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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DD's school for giving free trips to free school meals while I pay a packet?

95 replies

justgavebirth · 08/03/2010 21:06

Kids were invited ice-skating and school subsidised children AND adults who are getting free school meals. Of course DD wanted to go and I had to pay £20. Couldn't take my other children because an adult had to accompany each child and I could not afford it.

Two more letters tonight that DD would love to go to but I have had to say no and upset DD. One is for £15 per person (adult must accompany child) and one is for £6.50 per person (adult must accompany child)

If I got free school meals I could take the whole family out on a trip!

Stupid scheme, why can they not just reduce the price for everyone!

OP posts:
Original poster
justgavebirth · 08/03/2010 21:29

Jollypirate - Thank you for your post.

I agree that school trips should be provide for children who's parents are on benefits.

This scheme is extra that the school is trying out. But they have to fund the free trips somehow and while I dont have proof I am sure it is subsidised by paying parents in part.

Now my child has to sit in class and watch her friends go because we cannot afford to send her. I have just had a baby and was sick prior to that so DH took unpaid leave.

OP posts:
animula · 08/03/2010 21:30

If you can't afford the trips, you should tell the school. I suspect they would extend the hardship fund to include your dc.

I am surprised that the school is running such expensive trips.

Dc in receipt of FSM should definitely not be excluded, but clearly, at that price they would be excluding a lot of dc above that income level.

In fact, I am very surprised to hear of a school running (a lot of) trips/events at such a cost.

MotherTed · 08/03/2010 21:32

Someone has already mentioned this, but ice skating hardly comes under curricular activities - curricular activities should rightly be free (and HAS to be so in law) for low income parents.

If the money comes from a hardship fund to participate, then that is fabulous, that the school are actively including poorer families in activities they could perhaps not normally attend.

How much would it be to go to the places (whatever they are) ad hoc, OP, without going with the school? Have you looked into that?

ChasingSquirrels · 08/03/2010 21:33

what is this programme???

And looking at the FSM critera, I wouldn't want to be living at that income level and (not doing so) am happy that school funds were going to subsidise children whose family circumstances were such that they were entitled to FSM, as they wouldn't have the spare cash to do so otherwise.

GlastonburyGoddess · 08/03/2010 21:33

I think if you earn just over the amount to qualify for anything its hard for the dcs too. dc1(6) often says can I have school meals cos X and X have them everyday...erm no. they are entitled to them free, I wouldnt be able to aford them for the minimum 3 days a week they specify. also can I do or _ at after school club. again no as I can only afford to send ds twice a week when Im working, not everyday.

PavlovtheCat · 08/03/2010 21:35

[yawn]

I personally think we should take all the piss poor children and send them to different 'free' schools where they use shit materials, use tracing paper to wipe their asses have no trips out anywhere and treat them like the second class citizens they are. I mean, we would not want them to have anything of good quality, or to do anything where it might be vaguely fun, you know the stuff us taxpayers are paying for.

In fact, lets bring back workhouses and send em all there.

I really like this 'us and them' 'i will look after my own, fuck everyone else attitude'. It is really nice.

JollyPirate · 08/03/2010 21:36

It is a nightmare sometimes - especially when the school springs a trip or some other day on you at short notice. Quite often I have asked the school to wait for payment which they are good about. Must be hell with more than one child though so I do have some sympathy with people who feel resentful.

SparklyGothKat · 08/03/2010 21:38

there is a new government scheme, called the equal opputunties (sp) fund, which fund school trips for people who have free school meals, they are NOT free at my kids school, but the fund pays half of the trip.

JollyPirate · 08/03/2010 21:42

A friend of mine is on benefits and her DD gets free school meals but nothing else. Recently the school had a trip planned to the Sealife centre and knew it would be hard for her so told her "no contribution required". My friend haas severe agoraphobia and suffers severe panic attacks - it's not likely she will ever be able to work again (or at least not for the forseeable future). Without this support at school her DD would not be able to attend very much. And she does contribute where she can.

ChasingSquirrels · 08/03/2010 21:43

don't they still use tracing paper in school toilets then??? wtf is the world coming to.

bigbobblehat · 08/03/2010 21:44

My kids have free school meals, they don't eat much though. Maybe I could get them to actually give me money when the kids go on a trip.

