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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make the kids pay towards stuff they want?

81 replies

Enchilada81 · 09/03/2010 11:44

Last weekend I told the kids I'd take them to McDonalds as a treat. They didn't show much enthusiasm which was unusual and DD and DS (13 and 11) told me "Happy Meals" are babyish and they're sick of having to have them. Apparantly "all their mates" get proper meals. I thought it over and came up with the idea that if they want anything else, they have to put something towards it themselves. So for instance I'll give them the £2 which a happy meal would have cost and if they want a Big Mac meal they can put the rest towards it themselves. Is this mean?

Another thing is the trampoline cover is knackered and its too dangerous for them to play on. Therefore, before the weather gets much nicer, we're planning on getting them a new one.

The prices we've seen are around £25.

Is it unreasonable to ask the kids to put £5 each of their pocket money towards getting a new one?

OP posts:
chandellina · 09/03/2010 12:58

I always had to pay from my own pocket money if we went to McDonalds as a child, otherwise we wouldn't have gone.

They may not have earning power but they have income from their allowance and cash presents from relatives, etc.

I think children should learn to contribute rather than feeling entitled to parents paying for their every need and desire.

GetOrfMoiLand · 09/03/2010 12:58

Apparently Mcds delivery in certain parts of america.

I am glad that they don't do it in the UK.

ifancyashandy · 09/03/2010 12:59

I think YABU regarding the McD's (but I dont think McD's is a treat - more torture! Horrid food. Sorry) But if I did take my DD there, I wouldn't make her contribute.

However, I don't think YABU concerning the trampoline. I disagree with some on here who've said it's a household item. Not in my home! Round mine, a hoover / washing machine is a household item (and wouldn't dream of asking them to contribute to their upkeep!) but the trampoline is a toy / fun. And I don't think asking them to chip in is unreasonable. That said, I might ask them to earn it via chores round the house.

ShadeofViolet · 09/03/2010 13:00

I have a Mcdonalds about 500 metres from my house - its a daily struggle and this thread hasnt made it any easier!

chandellina · 09/03/2010 13:00

btw, a Happy Meal has 420 calories - that is plenty to fill up a child and a big snack for a 13 year old.

thumbwitch · 09/03/2010 13:04

how interesting - Enchilada is almost an anagram of chandellina - only a couple of letters different! no wonder you have similar ideas.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 09/03/2010 13:05

It isn't filling though - it's empty calories.

Calories mean nothing in proper nutritional terms.

seeker · 09/03/2010 13:06

Sadly, calories don't fill!

coldtits · 09/03/2010 13:06

A teenage boy needs 2500 calories per day in order to develop normally.

If we are splitting that into 3 meals and 2 snacks, allowing that the snacks are 200 calories each, each meal needs to be around 700 calories.

If a Happy Meal is to make up one of these meals, you are somehow going to have to fit 300 calories into the next meal, making it 1000 calories, and either very fatty (not ideal) or very bulky (also not ideal) and the child is going to be physically hungry about an hour after eating.

It's not a meal. It's a large snack. A meal still has to be provided.

Morloth · 09/03/2010 13:06

Gah ShadeofViolet I am so glad Maccas takes an effort here. At home I find myself in the drivethrough waaaaay to often.

But I have just put some chips in the oven now thanks to this thread.

ShadeofViolet · 09/03/2010 13:06

Well spotted Thumbwitch!

coldtits · 09/03/2010 13:07

My 6 year old is still hungry after a happy meal. It's a fun thing, bought for the toy. I still have to give him dinner, and he's a skinny thing.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 09/03/2010 13:11

But I do think you are being mean Op

If you can't afford to eat out then don't.

Reminds me of a friend I had when I was young - she'd get 50p piece from each of her grans every sunday but her parents aways put it ino he electric meter, promising to pay her back - they never did. at the age of 9, that is so sad.

ShadeofViolet · 09/03/2010 13:14

TheDevilWearsPrimark My parents did that but it used to be used for the Phonebox as we didnt have a land line. It makes me sad to think about it now and I always am very careful that if the children get given any money it is spent on them or saved in thier bank accounts.

Pitchounette · 09/03/2010 13:15

Message withdrawn

Soapsy · 09/03/2010 13:21

Why do the kids get new clothes more or less every week? Maybe a little less on clothes which they can't be wearing out that quickly, or going out of fashion that quickly, or even growing out of that quickly, and a little more on McD if that is your chosen 'treat'.

GetOrfMoiLand · 09/03/2010 13:24

Oh DWP that is sad about your friend.

My wages from my jobs when a teen all went to my gran to pay for keep - from the age of 12 onwards.

I have gone the other way - dd gets the child benefit as her allowance. She has to buy her clothes out of that (I buy basic clothes, she buys crap treats and extras), sweets, books, make up, music, saves up for mad trainers etc.

She never pays for food.

OtterInaSkoda · 09/03/2010 13:27

YABVU OP to post on AIBU and not "expect people to jump to stupid conclusions"

BattyKoda · 09/03/2010 13:27

Fancy a Big Mac now though...

chandellina · 09/03/2010 13:29

i said 420 calories is a big snack for a teenager, and certainly a full meal for a child. The breakdown of protein/fat/carbohydrate roughly pro-rates to what it should be for the full day child's nutritional recommendation. (high on fat though)

I most certainly have nothing to do with the OP, no matter what anagram you see in my name!

zippyzapper · 09/03/2010 13:34
  1. get them some real food - and don't make them pay for it!
  1. totally rude to make them pay towards a trampoline.

I think this is a wind up.

TaintedGem · 09/03/2010 13:35

Yabu.

ifancyashandy · 09/03/2010 13:36

Pictchoutte - how, at 11 and 13 years are OP's kids not children anymore?!

Very much still kids in my eyes. And if, using your argument, they are not kids, then surely it's not unreasonable for them to contribute to treats (the trampoline, not Mc'D's as I put earlier)

ifancyashandy · 09/03/2010 13:37

Pitchoutte - how, at 11 and 13 years are OP's kids not children anymore?!

Very much still kids in my eyes. And if, using your argument, they are not kids, then surely it's not unreasonable for them to contribute to treats (the trampoline, not Mc'D's as I put earlier)

crankytwanky · 09/03/2010 13:45

OP, fwiw, I order a Happy Meal in McDougals. It's enough for me for lunch, and I'm a 29yo pregnant lady! And you get a rubbish cool toy!

I wouldn't ask my children to contribute towards lunch though. If I can't afford to take them out, we stay in.

I did however ask my DD (younger than your two) to pay towards her bike and DS as we couldn't have afforded to buy those things outright for her birthday/christmas.
She saved, and could afford what she wanted within a few months. She learned an important lesson IMO.