DIL, thinks are a health hazard,dont let on. child sits on sofa in kitchen "sharing" eggy bread with cat.3. Child knows we will just leave her to get on with it under supervision..4...friend had cleaned kitcchen floor, quite reasonably didnt want footprints all over it. 5...The DIl has the usual mickey mouse degree in business studies from the university of back of beyond,according to her, university dept. would grind to a halt without her,we asked how they have managed for the past 200 years or so without her. I actually dont care that my DIL bypasses me to get to my husband who has degrees coming out of his ears,she often berates my son because he doesnt have university qualifications either,but then he is in the RAF, and runs rings round her.
But thankyou for all those who see my point, yes, the child did have fun,perhaps thats the problem,as I said, Im laughing about it today.

In a way, I hope you're a troll.

Because, if you're genuine, then you must be really unpleasant.

fallon, who will choose your nursing home, or arrange carers ect?

OFA...usually what happens , the care is allocated depending on the needs of the person, then a package is put in place.if the person is able, they have some say,likewise, the family may have some say,if i am unable, in which case it wont matter.

Is "friend" a euphamism? Is this your boy/girlfriend you live with?

If not I can't see how it's any of your business

I am so unbelievably confused by this OP.. Is it her DIL or someone elses? And if it is someone else's DIL, why is her education any business of yours? I'm struggling here to see the problem. Next time, just say you don't want to sit for her child! And if this is your grandchild then I am really sad for you. I have a terrible relationship with my maternal grandmother because she was such a selfish woman, and did not even remotely try and cultivate a relationship with us. In fact, everything you have said in your last post could have been written by her.

What a shame.. you are missing out on some exceptionally amazing moments.

Hahaha!