PavlovtheCat · 08/03/2010 21:46

chasing oh please tell me I am not going to have to fund my daughters own toilet paper when she goes to school? I remember sitting there for ages claiming to have a tummy bug while doodling on it , can't have been the only one so not that economical (primary school i might add, not secondary, would be so uncool then right?)

ChasingSquirrels · 08/03/2010 21:51

roffling at "doodling on the loo paper"
the girls loos at our primary have nice paper (only know cos that's where I take small ds2 if he needs to go when we are there), so assume the boys does.

My mum was a teacher and she used to take tissues in her bag rather than use the tracing paper in the staff loo.

Alambil · 08/03/2010 21:56

feel free to join the line of people on benefits who rely on such subsidisations to get an education with extra bits for their children

Warning though. You might not like the constant lack of money.

but hey, you'll get free dinners for your kids and a trip here or there....

mrsackles · 08/03/2010 21:58

LMFAO

This is how I see it:

OP posts question

Then all benefit claimaints jump up and down claiming poverty.

We all know that is not the case for many.

OP of course YABU, why should you struggle to pay your taxes so that they can claim weekly IS and tax credits and then have a cheek to complain that you are helping their kids out too when lets face it they can have as many kids as they want as they know people like you will you pay for them and how dare you bl**dy dare to moan about it.

Strix · 08/03/2010 21:59

I wouldn't be impressed with £20 for a school trip. Ours are more like a £5. But, I also know that if school trips were being announced on a frequent basis in the neighborhood of £20 I would not be the only parent declining them. And we are in West London. Where are you that parents are confortable with forking out this amount? Is it private school?

PavlovtheCat · 08/03/2010 22:01

mrsshackles exactly, because all those on benefits are scroungers. Despite there being millions and millions of pounds of unclaimed benefits, we are wasting more millions already helping the poor who get pregnant and have tons of children for the free trips and meals.

cazzybabs · 08/03/2010 22:01

How do you make a limited budget go round lots os people..there is always going to be a cut off point where people just above it feel bitter. Poor school damned either way - maybe it is just trying to increase the life experience of its children who otherise might not do these things

These trips sound like extras ... don't go or say you are happy for your dd to go but you can't or tel school you can't afford it.

You may or may not be subing those on free school meals but don't be suprised if you are not..coaches are damned expensive..and it ould be the PTA are paying for other children out of school funds or the governors have decided to

Strix · 08/03/2010 22:03

I do somtimes get slight (and only slightly) annoyed about how other people get freebies I work my arse off to pay for... but then I remember that school dinners are made of shit and I don't want them anyway.

Actually I get far more upset about the content of school dinners than I do about whether or not susie Q is paying for them.

PavlovtheCat · 08/03/2010 22:04

you know how to get around it don't you? means test having children. Nope you are too poor, you can't keep it. You have been made redundant, afraid you will have to give up one of your children. You, yes you, you just about scrape through, only by a few pounds though, but still its enough to have a couple of children, but if you lose your job or become ill, you will have to give them up ok? because no-one wants to help you.

That'll work too.

animula · 08/03/2010 22:05

The issue here is not about the FSM thing. That is a complete red herring.

The issue is that your school's trips are too expensive for families such as yours.

Raise that with the school.

Though the more I think about this, the more I find it extraordinary that a school would be charging so much for a number of events.

The extra-curricular thing is also a winding path, going nowhere. Schools just don't run activities that a section of their pupils are excluded from. It's a strange way to behave. I know secondary schools have more expensive trips, but they also have more pupils. A primary running a load of expensive excursions? Just odd.

wastwinsetandpearls · 08/03/2010 22:06

I appreciate it is tough when you are just over the threshold, I have been there.

It would be nonsense however for all familes to have subsidised trips. As somone on a modest but above average income I would be happy tp subsidise other familes if it was needed. But as other have said that money tends to come from a hardship fund.

As a teacher I know very very few if any kids go on all the trips regardless of income.

foxinsocks · 08/03/2010 22:06

they aren't trips, they are activities

totally different thing

wastwinsetandpearls · 08/03/2010 22:08

In defence of the school trips are expensive to run, usually because of the coaches.

I agree that the issue is not FSM but the fact these trips are expensive.

PavlovtheCat · 08/03/2010 22:11

I think I shall walk away from this windup thread, as its, well, winding me up!

It clearly shows, to me, the emphasis there is on material wealth being so so important to people over and above a decent world to live in.

He has more than me, and works less, she does nothing and i work hard. Well, more fool you if you only work for money. I work for so many more reasons than that.

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