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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at DD's school for giving free trips to free school meals while I pay a packet?

95 replies

justgavebirth · 08/03/2010 21:06

Kids were invited ice-skating and school subsidised children AND adults who are getting free school meals. Of course DD wanted to go and I had to pay £20. Couldn't take my other children because an adult had to accompany each child and I could not afford it.

Two more letters tonight that DD would love to go to but I have had to say no and upset DD. One is for £15 per person (adult must accompany child) and one is for £6.50 per person (adult must accompany child)

If I got free school meals I could take the whole family out on a trip!

Stupid scheme, why can they not just reduce the price for everyone!

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 09/03/2010 10:04

no,i know kat...its hard

on the plus side,dd couldnt go on a residential last year...she'd already been on one trip,so i said no. but as she was one of a handful left behind,she went on a weeks work experience at the lower school...she was year 8 at middle school....and she had a fab time,useful as she plans to be a teacher too!

SparklyGothKat · 09/03/2010 10:08

when Ds1 stayed behind in year 5, with a small group, they each took a £1 coin in, started their own fruit lolly making business and sold them during the week, after school for 10p, at the end of the week they split the profits and came home with nearly £3 each.. It was a lesson in businesses and profit. He loved it..

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 09/03/2010 10:44

Can see both sides. I am guessing low imcome benefits are more sliding scale now? when I was growing up (secondary mainly), it was pretty harsh! Just over the line and you were WORSE off than being on benefits... But I think we were classed as low income so I guess we would get help? Not sure... I think I got a grant for 6th form? But not free School Meals? Living on the cusp can be very hard, and for that perhaps we should sympathise with the OP? She isn't saying those on fsM don't deserve the trips etc, but that some acknowledgment from the school that the options are very pricey wouldn't be amiss. I know tho that there are a range of things that qualify you for FSM (we had a letter), so am guessing more cusp families should be included... perhaps the OP needs to look into whether she does in fact qualify?

That said, the trips in the OP don't seem to form real inclusive practice. In order for low income families it has to be subsidised (fair enough), but the price also puts it outside of the finances of children who would not normally qualify for help. This doesn't seem a very sensible approach?

SparklyGothKat · 09/03/2010 10:52

Personally I think schools should make ALL trips affordable for everyone, so that low income families can afford it without having to have handouts and the families just above the line could also afford it.

SparklyGothKat · 09/03/2010 10:54

I mean I nearly choked when I was given the first residental trip letter, it was about £180, I am sure my parents used to pay about £50 for my trips.

SpringHeeledJack · 09/03/2010 11:21

I don't know why they're so expensive- I think schools choose the pricey ones with loads of high tech activities rather than the more basic ones. This is a waste of cash, imo- to compare, our school's Monday to Friday residential course cost just shy of 200 quid- while a Woodcraft weekend at Easter will cost us 35 for four days!

surely the point of a residential week (in primary, anyway) is that they can experience being away from home, see and do new things, and bond with each other? they don't really need to do abseiling, do they?

...do they??

MmeLindt · 09/03/2010 11:33

The issue is not school meals or benefits.

It is about the trips being too expensive across the board.

And I can sympathise with the OP about being just over the threshold of receiving assistance, it is the worst of both worlds.

It is not that the OP grudges the less well off children the chance to go on these trips.

Can we blame her for wishing her children could take part in the same activities that both the poorer and the more wealthy can participate in?

SoupDragon · 09/03/2010 12:22

"Personally I think schools should make ALL trips affordable for everyone"

A nice idea but impossible in practice. If the school subsidises the trips, the money has to be taken from elsewhere in the budget. If they curtail the trips the children miss out (and I'm not talking ice skating here). Coach travel is far more expensive now (I had to pay for trips which were coach travel only for choir rehearsals).

MotherTed · 09/03/2010 12:53

Coincidentally, we got the following letter emailed to us from the school this morning:

Dear Parents/Carers

Our family of schools is developing a new opportunity for children called ME2

This is a project designed to give children, who claim free school meals, a chance to participate in positive activities for free!

We are asking all eligible parents and carers to register for free school meals - even if your child will still bring a packed lunch! This will ensure our schools are able to access all the available funding so as many children as possible can benefit.

So how does it work?
In the next few months we will be surveying pupils to see what activities/clubs they would like to try. Children on free schools meals will not be singled out. With your permission, we will try and make eligible children?s ?wish list? a reality - in most cases by finding a local club/activity that they can use for free. We will chat to children about how this is going.

