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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my DD shouldn't have been punished for saying this ?

89 replies

spiderpig8 · 07/03/2010 11:24

That her drawing was rubbish ! She takes her art very seriously and rubbed out one side of a butterfly wing and said it was rubbish.The teacher told her that in school they weren't allowed to call their work rubbish and put her name on the board.Actually found this out from the TA.She is 8

OP posts:

PurpleHeffalump · 07/03/2010 19:20

OOOOH - am a teacher and was going to say that I think this teacher is crazy, but only one side of story, etc, etc.

BUT... your friend is a TA working in class with your child and HT. Said friend (who is EMPLOYED by the HT and governors)is then calling the HT bonkers - i.e. bitching about the class teacher to a parent of a child in their class. Now I would say that THAT is BU. Does your friend not want to keep their job for long? She is being completely unprofessional - she should have learned that she needs to keep her work and private life separate if she is going to have children of friends in her class.You can't possibly go in and question the teacher now - how you say that you got that information? Or would you lie and say that your DD told you?

claig · 07/03/2010 19:34

"The teacher is also the HT". Gordon Bennett. Abandon all hope ye who enter the gates of the school.

thesecondcoming · 07/03/2010 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/03/2010 20:03

Go in and tell the headteacher that the TA related this as an example of his 'bonkers' behaviour.

pointylog · 07/03/2010 20:09

yeah, agree with teh madonna

strawberrykate · 07/03/2010 20:14

As a teacher I'm guessing the more likely story was that it was the umpteenth time she had rubbed out the same piece of work. I have had to be pretty firm in the past about moving on and working around imperfecions, otherwise I'd sometimes have one child still doing the same square centimetre all day.I've taken rubbers before, offered loads of help and guidance, even done a few bits to get the child going and turned round to find it all rubbed out with a borrowed rubber. Sometimes you need to be a bit harsh to break the rubber dependency of some child in class because there's no convincing them that a slight imperfection is unnoticeable in a finished picture but crumpled grey smudges never look good. Name on the board hardly sounds draconian, shouting would be off, but it sounds like a rather calm way of making a point!

TheFirstLady · 07/03/2010 21:36

As others have pointed out your friend has been extremely unprofessional - out of school or not, she could lose her job for this. Why did she feel the need to tell you - was there more to the story?

thumbwitch · 07/03/2010 22:00

why could she lose her job? Is their some closed shop teacher confidentiality thing whereby no one is allowed to talk about what happened in the classroom outside of school? If the TA had been gossiping with other parents, would it not have been worse than telling the parent of the child involved, even if she happens to be her friend?

Am genuinely surprised (although I agree about the lack of professionalism) that some of you think it is a sackable offence.

cazzybabs · 07/03/2010 22:07

yes but is it the TAs job to tell a parent what a teacher did - I don't think it is..

I aggree there is more to this than meets the eye. I wouldn't like any child I teach calling their work rubbish...I can't understand why her name would go on the board unless she had been given some warnings.

claig · 07/03/2010 22:09

does nobody ever bitch about their boss to their DH or to their friends?

strawberrykate · 07/03/2010 22:11

It has on many occassions given rise to warnings, even sackings. It's unprofessional. If she should want parent informed there are proper channels. Imagine for instance if your pharmacist shared your prescription needs with a mutual friend, you'd be outraged. Adults in school must protect the children in their care, which is why the rules are so strict. There is no room for individuals deciding themselves when it is ok and when it isn't.

cazzybabs · 07/03/2010 22:12

yes i do bitch but not a parent of someone I teach...

TheFallenMadonna · 07/03/2010 22:36

Would you bitch about your boss to a customer?

JustAnotherManicMummy · 07/03/2010 22:39

Does it really matter? Does your DD care?

claig · 07/03/2010 22:39

if the customer was my best friend and had received rude service or shoddy treatment from the boss, I probably would.

thumbwitch · 07/03/2010 22:44

strawberrykate I can't see there is a comparison there, sorry.

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 23:18

crazycabs is rubbish a taboo word in class other than to mean actual trash/waste etc? Aside from all the other arguments and conjecturing (and yes the op needs to be careful before charging in gung ho style ) I just want to find out as I know this was akin to an issue debated last Easter at the NUT conference as they had a motion calling for certain words to be banned, failure being one of them. So as a parent and children's Coach I just wanted to continue the debate on this one.(I have also sobered up now asI had a nice long walk in the countryside and a curry .)

Feenie · 08/03/2010 14:08

Teachers wouldn't encourage a child to describe their work as rubbish, no - it's not terribly constructive, is it? They would be encouraged to say why they didn't like it, however.

When you said you 'teach young children', bol, I assumed you meant you were a teacher. What do you coach, out of interest?

saslou · 08/03/2010 14:19

I think a parent is entitled to know everything that happens at school with regard to their own child. It's not really comparable to a pharmacist discussing your medication. I think if the TA had discussed it with someone other than the childs parent then that would have been unprofessional.
Before going into school all guns blazing, I would advise letting the teacher have her say. You do sometimes find things are not quite what you have been led to believe

seeker · 08/03/2010 19:55

"I think a parent is entitled to know everything that happens at school with regard to their own child."

Wow - I don't. I think this would make the system completely unworkable!

cazzybabs · 08/03/2010 20:17

well i wouldn't like a child I teach to describe their work as rubbish. I think it is very negative and unhelpful. I think partly because (1) as a parent it is not something I would like a teacher to use and (2) I wouldn't like it if a child used it to describe someome else's work as rubbish. And it doesn't suggest any way the child can improve it for next time and suggests a negative self-image.

And I don't think as a parent we have a right to know every single detail of our child's life at school. If it is significant I tell a parent, but somethings have been dealt with and life has moved on. When you hand your child over at the school gate there is a degree of letting go..and personally I don't wish to know every misdemeanor that goes on and I trust my children's teachers to tell me if they think I need to know.

intercoursethepenguin · 08/03/2010 20:20

Surely the ability to critically assess their own work and that of others is an objective of the education system.

cazzybabs · 08/03/2010 20:21

yes it is .. but would like someone to describe your work as rubbish

saslou · 08/03/2010 20:33

seeker and crazzybabs - as parents, we are the people that our children depend on to look out for their best interests. There are many wonderful teachers out there, but some are less than wonderful. i am not saying that I want a detailed account from the teacher of everything that has occurred during the day, but if something has happened to upset the child then the parent does have a right to an explanation. What might seem insignificant to the teacher may well hold greater significance to the child.
I do think that parents have a responsibility to be civil and give the school a fair hearing.

cazzybabs · 08/03/2010 20:41

yep - and I would be willing to discuss that with you. however - I don't think it is the TAs job to tell you. I probably would have done the same as this teacher - I don't think I would have told the parent because I don't think it is significant. Had your child told you and you came to talk to me about it I would be more than happy to disucss with you. Howver it didn't come from the child it came from the TA - that is my issue.

The points from the OP is
(1) can a child descibe her own work as rubbish? and I don't think it is word I would encorage children to use in my classroom

(2) the name writing on the WB - I don't make any comment on - it is not something I would have done on face value but there may be more to it

(3) Should the TA have told the OP - no it is not her place unless the teacher asked her to

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