to think Dads dont babysit?

[maduggar]

I am planning my Hen night, and was shocked when a couple of my friends said they woudl let me know if they could make it after they had asked their partners if they would "babysit".

Am I wrong in thinking that a childs father, who lives with the child, should not be asked to babysit? If I want to go out, I ask my DP if he minds me going out, I do not ask him to babysit. Same goes for him, he does not ask me to babysit so he can go out, he merely asks if I mind him going.

I am probably BU, but it just doesnt sit right with me.

I hate it. I don't babysit when I am taking care of my son, so why is my husband when he's doing it?

It may be a 'turn of phrase' but its a pretty insulting one to mums everywhere, IMHO.

I don't like it. My husband used to like to tell people that he was 'babysitting' as if he expected a pat on the back - term always annoys me.

I'd say it's more insulting to dads, no?

YANBU, to me babysitting is minding the children while their parents are away, and as soon as they're back you're off the hook.

Just as wrong for parents who don't live together IMO

dh asks me if i'll babysit when he's going out, though, it's just an expression.

yes i too hate this saying yanbu- even if it is just a saying- u never hear men saying -i'll have to check if my dw/dp will babysit

I think it's fair enough to ask whether the "other half" has something else on before commiting to a night out. But if you are suggesting that some children's fathers might not be doing anything else,but still have to agree to babysitting their own child... then

I cgree its a turn of phrase; I refer to dh babysitting if say I go to college or the gym but then if he is going somewhere I might refer to me babysittingIf you have to ask permission or they act like its a favour then it would be an issue but the problem isn't the word but the person

You can't babysit your own kids.

It is just a saying, but it is a bloody stupid one.

why can't you babysit your own kids? to me, babysitting is when someone is left in sole charge of the children to let the parent or parents out of the house in the evening. perfectly reasonable for a father to babysit, as it is a mother.

That's how we use it Aitch

The idea that using the word when I go to the gym makes him a control freak is laughable, given he bought the membership (although hjad stated I would like it before anyone assumes furtehr LOL!)

like, i wouldn't ask dh to 'childmind', because that to me denotes professionalism and someone other than grandma or auntie or parent doing it. but then now that i think about it, i'm in the fortunate position of never having to pay a babysitter iykwim, so it's never had a professional ring to it.

I'm not sure that it is 'just a saying' as the underlying message is that dads are going above and beyond what is expected of them in the usual routine.

I don't get too worked up about it although, like others, I've been asked a few times recently if Mr Funtime is babysitting but he's never been asked with the subtext being 'ah bless him, isn't he modern/good/caring/the exception to the rule'.

it has to be just an expression if both parents use it about the other.

Well it is just a saying here as I babysit and Dh babysits, we can't both be seeing it as extra can we?

And doesn't using the term often eman you are at least checking with your partner, rather than just getting up after tea and saying right off out to the local, back later and assuming 'the missus' will cover?

Because now, that would offend me!

i can see it would be an irritant if dh was getting extra credit from my friends and family etc for doing his bit, but believe me, he doesn't.

Do you know what? It just really doesn't matter very much.

buzzkill. you're needed on Every Thread on MN, btw.

haha ;)

Nope YANBU to be narked at this notwithstanding that it may only be a lazy expression. Even though I work virtually full time and am clearly not a mother who has by default or desire taken on all the childcare responsibilities I constantly get asked on nights out "so is dh babysitting the kids then? Doesn't he mind? No? That's good of him". There is no way he gets asked the same questions on his nights out.

lol ooja.

IMO, it is extremely rare to class a woman as 'babysitting' her own children. I get it all the time though if I am out and my Dh is at home with the kids. It does matter and it is not just a phrase. It reeks of sexism and places childcare firmly at the door of the woman in the relationship. You pay 17 year old A level students to babysit, not the children's father. YADNBU!

I have a problem with being asked "so is your husband at home with the kids?" whether or not it's called babysitting. No-one ever asks him that. They don't ask him anything about where his kids are.