I can see that it must be hard on those who live just above the FSM line and can't afford to go. But then the only option is probably that no one can go. It's the way the funding works.

sarah293 · 09/03/2010 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sweetkitty · 09/03/2010 13:17

I do think some of these residential courses are far too pricey but what I am annoyed at is the fact that some 5 year olds cannot go to the safari park for the day as some children cannot afford it. I for one think the school could do more to make it affordable for low income families, I wouldn't mind paying a little bit extra to subsidise it and am sure the school could do a fundraiser or something.

Seems a shame as the ones who can afford it miss out on a school trip but at least they can go outwith school and the ones that cannot well that's probably the only chance they have for a little day out.

Chrysanthemum5 · 09/03/2010 13:21

Our school works out all the trips at the start of the year, and then asks for a 'donation' to cover the costs. It isn't much, certainly not £20 per trip! The PTA runs events throughout the year, and all profits go towards subsidising children who receive free school meals to allow them to go on trips - which I think is a great way of arranging it.

I can see how difficult it must be if you are just over the threshold for free school meals as you then have to pay for so many things. But that's not a reason to take away trips from children who may not be able to go otherwise.

However, I think YANBU about the cost.

Whoamireally · 10/03/2010 13:15

MotherTed are they encouraging you to be a co-conspirator in fraud?

Reading your post, seems like the school is saying hey, we know you don't actually want school meals cause you bring in sarnies. But we'd like the funding for those meals, which we won't have to use to actually PROVIDE a meal and will pocket instead.

I know they're saying that you need to be registered for them to claim additional funding but it all seems a bit to me..

Morloth · 10/03/2010 13:22

I think your life would be much happier if you stopped worrying about what other people were "getting" and just focussed on what you are doing.

If you can't afford the price, either ask for some assistance from the school or tell your DD she can't go.

DS doesn't go on all extras that the school offers. Because I don't think they are worth the money.

rotool · 10/03/2010 14:24

URBVU DC being spoilt thinking they should be able to go on every school trip.You should explain to DC what it is to be poor. I hope they will then have a better understanding than you do.

fernie3 · 10/03/2010 14:29

I dont think that the school is being unreasonable by not asking for money from poorer families and I can see the need for free school dinners. I also dont think that you are being unreasonable to be annoyed. My daughter has three close friends in school now and each gets free school meals but we do not and cant afford to pay for them so she has packed lunch which means that she cant sit with her friends at lunch (it is hard to explain why to a 5 year old!). Luckily she hasnt been asked to go on any trips yet the only thing we have had is non uniform and toy donations etc. We did struggle to pay for the christmas dinner because she doesnt normal have them they wanted £6.50 for the dinner (seemed expensive to me but still) and sent the letter home 2 days before it needed to be paid and 4 days before pay day we had £0 so I was moving the couch and emptying the drawers at 11pm trying to find loose change.
I am dreading needing to pay for school trips!

From the other side there are people who dont get thigns free and just have more money than us and from them we get the "ballet and swimming lesson jealousy" my daughter really wants to go to the ballet class they go to but its just too expensive - I offered a cheaper one but its more about being the same as the others at that age!

no matter what you get/dont get there will always be more!

PavlovtheCat · 10/03/2010 21:42

morloth you said what i meant to say. If I was not so wound up. But I guess, i would have added more still. I just think by thinking more about what others get, it makes us so much less supportive of others, so much less generous (in nature as well as money), so prickly that we have less time to give a toss about our fellow neighbours, we watch every penny we spend to make sure someone else does not get it. It is ours. It is just stuff at the end of the day. And missing out on the odd trip won't stop your children from becoming great people, but missing out on ALL the trips, which some poorer families would find, could stop them from becoming great people. As they might give up trying.

cat64 · 10/03/2010 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WillowM2B · 10/03/2010 22:39

I'm amazed at the cost increase of trips in recent months. DC2 has just come out with a letter informing of a trip and requesting money and its £12! This is exactly the same trip DC1 went on 3 years ago which cost £7 then. Talk about a price hike!

I work and claim WTC so am not entitled to FSM, even though I am a single parent. As far as I am aware, low income families recieving FSM's still have to pay full price trip costs at my DC's school.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 10/03/2010 23:03

to be honest I think what people find hard is "some" parents are getting the same money left every week/month when they work due to high mortages, rents ect as those on benifits but still have to find the "extras" that people on benifits get free iyswim. Just because your working, doesnt mean you are better off, or not struggling as much as your neighbour who is on benifts.
I have given food vouchers to a working family this week as they have nothing left after paying bills and then given them to one of the mums I work with who is on benifits too, both struggling in a horrible world

and yes school trips are a pita, but ice skating isnt an educational trip but would be nice

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